


For You

by Capsicle2013



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Avengers Family, Baby Peter Parker, Breastfeeding, Bucky Barnes Is a Good Bro, Difficult Decisions, Established Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Eventual Happy Ending, Healing, Hurt Steve Rogers, Illnesses, M/M, Morning Sickness, Mpreg, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Near Death, Not Canon Compliant, Nursing, Parent Steve Rogers, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker is Tony and Steve's Biological Child, Precious Peter Parker, Pregnancy, Pregnant Steve Rogers, Protective Tony Stark, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Sick Steve, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Stubborn Steve Rogers, Superfamily (Marvel), Team as Family, Temporary Character Death, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Worried Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:41:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 45,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22234996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Capsicle2013/pseuds/Capsicle2013
Summary: Tony hated watching Steve suffer, and knowing he couldn’t do anything to help was killing him.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 471
Kudos: 482





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I kinda got the idea for this one after I wrote my stony story where their baby was sick. I thought it would be interesting to switch the roles a bit and have Steve be the one who was sick, and the hardships he has during the pregnancy. I know he has the serum to help with a lot of things, but in this it's a little different. Anyway, let me know what you think!

There was no glow. From what Tony has read so far, there was supposed to be some kind of radiant glow around this stage, or maybe it hadn’t happened yet. It was still early, and everyone experienced this differently. Tony thought maybe he had seen a sneak peek of it the day Steve announced the news; he had been so happy, his face bright and full of joy. He was practically glowing with happiness.

But that was a few months ago, and that little bit of a glow Steve did have seemed to disappear. That happiness and joy for their unborn child was still present, but there was something just beneath the surface that Tony couldn’t quite place.

It was worrisome and more often than not he would bring the issue up to Steve. All he received was some reassurance from his boyfriend. It wasn’t enough to ease his worried mind, but he dropped it and forced himself to find joy in their situation.

They were having a baby. It was both exciting and nerve wracking all at the same time. Tony blames his uneasiness on the fact that he was going to be a father. He never saw himself ever becoming one, but Steve had changed a lot of him since their time together, and now was no different.

There are times when he finds himself overthinking and scaring himself in the process. He promises to be a good father, better than what he was used to. He’d do anything for his child.

At first, Tony doesn’t understand why he’s awake. He had spent another long night in the lab, and had only been in bed for at least a couple of hours. He blames his shitty sleep cycle and rolls over to try to get a few more hours in, only to find that the other side of the bed is empty and cold. It’s impossible to sleep without Steve by his side.

Tony props himself up to glance around the room, giving his eyes a moment to adjust to the darkness surrounding him. He can’t make out the familiar form of his boyfriend, and his absence becomes worrisome. It’s not until sounds from the bathroom reach his ears does Tony relax. But only just. He knows those sounds.

With a sad sigh he throws the blankets off himself and gets up, ready to battle another round of Steve’s sickness. It’s something he’s used to by now.

He doesn’t make it to the bathroom, the door is opening and Steve is staggering out. The bathroom light is still on, illuminating the room just enough for Tony to take in his appearance. Like before, there’s no glow.

His skin is clammy and covered in a thin layer of sweat. He moves cautiously, almost as if he’s afraid he’ll lose his balance. Tony is at his side in a matter of seconds, wanting to be there in case Steve does lose his footing.

“‘M fine.” Steve slurs his words. He staggers again, quickly catching himself and using the doorway to steady himself.

“How bad was it?” Tony finds himself asking a question Steve’s probably tired of hearing. The way Steve rolls his eyes lets Tony know he had been right. “Come on, Steve. I just worry.”

“It’s fine, Tony. This part is normal.”

Tony is ready to protest. There’s no way that what Steve is going through is considered normal. He knew some things about morning sickness, but there was something about the bad case Steve had that left him worried.

“I don’t see how you puking your guts out every damn day is normal.” Tony doesn’t mean to come off as harsh, but he’s tired of Steve not taking this seriously.

Steve rolls his eyes again and exits the bathroom, no longer wanting to participate in the current conversation. He’s exhausted, more so than he’s ever been, and all he can think about is going back to bed. Tony obviously isn’t.

“Really? You’re just gonna ignore me?” Tony follows him to their bed, but refuses to climb in. Sleep is the last thing on his mind.

“Tony, I just want to sleep. I’m tired, and I know you are too.” Steve pats the spot beside him, hoping that would be enough to lure Tony back to bed.

Tony scoffs and folds his arms over his chest. Steve is still staring up at him, silently pleading for him to give up the fight and come back to bed where it’s warm. It’s easy to give in to Steve and with a sigh of defeat, Tony climbs in beside him.

Steve moves closer and Tony wraps his arms around him, glad to have his warmth back. “I just worry, Cap. I know you said it’s normal but...is it, really?”

“Yeah,” Steve replies. “I’m okay, Tony.”

“You promise? I worry about you. I’ve never seen you-”

“Sick? Trust me, this is nothing. I’ve been worse.”

“I know,” Tony says, sadly. Watching him now with morning sickness was difficult, and he can't imagine what Steve had gone through before the serum transformation. “Just promise you’ll tell me if it gets really bad.”

“I will,” Steve promises. He yawns and Tony decides to end the conversation, not wanting to keep Steve up any longer.

They lie in silence, and it’s not until Steve’s soft breathing fills Tony’s ears does he realize Steve had drifted off to sleep. Tony trails one hand between them, letting it rest over Steve’s growing middle. It’s just starting to curve, and in just a few months it will become noticeable.

Tony gently rubs small circles over the small bump, feeling a sense of joy course through him. His baby is growing just beneath his fingertips, and though it brings him a great deal of happiness, he can’t help the dreadful feeling that creeps up on him.

The pregnancy had been hard on Steve, but it wasn’t just him it was affecting. It was difficult for Tony as well, and he doesn’t know how they are supposed to get through the next few months. He hated watching Steve suffer, and knowing he couldn’t do anything to help was killing him.

It’s supposed to get easier, at least that’s what Steve promised. Tony just hopes he's right.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for the wonderful feedback! It means a lot to know that my readers are enjoying my work! You guys are the best!

The next few weeks pass with ease, and it appears things are beginning to look up. Just as Steve had said, the morning sickness has finally run its course and he’s well on his way to the next stage of his pregnancy. It’s a relief knowing Steve won’t be suffering morning and night, but that uneasy feeling still refuses to leave Tony alone.

He pushes it aside, not wanting to worry himself or Steve over something that could possibly be normal. He’s lost count of how many times Steve had assured him that this was how pregnancy was supposed to be. Tony had wanted to argue, but there was no point in doing so when he had no idea what was really going on with Steve’s body.

That didn’t stop Tony from looking after Steve. Though he couldn’t take away most of the discomfort the pregnancy brought on, he could still do his best to make sure Steve was well cared for. If he was smothering his boyfriend, Steve didn’t voice his complaints and Tony continued doing whatever he could to help Steve through this.

It wasn’t just Tony that took notice of Steve’s illness. Keeping a pregnancy hidden was a lot harder than Tony had anticipated. The plan was to announce the news to the team once Steve entered his second trimester, but their plan quickly fell through when the morning sickness reared its ugly head.

To say it was a shock would be an understatement. Tony could relate to his friend’s reactions; he had been surprised when Steve first broke the news to him, but the shock didn’t last long and it was quickly replaced with excitement and congratulations were given.

It wasn’t until they really noticed how harsh the pregnancy was on Steve did their mood change. Everyone was worried about their Captain, but like always, Steve was quick to assure both his team and boyfriend that he was fine. And for the most part, everyone believed him.

Steve was many things, but a good liar was not one of them. He’s lost count of the times Natasha or Tony gave him a hard time for his inability to lie. He hated having to do it, but if the situation called for it, then he was going to do it. This was one of those times.

He’s hunched over the toilet, fingers digging painfully into the porcelain beneath him as he’s forced into another round of vomiting. Steve pulled away slightly, making sure to keep his head close just in case. His stomach is still churning, reminding him that he wasn’t out of the woods yet.

As of late, it seemed like every little thing was setting off the morning sickness. Yesterday had been the smell of coffee and today it had been the strong smell of oil and grease. Steve was familiar with those scents; Tony was always coming home smelling like his favorite beverage and his lab. In the past it hadn’t been an issue. He couldn’t say that now.

Steve doesn’t move from his spot, not even when his leg tingles from the awkward position he has it in. He knows if he moves it will just set off another round. His stomach is still upset and Steve leans closer, preparing himself for it to start again. He doesn’t have anything left in his stomach, but the nausea still lingers.

It happens quickly and Steve ducks his head in the bowl, the sound of his retching echoing in the room. He’s glad Tony’s already down stairs with the team for dinner and unable to hear the awful sounds Steve produces.

When it’s finally over, Steve leans back, body shaking slightly and throat burning from the intensity. He knows better than to get up right away, having learned the hard way in the past. Tony didn’t notice the bruise on his arm and it became another thing Steve kept hidden.

It was wrong, he knew that, but Tony was worried enough as it is and the last thing Steve wanted was to worry his boyfriend even more. He tells himself that this is normal, that morning sickness wasn’t supposed to be easy, but that tiny voice in his head reminded him that it shouldn’t be this bad. Steve tunes that voice out. He wasn’t going to get himself worked up, too. He was perfectly fine.

Steve reaches over to flush everything away, then he’s leaning back against the wall to rest. He’s used to being sick, but there was something about his new illness that he couldn’t shake. It’s been a while since he’s experienced anything like this; he has the serum to thank for that, but now he’s wondering if the serum is interfering with his pregnancy.

He doesn’t get that much time to dwell on the idea. Tony is probably looking for him and he’s surprised his boyfriend hasn’t come searching. Steve forces himself up, wincing slightly from the discomfort that shoots through him from being on the hard floor for too long. It’s nothing he can’t handle.

Splashing cool water on his flushed skin helps, but it does nothing to ease the nausea. It passes, but there was no telling when it would decide to make itself known. Steve prays he’s given a break.

The team’s voices fill his ears when Steve makes his way up the steps toward the communal living area. He needs to take a moment to rest, leaning against the rail when the dizziness decides it wants a turn at torturing him. It passes quickly, giving Steve a chance to continue up.

The smell is what hits him first and for a split second he contemplates turning around and returning to his apartment. But he’s been noticed by Sam and he’s being waved over. Bucky is the next to notice him and Steve knows he has no choice but to mingle with his friends.

“Where the hell have you been?” Sam questions when Steve approaches. The way he’s looking him over makes Steve nervous. It had to have been obvious what was going on, but Steve was praying Sam didn’t notice.

“Fell asleep,” Steve replies. It’s not a complete lie. He had drifted off while Tony worked in the lab, and it wasn’t until the nausea kicked in was he interrupted from his nap.

Sam is still eyeing him closely, almost as if he’s searching for any indication of a lie. Then he smiles and Steve’s able to relax. “Better sleep now, Cap. You’re not gonna get any once that kid comes.”

“Yeah.” Steve forces his own smile. He doesn’t tell Sam that he’s not sleeping now. He knows he needs to stop hiding information from his team, but once he’s started, he finds that he can’t stop.

“You sure you’re okay?” It’s Bucky’s turn to grill him; Steve wasn’t surprised. Back in the day when they were just two kids from Brooklyn, it had been Bucky by his side whenever he grew ill. His best friend knew him better than anyone, and of course it would be him to call Steve out on his bullshit.

“I’m fine, Buck.” It’s a lie, a lie he’s told his best friend for as long as he can remember. It was a lie Bucky could see straight through and now was no different.

Bucky knows something is up, that much Steve can tell, but he keeps it to himself. That doesn’t stop him from giving Steve a look. Steve is thankful when Tony spots him and pulls him away from his friends.

Then he begins asking questions and Steve wishes he had stayed behind.

“You sleep okay?” The question seems harmless enough, but Steve knows his boyfriend. “You don’t look so good.”

“Just tired. It’s a lot,” Steve says. He knew that having a baby was difficult, he just never knew it would be like this.

“I know,” Tony nods in agreement and he smiles sympathetically. “You’re making a human being. You know I could’ve just made us a little robot baby. Look how great Dum-E came out.”

This time when Steve smiles, it’s genuine. “No,” he shakes his head, and his hand falls to his belly. “I love this baby.”

“Yeah, I know.” Tony gives a small shrug and he reaches out to rest his own hand over Steve’s. “I love this kid too…”

Steve is quick to pick up on his boyfriend’s hesitation and he frowns. “But? Something about this is bothering you.”

Tony sighs. “Okay, you got me. I just worry. You know that.”

“And you know you have no reason to. This is perfectly normal.”

 _Is it?_ That inner voice is back to taunt him; Steve ignores it again. What he was going through was completely normal.

“You’re right,” Tony says. “It’s getting better and I won’t worry so much anymore. Just tell me if something changes.”

“I will.” It’s difficult to say those words when Steve knows he isn’t following them.

Tony seems calmer now and he smiles, reaching out to take Steve’s hand. “Come on. You hungry?”

“Starving,” he answers and he allows himself to be led toward the kitchen.

One look at the food set out on the island has him wanting to change his response. He’s hungry and knows he needs to eat, but the very thought of putting something in his stomach makes him queasy.

It was obvious by the variety of food that no one could make a decision for tonight's dinner. The box of Chinese takeout beckons Steve, but then the nausea is returning and Steve is forced to decline.

“You’re not eating?” Natasha questions when Steve turns down another option. “You’re eating for two now, Rogers.”

“Don’t remind me.” Steve grimaces, rubbing absentmindedly at his upset stomach. The smell of the food is getting to him, and watching Bucky and Sam put away eggrolls isn’t helping his nausea. “I think I’m gonna lie down.”

Steve doesn’t wait for his teammates to stop him, and he makes himself comfortable on one of the sofas. His sensitive nose can still pick up on the nauseating aroma filling the air, and he decides to go back to bed. At least if he had another episode his team wouldn’t know about it.

But he never gets the chance to disappear. Tony is coming over, and with a plate of the Asian noodles Steve wanted no part of.

“You gotta eat something, Cap,” Tony says, and Steve knows he’s going to keep pushing until the plate is empty. “The baby needs this.”

Steve is ready to protest; his baby does not need greasy takeout. But he accepts the plate anyway, silently praying that the food doesn’t upset him.

“Thanks,” he mutters. It’s difficult to keep the look of disgust off his face. He uses the fork to move the noodles around, doing his best to not think about the noise they make when moved around the plate. He can’t tell if the smell or sight of the food is worse.

Tony is still there, no doubt waiting until every noodle is consumed. Steve wishes his boyfriend would go away and mingle with everyone else.

“You don’t have to watch me eat,” Steve tells him.

“Maybe I do. You’re not eating.” Tony shoots back, gesturing toward the untouched plate.

Steve glances back down at the food, lips curling in disgust at the mere thought of having to actually take a bite. He grips the fork tightly in one hand and gathers a decent amount of noodles, then he’s slowly bringing it to his lips. The smell is stronger now and he has to force himself not to gag.

“You good?” Tony questions, deciding to take the spot beside Steve and watch him from there.

Steve doesn’t reply; he’s not sure if he can answer truthfully yet. He chews quickly, not wanting to take the chance of spitting it out and he swallows. So far so good. He takes a few more bites.

“Yeah,” he finally gives Tony an answer. “I’m good.”

“Good.” Tony rubs his shoulder soothing. “Let me know if you want more.”

Steve looks down at his plate, contemplating if it’s even safe to accept another helping. His stomach hasn’t protested yet, and for a moment he thinks he’ll be able to keep this meal down.

The rest of the team finally joins them with their desired food in hand. Steve wrinkles his nose, not very fond of the smell Natasha’s dish is producing. She of course decides to make herself comfortable on the other side of Steve, and he has to bite back the urge to vomit right then and there.

His nose picks up another scent, one that would have never bothered him before the baby. Natasha has always smelled nice; Steve wasn’t sure if the source was from her shampoo or if she dabbed a bit of perfume on before starting her day. Whatever the reason, he found her scent appealing. Now, though, it was an issue.

Steve shifts in his seat, wanting to be further away from her and closer to Tony. But then he’s smelling the grease that followed his boyfriend from the lab, and Steve feels trapped.

“You okay, Steve?” Natasha notices right away that something wasn’t right with her friend. Her question captures the attention of everyone else and all eyes fall on Steve.

“F-fine,” he stutters out a reply. He cast his gaze down, but he can still feel the burning one from his friends. His stomach is acting up again and he places one hand over his belly, silently begging it to not ruin the night with his friends.

His answer must be enough to shift the conversation in a different direction, and the team began discussing their latest briefing. Steve tunes them out, his focus is entirely on the pestering nausea.

Tony isn’t participating in the conversation and when Steve glances up, he finds that his boyfriend’s attention is strictly for him. He takes Tony’s hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Tony visibly relaxes, but Steve knows he’ll be asking for more reassurance throughout the night.

Steve does his best to ignore the discomfort brought on from his morning sickness, but the constant churning in his stomach makes it almost impossible. Steve rises to his feet, muttering an apology before making his way toward the small kitchen. He keeps his distance from the food, not wanting to take one look and lose the bit that he did consume. The glass of water he serves himself helps, but it’s not enough to chase the nausea away.

A hand on his shoulder startles him and Steve turns his head, eyes connecting with steel blue ones. Bucky is giving him that look again. “You’re not fine, are you?” Bucky sounds concerned, but Steve can still hear that annoyed tone in his voice. They’ve been in a scene like this before.

“I’m fi-”

“I know you, Steve.” Bucky cuts him off. “Something is going on.”

“Buck, I swear I’m okay. I’m just tired, that’s all.”

Bucky doesn’t appear convinced, not that Steve would expect him to. “Take it easy, pal. I don’t wanna see you falling apart again.”

Steve huffs out a laugh. “You won’t. I’m stronger now. I’ll be fine.”

“You better be.”

“I am.”

Bucky nods and pats him on the shoulder, then he’s returning to the rest of the team. Steve decides to do the same, only to change his mind when he takes a couple steps and sways. His hand flies out to grip the edge of the counter, using it to steady himself while his vision blurs. He waits for a moment, giving the dizziness a chance to finish. It subsides and Steve is able to move again.

He catches Tony’s eyes and he offers a reassuring smile. It’s not enough to convince his boyfriend this time; Steve can see the way Tony’s eyes filled with concern. He doesn’t want to see that look again, and he makes a promise to himself to be honest and let Tony in if his condition gets worse.

He just hopes it doesn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, Steve is being secretive but he probably won't be able to keep up with all the lies. I hope you all enjoyed this latest chapter! Please let me know what you think! I will update soon :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony learns about Steve's secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just say how awesome you all are! I love every single kudo and comment I get! It means so much and I'm so happy that everyone is liking this story! That's all I want to say :)

Steve regrets joining his teammates for dinner. He was lucky enough to survive the evening without having his morning sickness make an appearance, but he wasn’t that lucky. It was going to sneak up on him sooner or later, and it had decided now was a great time.

He had gone to bed early, which didn’t surprise anyone since they knew how tired he’s been lately. Making a human being was hard work and his body was having trouble adjusting to the new changes. He couldn’t imagine being pregnant before the serum; he wouldn’t have survived the complications.

His new body should be able to take the abuse his pregnancy was putting him through, but it was struggling to keep up. The constant fatigue was one thing-Steve was familiar with that-but the morning sickness was making the experience of carrying life miserable. He wonders why the serum hasn’t intervened.

 _Maybe it has_ That inner voice tells him. Steve almost agrees.

His stomach is still upset and Steve places one hand over his belly, wincing slightly from the discomfort. He can’t imagine going through another round, but his body has different ideas and he lurches forward, burying his head in the bowl beneath him and emptying the contents of his stomach.

It’s impossible to keep quiet and he prays he’s not disturbing Tony from a good night's sleep. There’s a part of Steve that resents his boyfriend. Tony doesn’t have to deal with the constant nausea and lack of sleep. Well, the nausea anyway. Tony still suffers from insomnia from time to time.

So it’s not surprising when Steve hears the bathroom door creak open. He can’t bring himself to peer in Tony’s direction, and even if he could, he would keep his gaze cast down.

He waits for Tony to start yelling at him, but instead a comforting hand is being placed over his back. Steve leans into the touch, thankful that he has Tony to comfort him.

Steve pulls away once he’s finished and Tony reaches over to flush everything away for him. “You good?” He asks and Steve nods in response.

“The food didn’t sit well with me, I guess,” Steve says when he catches the worried look on Tony’s face.

“I thought this part was over. You said you were feeling better.”

“I was…” Steve pauses, knowing there was no point in lying anymore. He sighs heavily. “I’m not...better.”

Tony inhales sharply and he leans back against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest. “How long?”

“Four maybe five weeks.”

“You told me this part was over and you were fine.”

“Tony, it’s supposed to be.”

“And that doesn’t bother you? Why did you keep this from me?”

“It’s not a big deal.”

Tony scoffs. “If it wasn’t then you wouldn’t have kept it from me.”

Steve sighs and his head drops. “I knew you would worry about me, which is why I didn’t say anything. I’m fine, Tony.”

“It’s a little hard to believe you when you’re on the floor puking your guts out.” Tony moves from his spot and grabs a tissue, handing it to Steve.

“Thanks,” Steve mutters and takes the provided tissue and wiping around his mouth. He doesn’t move from his spot on the floor, not wanting to experience the dizzy spell that’s sure to follow.

“Were you gonna tell me at all or was your plan to hide this? It’s a really bad plan by the way.”

“I was going to tell you if it got worse. Right now it’s manageable.”

“I don’t buy it but whatever.”

“Tony, I’m sorry. I just didn’t want you to worry about me.”

“We can talk about this later.” Tony offers Steve his hand and when Steve accepts it, he carefully pulls him to his feet. Steve sways slightly and Tony is there to catch him this time.

Not much is said between them after that. Tony focuses on Steve and what he can do to make him comfortable; their conversation put on hold for the time being.

Steve makes frequent trips to the bathroom that night, giving Tony just a sneak peak of what he’s been hiding. It’s not until his seventh time does Tony finally speak up.

“Steve, this isn’t-” Tony’s words are cut short when Steve lurches forward again and the room fills with the sounds of his violent retching. Tony winces at the sound and rushes toward Steve, kneeling down beside him and laying a comforting hand over his back. “There ya go, Cap. You’re okay.”

Steve coughs and pulls away, gesturing for something Tony doesn’t quite understand. “W-water.” He manages to get out and Tony is leaving the room to get him a glass of water.

“Better?” Tony asks when he returns and he hands Steve the small glass of water.

Steve takes a drink to avoid answering the question. “I’m fine,” he finally provides a response. It’s obviously not one Tony is willing to accept.

“You’re not, Steve. I mean...look at you!”

“Tony, this is-”

“I swear to God if you say this is normal then I’m gonna fucking lose it. This is not normal, Steve! Why don’t you understand that!”

“Alright!” Steve’s voice raises slightly. “I get it.”

“Do you? Because it doesn’t seem like you do. You know this is wrong, otherwise you wouldn’t have kept it from me.”

“I’m sorry,” Steve says and Tony scoffs. “Tony, I really am. I swear I was going to tell you if it got worse.”

“Has it got worse?” Tony asks. Steve gives a small nod in response and Tony curses. “Dammit, Steve. Out of all the stupid things you’ve done-”

“Stop. I don’t want to do this right now.”

“You have to do something, Steve.”

“I know.”

“I mean it. We’ll go down to medical right now.

“No,” Steve shakes his head and Tony sighs. “Not tonight. I just need to rest, that’s all.”

Tony is ready to argue again, but one look into Steve’s pleading eyes is enough for him to drop it. At least for now.

“Fine,” he says in defeat and offers a hand for Steve to take. “If you’re not better in the morning then I’m dragging your ass down there. Got it?”

“Loud and clear.”

Steve takes Tony’s hand and is carefully pulled to his feet. His vision blurs for a moment and he clutches Tony tightly. “Dizzy,” he explains when he notices the way Tony tenses beside him.

“You’re stubborn, Rogers.”

“I know.”

* * *

Tony is furious when Steve refuses to go get an exam in medical the following morning. Steve had woke up feeling better, or at least that’s what he claimed; Tony was having trouble trusting him after learning that he had kept his health issues hidden.

It takes every fiber of his being not to start another argument. Steve knew his body better than anyone and if he was insisting that he was fine, then Tony had no choice but to drop the issue. That was easier said than done. He was ready to follow through and drag Steve to medical, but he was needed elsewhere.

Tony grumbles to himself while he adjusts his tie. The board meeting that was scheduled had slipped his mind; Steve’s pregnancy had been the only thing occupying his thoughts lately. He’s tempted to call Pepper and have the meeting canceled, but he knew she would kill him if he canceled again.

He finishes up with his tie and reaches for his suit jacket, freezing when a familiar sound fills his ears. With a heavy sigh he abandons the jacket, not wanting to get vomit on his new suit.

Steve is where he always is these days: curled around the toilet and his head buried in the bowl. Tony doesn’t hesitate to jump into action, rushing over to help when Steve begins to choke.

“Hey, you’re okay. Almost done, honey,” Tony tells him, using one hand to rub soothingly along Steve’s back.

It goes on like this for a few more minutes, then Steve is pulling away and resting against the wall. While he rests, Tony goes about cleaning up where Steve had missed and then grabbing a washcloth for Steve’s mouth.

“What was it this time?” Tony asks. Steve had barely touched his breakfast, complaining that the eggs were too yellow. It didn’t make any sense to Tony, but he didn’t push for an explanation. The bit of food that Steve did eat must be the reason.

“I don’t know,” Steve replies and Tony’s not sure if he likes that answer. He remembers certain smells and foods setting the morning sickness off, but that was a month ago and now he was finding out that Steve was getting worse. He hated it.

“Steve,” he starts and he can tell his boyfriend already knows what he’s going to say. Steve sighs and turns his head away, not wanting to meet Tony’s gaze anymore. “Steve, you have to see a doctor. We can go right now and-”

“You have a meeting.”

“Fuck the meeting. You’re more important to me. I can call Pepper right now and cancel it; I don’t care.”

“Tony, I’m okay. You can go. I have Sam and Bucky if anything happens,” Steve says. He frowns slightly when Tony scoffs.

“What? Oh I’m sorry. Am I supposed to believe that you’re really okay? Well excuse me for having trust issues.” Tony snaps. It’s getting difficult to prevent an argument from starting. Even with the hurt expression on Steve’s face, Tony can’t conceal his anger anymore and he loosens his tie angrily. “We’re going,” he says, and storms out of the bathroom.

The tie is tossed on the bed, landing beside the jacket that is no longer needed. Tony pulls out his phone, ready to inform Pepper of another cancellation, but he doesn’t get a chance to make the call.

A loud thump reaches his ears and Tony tosses his phone aside, running back to the bathroom to assist Steve again. He doesn’t find Steve in his usual spot, and the sight that greets him makes his heart stop.

“Steve!” Tony rushes over to his boyfriend’s lifeless form, gently lifting him and placing him in his lap. Steve makes a noise that sounds suspiciously like his name. “Hey, stay with me. I’m here, Cap.”

“T-Tony.” Steve’s voice is quiet, but it still manages to send a wave of relief over Tony. At least he was awake.

“Hey, I’m here. Just hang on.”

Steve’s eyes flutter closed. They don’t open again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger! But Tony finally knows! I told you there was gonna be a lot of drama, and it's only going to get worse for these two :( I'm tempted to have Dr. Strange in this, mostly because he's awesome and the bantering between him and Tony are enjoyable. I know he's not the kind of doctor Steve needs, but maybe he can pop in for a bit. I will update soon!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve learns some devastating news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost had this chapter done last night, but then I got stuck doing some research and fell asleep. Sorry about that! This chapter is gonna be drama filled, so sorry about that too! I hope you all enjoy it!!

Tony hasn’t moved from his spot beside Steve, even after the doctor confirmed that he was stable. The last thing he was going to do was leave him again; if he had been there to catch him then they wouldn’t be in this situation. No, if Steve hadn’t kept his declining health from him.

This isn’t the time or place to play the blame game, so like always, Tony is forced to push aside his feelings. He reaches for Steve’s hand, brushing his thumb soothingly over his knuckles. Steve stirs, but doesn’t wake; Tony is thankful that he’s alive.

The cut along his forehead is bothersome. It’s patched up, but Tony can still see the blood pooling behind the bandage. He knows it should at least be in the healing stages by now; the serum made sure any wound or bruise inflicted on Steve would clear up. It doesn’t appear to be doing it’s job now, and Tony would be lying if he claimed that didn’t sit well with him.

He lets his eyes roam over the rest of Steve’s sleeping form, taking in how pale he looks and...skinnier. Tony’s read over Steve’s medical file, knows all about his past health complications, but he never expected to witness them. They were supposed to be a thing of the past now that he had the super soldier serum running through his veins.

There’s a feeling of dread settling in the pit of his stomach. Tony knew pregnancy wasn’t easy, and complications could arise no matter how healthy a person may appear; he figured Steve’s body could handle whatever was thrown at him. It’s done so in the past.

But now, Tony was having his doubts.

The sound of the door to Steve’s private room is what snaps Tony from his thoughts, and he glances up, meeting the eyes of Pepper. He hadn’t expected her to show up, not when she was practically running his company for him when he was unable to, but he appreciated the gesture. Tony rises from the chair to greet her; it’s the first time he’s moved since Steve was admitted.

“How is he?” Pepper asks, her eyes shifting to Steve for a moment before settling them back on Tony’s.

“Good...I think,” Tony replies, his brows furrowing slightly. “To be honest, I don’t know. Doctor says he’s stable, but obviously he needs to see someone that specializes in this sort of thing.”

“That shouldn’t be too hard to find. I mean, it’s you.”

Tony huffs out a laugh. “Trust me money isn’t the issue here. No one really knows that we’re expecting, and finding someone to keep this quiet from the press…”

“I’m sure you can pay them to keep quiet. Like you said, money isn’t an issue.”

“I appreciate you coming down here, Pep. Sorry about the meeting.”

“Well, considering this was an actual emergency this time, I’m not going to scold you,” Pepper teases. Tony smiles softly, then it’s faltering. “Hey,” Pepper rests her hand over his shoulder. “He’s going to be okay. This is Steve we’re talking about here.”

“I know. Maybe I’m just overthinking this whole thing,” Tony says.

“That does sound like you. He’s going to be okay,” Pepper says again, this time pulling Tony into a comforting hug.

Tony welcomes the embrace. “Thanks, Pep,” he murmurs into her shoulder.

Pepper doesn’t stay long after that. Tony wasn’t expecting a lengthy visit; she was a busy woman, but it was nice having her to lean on. He promised to keep her updated if anything changed.

Steve wakes up shortly after Pepper leaves. Tony is still by his side, holding his hand when his eyes fluttered open. A small groan leaves his lips and Tony is ready to track down the doctor, only to freeze when Steve gives his hand a gentle squeeze.

“Don’t go.” He rasps.

“Trust me, Cap I’m not going anywhere.” It’s a promise Tony will never break. “How are you feeling?”

“Head hurts like hell.” Steve makes an attempt to sit up, groaning again when a sharp pain shoots through his skull.

“You took a nasty fall,” Tony explains, gently pushing against Steve’s chest until he’s lying back down. “Take it easy.”

Steve huffs, cracking a small smile. “You dragged my ass to medical.”

“I told you I would. You scared the hell out of me.”

“Sorry. I just get dizzy sometimes.”

Tony has to fight the urge to roll his eyes. He sighs instead. “It was more than that,” he says, gesturing toward the IV drip beside Steve. “You’re dehydrated.”

Steve glances down at the needle and tube in his arm, moving slightly and hissing when the movement brings discomfort. “It’s the morning sickness, right?” He asks.

“I don’t know. I’m still waiting for the doctor.”

“Tony-”

“Relax. He’s part of the staff here. But you need to see someone-”

“Tony, I’m fine. I don’t need-”

“Dammit, Steve stop being so stubborn!” Tony’s voice raises slightly, his irritation toward Steve finally getting the best of him. “I’m sorry,” he says, his tone calmer now and he reaches out to take Steve’s hand. “I was so scared.”

“You don’t have to be. I’m okay now,” Steve assures, but he can tell that his words are not enough to ease Tony’s worried mind.

“Now you are but what if…” Tony can’t bring himself to finish that thought. The image of Steve lying motionless on the bathroom floor is still fresh in his mind. “Please, if not for me then do it for the baby. He could be affected, too.”

“He?”

Tony shrugs. “He, she. I don’t know. Just please?”

Steve sighs in defeat. “Who did you have in mind?”

* * *

Steve recognized the name, could even put a face to it now that he’s met the man a few times. The Avengers weren’t the only ones keeping the great city of New York safe from harm. Doctor Stephen Strange had assisted occasionally when the team needed an extra member, and having the Sorcerer Supreme on their side made their job a little easier.

Having Strange help out in the city was one thing, having him help out during Steve’s pregnancy was another. When Tony had said Steve should see a doctor, he thought his boyfriend meant someone who specialized in his condition. From what he’s learned about the sorcerer, he had been a doctor, but not the kind Steve could benefit from.

Tony of all people should know that, so it came as a surprise to find the Doctor in his living room.

Steve is ready to turn and walk out, but Tony is rushing over to stop him. “Hey, I know this isn’t what you had in mind but-”

“Tony, he’s not even the right kind of doctor!” Steve snaps, making sure to keep his voice low so Strange can’t hear the conversation.

“I know, but just hear me out. I know how much you hate doctors, and I figured we talk to him since he’s someone we can trust.”

“Tony, you don’t even like him.”

Tony and Strange didn’t see eye to eye half of the time, and Steve had been a witness to multiple banters between the two. It was just harmless teasing, but that didn’t mean it could eventually escalate into something else.

“I never said I didn’t like him,” Tony is quick to defend himself. “He’s just-”

“Standing right here.”

Both Steve and Tony jump at the familiar voice, completely forgetting that in fact, Doctor Strange was standing a few feet away. Judging by the expression on the Doctor’s face, Steve can tell his conversation with Tony had been heard.

“Doctor-” Steve’s words are cut off when Strange raises a hand to stop him.

“Stephen, please,” Stephen corrects.

“I appreciate you taking the time to come here but...you’re not the kind of doctor I need,” Steve says.

“I know I’m not, ” Stephen agrees, his eyes scanning over Steve. “You obviously haven’t seen a doctor, have you?”

“He has,” Tony quickly cuts in. “But _obviously_ we need a better one. Not that I’m saying that’s you.”

Stephen rolls his eyes. “Then why are you wasting my time, Stark? You and I both know I’m no help to him.”

“I’m sorry we wasted your time,” Steve apologizes. “If we need you for something else-”

“How long have you been anemic?” Stephen interrupts.

The question catches Steve off guard. “Excuse me?”

“You’re obviously suffering from anemia. The paleness of your skin gave it away. And the fact that you have a large gash along your forehead means that you must have fallen recently. You fainted.”

“I get dizzy sometimes but-”

“That’s sign of anemia. And I couldn’t help but notice the puncture mark on your right arm. You needed an IV because the vomiting has been so severe you needed fluids to replenish your body.”

“Yes…” Steve says slowly, and he turns to meet Tony’s eyes, only to redirect his gaze back to Stephen when he speaks again.

“Stark didn’t tell me much. I only know that you’ve been sick and have been too stubborn to do anything about it. If you want my advice, find a doctor,” Stephen says. He moves past Steve to leave.

Steve quickly turns around to stop him. “Wait!” He calls out and Stephen turns back to face him. “Tell me what to do. How do I fix this?”

“I just told you, Rogers. You need a doctor.”

“Stra-Stephen, you can help. I know I said you can’t, but I need someone I can trust. And that’s you.”

“I don’t practice anymore. And even if I did, I’m not qualified. I was a neurosurgeon.”

“Please?” Steve begs. “Something's wrong.”

Stephen lets out a sigh. “Alright, I’ll help you. But you’re still going to need someone who specializes in this, especially with your case.”

“Not a problem,” Tony chimes in. “Easy.”

“Are you always this cocky?”

  
Tony opens his mouth, ready to reply to the Doctor’s question with a snarky remark, but one look from Steve silences him. “I’m gonna be the bigger person here and ignore that,” he finally says.

“Good. About time,” Stephen tells him, ignoring the way Tony rolls his eyes. “Now,” he addresses Steve. “Should we get started?”

* * *

Steve hated doctors. He’s been that way for as long as he can remember, and waking up in a new century didn’t change his mindset. Medicine has evolved since his time, but it was going to take a lot for him to trust today’s doctors. They were probably a lot gentler than the ones he’s seen, but it wasn’t just their harsh treatments and bedside manner that left him with trust issues.

Their negative attitudes is what made him dislike them. He knew how bad his health complications had been, and being told by countless physicians that he didn’t stand a chance of surviving damaged his views. All his life he had to fight and prove that he was strong enough.

Now, sitting in a private room with Doctor Strange, Steve wondered if he had to prove himself again.

Stephen was already proving that he was different from the others, but Steve was still hesitant. He was supposed to trust this man. If he could trust his team and their safety with him, then trusting him with his unborn child should be easy.

Steve finds himself glancing around the room, feeling out of place surrounded by the new machines and instruments; it’s not the same as the rooms he’s used to. An uneasy feeling courses through him, and those days spent being poked and prodded return.

Tony is right beside him, intertwining their hands. It brings a comfort Steve desperately needed.

“You good, Cap?” Tony questions, using his free hand to card his fingers through Steve’s hair.

“Yeah.” Steve nods in response. Having Tony with him makes the exam easier, but his presence isn’t enough to make the nerves fully disappear.

“Relax,” Stephen tells him when Steve flinches from the cool gel he applies over his belly.

“Sorry,” Steve apologizes, and he shifts on the bed, the paper beneath him crinkling. “Doctors make me nervous.”

“You made that clear when you decided not to see one.”

Stephen moves the transducer around, and Steve’s eyes are immediately drawn to the screen beside him. The image of his baby appears and Steve can’t help but smile at the sight. He can clearly make out his baby’s tiny head and arms.

He feels his hand being squeezed and he glances over at Tony, his eyes meeting glistening brown ones.

“Wow,” Tony is the first to say, the words coming out breathless. “That’s our baby. He’s perfect.”

“I can’t tell the sex yet, Stark,” Stephen informs and Tony rolls his eyes.

“Why do you have to ruin this for me? And it’s a boy just so you know.”

Steve doesn’t pay the bantering between the Doctor and his boyfriend any mind, his attention is fully on his child. Seeing his baby on the screen is the distraction he needed, but it’s not long before those negative thoughts begin to enter his mind.

“Is the baby okay?” Steve asks. There’s a part of him that’s afraid to learn the answer, but the other half needs to know.

“Your baby appears healthy,” Stephen replies, his words bringing Steve a sense of relief. “I want to check you over, though.”

“I’m fine. The only thing that was bothering me was the morning sickness.”

“Rogers, you’re ten almost eleven weeks along; the morning sickness should be subsiding by now. The severity of your nausea is concerning. It can be treated, along with your anemia but you still face a risk of other complications. I’ve read through your file-”

“Then you should know that I don’t have any of those issues anymore. The serum took care of that.”

“Yes, but I can’t help but notice some of those issues reappearing. The anemia is normal during pregnancy, but you suffered from it before and I’m not surprised to find that you have it again. What really worries me is your heart and high blood pressure.”

“Strange, I don’t have those complications anymore. I’m fine,” Steve assures.

“Steve,” Tony joins the conversation, squeezing his hand again and their eyes meet. “Just let him check. This visit was for you.”

There was no point in fighting and with a sigh of defeat, Steve grants the Doctor permission to look him over.

The exam isn’t painful-Steve barely noticed the needle during the blood test-but it was still uncomfortable. Tony was there, comforting him in a way only he could, and for a moment Steve was able to relax.

"You nervous?" Tony asks, while they wait for Stephen to return with the results. It's been quiet between them since Stephen stepped out, an obvious indication that something was wrong with Steve.

"No," Steve answers, though it's not an honest reply. He sighs, "maybe a little. I know how this part works; I've been through it before."

"True, but back then you were the skinny guy. Now look at you." Tony laughs softly. He still notices the difference in Steve's body, and though he's not fully resembling his past self, the sudden weight loss is concerning. "You're gonna be fine, Cap," he assures.

"Yeah. If something's wrong, then the serum will do its job. It always comes through."

They fall into another silence; this was one more comfortable than the one before it. It's not until Stephen is entering with the results does the tension in the room return.

Steve can't read the Doctor's expression. In the past he was able to read the doctors; their faces giving away the results of their testing. Now, he felt as if he was being left in the dark.

"What is it?" Steve asks.

“The blood tests confirms the anemia and I’m diagnosing you with hyperemesis gravidarum,” Stephen says. He notices the way Steve tenses and he quickly adds, “They can both be managed with proper care.”

“Okay.” Steve visibly relaxes. Stephen comes closer, taking his original spot on the black stool near the bed. That’s when Steve is able to get a read on the Doctor. “There’s something else, isn’t there?”

Stephen sighs and nods his head. “The serum is interfering with the pregnancy; it’s being shared with the fetus. Right now the baby doesn’t appear in any real harm, but I’d like to monitor you both very closely.”

“So you’re saying the kid could be enhanced?” Tony asks, then he shrugs. “What’s the big deal? We can handle it.”

“I’m not worried about your child being born with enhanced abilities, Stark. What concerns me is that the serum isn’t working like it normally does.”

“You mean on me?” Steve is the next to ask. “That’s why I’m so sick, right?”

“Yes. I believe your body is reverting back to its original state.”

Steve glances down at his lap, wringing his hands together while his mind struggles to comprehend the words being said to him. “No,” he shakes his head and glances up to meet Stephen’s eyes. “This isn’t supposed to be happening.”

“It can be fixed right?” Tony questions, taking Steve’s hand back in his own to comfort his boyfriend.

“There is one way,” Stephen says.

“What? We’ll do it. Right?” Tony turns to Steve and gets a nod in response.

“It’s still early enough to terminate.”

Those words make Steve’s blood run cold and he wraps a protective hand around his belly. “I’m not going to consider that. I’m keeping this baby.”

“Steve,” Tony starts and Steve turns back to face him. “Maybe we should think about this.”

“There’s nothing to think about!” Steve snaps, ripping his hand away from Tony’s and rising to his feet. “I’m having this baby, Tony.”

“Steve-”

“No.” Steve shakes his head and leaves, slamming the door on his way out.

He takes it all back. Stephen Strange was just like the rest of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not looking good for these two. I wanted the baby to be enhanced just because, well, he eventually needs to grow up to become a Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man ;) But now poor Steve has to suffer! Well, time for me to do some more research and maybe update another fic! Hope you all liked this chapter!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm updating again, guys! It's a little on the short side, and I will try and make the next chapter longer. Enjoy!

Steve had thought he had made it perfectly clear where he stood when it came to the decision regarding their unborn child, and yet Tony was still trying to force him into a conversation they didn't need to have. The topic eventually gets dropped and Steve is able to lock himself in their bedroom for the rest of the evening.

The following morning is absolute hell. Steve finds himself on the bathroom floor; it’s not surprising anymore, but it is becoming a nuisance. He doesn’t hear Tony come look for him, and he figures his boyfriend is still upset.

It’s fine, though. Steve can take care of himself. He’s done it before.

Steve finds Tony in the kitchen serving himself a cup of coffee. Another mug is set out on the counter and Steve is ready to decline a cup, knowing that his caffeine intake needed to be in moderation.

“It’s tea,” Tony says, almost as if he could read Steve’s mind. “I heard you earlier and figured some tea might help.”

“Oh. Thanks,” Steve says, quietly.

“Here.” Tony finally makes the first move and he hands Steve the mug, then he’s leaning back against the counter and taking a sip from his own cup. They fall into an uncomfortable silence, and for a moment Steve believes they’re going to stay like this.

Steve diverts his attention elsewhere, his eyes noticing the manila envelope on the kitchen table. “What’s this?” he gestures toward the envelope.

“Pictures from yesterday. Strange printed them right after you left,” Tony answers.

Steve sets his mug down and crosses the room to retrieve the envelope, fingers carefully sliding the pictures out. He uses one finger to gently trace along his baby’s small form, his lips curving into a small smile. He was going to do everything in his power to keep his baby safe.

Stephen’s words replay in his mind, and Steve quickly rids his thoughts of the Doctor’s suggestion. There was no way that he would follow through with it. His baby came first.

“We’re not gonna talk about this?” Tony’s voice cuts through Steve’s thoughts, and he glances up to meet his boyfriend’s eyes. “You barely let me get one word out yesterday.”

“I already told you, there’s nothing to talk about,” Steve says. “I’m continuing with the pregnancy.”

“Yeah, I got that part loud and clear, Cap.”

“Then why are we still having this conversation? If you know what I want then there’s no reason to talk about it.”

“Dammit, Steve there is a reason to talk about it! Did you not hear what Strange said? The serum isn’t working on you anymore!” Tony’s losing control of his anger and his voice raises; Steve doesn’t even flinch.

“I know what he said.” Steve keeps his tone calm, not wanting to work himself up in his already fragile state. “But that’s not enough of a reason for me to not go through with this. I love this baby.”

“So do I but…” Tony sighs harshly and he runs his fingers through his hair. “But I love you more and seeing you like this...I can’t. Just knowing that it’s only going to get worse is not worth it.”

“Tony, I’ve lived through this. I know what it’s like. If you would just understand-”

“Understand? Believe me, Steve I am trying my hardest to understand why you’re willing to suffer again just for…”

“For what? Our baby? I’d do anything for this child.”

Tony huffs and shakes his head. “So you’d give up everything too? How can you continue being Captain America when you’re sick? The serum is what made you who you are!”

“The serum didn’t make me anything,” Steve says, angrily. “Taller maybe, but I’m still the same guy that I used to be.”

“Steve,” Tony sighs. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-”

“I heard you, Tony. Loud and clear.”

Steve slips the photos back into the envelope and tosses it on the table. “Maybe you should really look at those. That’s our baby that you want me to get rid of.”

“Steve-” Tony tries again, only to go ignored when Steve turns and leaves the room. Tony lets out a heavy sigh, and for a moment he wonders if he should chase after him, but he decides to give Steve space.

His eyes flicker in the direction of the envelope and he takes small steps toward it, carefully taking the photos out like Steve had done. It had been different when he saw the same exact image yesterday; his heart was full of joy and excitement, but today his heart ached.

There was still a large part of him that wanted the baby, but the other half wasn’t on the same page. All he could think about was Steve and what would happen if he were to continue with the pregnancy. It was hard to watch Steve suffer, and Tony can’t imagine witnessing Steve’s health decline while their baby thrived off the serum that was supposed to keep Steve alive.

It wasn’t fair.

Tony hates himself for considering the option to terminate, but if it came down to the baby or Steve, he would choose Steve. It was always going to be Steve.

* * *

A small groan escapes him and Steve rests his head on the toilet seat, not caring that the area isn’t sanitized. His head is throbbing, but it doesn’t compare to the ache in his belly. He doesn’t blame the baby for all of the shit he’s being put through, he blames himself and the body that was supposed to be durable and withstand anything.

When he stumbles out of the bathroom, he’s surprised to find Tony waiting for him in their shared room. He doesn’t say anything, instead ignoring Tony’s presence and crawling back into bed. Tony follows, climbing in beside him and wrapping his arms around Steve.

“I’m sorry,” Tony murmurs against the nape of Steve’s neck. “I’m sorry for everything.”

“Not your fault,” Steve tells him. He lets himself relax, having missed Tony’s touch. It’s comforting to have him so close.

Tony huffs out a laugh. “Isn’t it, though?”

Steve can’t help but smile, then his smile is faltering. He sighs, “It’s not your fault I’m sick.”

“I know, but I hate not being able to help you.” Tony pulls Steve closer, one hand falling between them and resting over the small bump under Steve’s shirt.

Steve feels the way Tony tenses behind him and he quickly brings Tony’s hand back when he tries to pull away. “I’m having this baby, Tony.”

Tony exhales sharply. “I know you want to do this, but I can’t take watching you suffer. There’s other ways for us to start a family.”

Steve shakes his head and turns so that he’s facing Tony. “We have our family right here, Tony. I’m not giving up on this baby just because it gets tough on me. My ma fought hard for me, and I’m going to do the same.”

“Even if it kills you? How can you fight for this kid if you’re dead, Steve! Fuck!” Tony explodes. He throws the blankets off and sits up, twisting his body so that he can face Steve. “You do know you could die, right? Does that mean anything to you?”

“I’m not going to die.”

“You’re so fucking stubborn, Rogers. I’d do anything for you-”

“And I would do anything for this baby. I’m sorry, Tony but it’s my decision. Not yours, not Strange’s; mine. If you don’t agree with it, then I have no problem doing this alone,” Steve says.

Tony is seething; his anger has got the best of him and he’s ready to act on that anger, but he knows a screaming match between them isn’t going to do them any good. “Steve, please?” His tone is calmer now. “I love you and I can’t lose you. I can’t.”

Steve sighs sadly and sits up, gently placing his hand over Tony’s shoulder. “I love you, too. But-”

“Don’t.” Tony shrugs Steve off and rises to his feet. “I don’t care anymore. Do what you want.”

“Tony-” Steve tries to bring him back to bed, but his attempts fall through.

“Forget it. You obviously don’t care about how this is affecting me, so leave me out of it.”

There was no point in trying to convince Tony to stay and Steve is left to watch as his boyfriend leaves. He’s tempted to try anyway and bring him back, but he quickly rids his mind of that thought. They needed some time apart.

Steve glances down at his belly, laying one hand over it and rubbing the small bump. “I’ll never hurt you.”

It was a promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate hurting these two, and it's only getting worse from here. Don't worry, Tony will come around eventually. He's just scared about losing Steve. I swear these two will work it out!


	6. Chapter 6

There’s obvious signs that Tony never came back last night. The right side of the bed is cold and Steve isn’t woken up with the familiar scent of coffee wafting through the apartment. This hasn’t been the first time Tony’s chosen his lab over the comfort of his own bed. Though their fights haven’t been as bad as the one they had last night, Steve knew what to expect.

It could take anywhere from a few hours to a whole day before Tony decided that he was willing to put aside his stubbornness, and they work things out. Steve doesn’t bother looking for his boyfriend, knowing he will come around when he’s ready. It doesn’t mean the thought of going after Tony doesn’t cross his mind; he hates when they argue, but this argument was different from the ones in the past.

Steve was willing to take partial blame for their most current fight. He knew how difficult he could be; this hadn’t been the first time he and Tony clashed over their different views. Sometimes it was easier to give in and let Tony win the fight, but this time Steve wasn’t going to let Tony believe that he had won.

Giving up on their baby was not an option in Steve’s book; he was willing to do anything and everything in his power to keep the child growing inside of him safe. The risks of continuing with the pregnancy wasn’t going to be enough to stop him. He’s been sick and on the verge of death before. This was nothing new to him.

Getting Tony to understand was a whole other issue, one that Steve wasn’t sure if he could solve. Tony had already decided that it wasn’t worth having the baby if the risks were too high. Steve understood where his boyfriend was coming from; he remembered all the times he witnessed his mother having to struggle with his health, and though she didn’t voice it out loud, he wondered if the thought of giving up ever crossed her mind.

He just had to wait for Tony to come around. It was all he could do for now.

The communal living room is already full of most of the team members when Steve decides to come down for breakfast. He’s not hungry-his stomach is still not right- but he needs to be around his teammates instead of locking himself in his apartment. The sight of him draws immediate attention and Steve is ready to start assuring his team.

“About time you joined us.” Natasha is the first to approach him. Her tone of voice is teasing, but Steve can read between the lines; she’s worried.

“Kinda overslept.” Steve offers a reassuring smile, hoping it would be enough to ease his friend’s worried mind.

Natasha is still eyeing him closely, clearly not convinced. “You’re not healing.” She makes a gesture to the cut on his forehead and Steve’s hand flies up to the spot. “That’s not normal, Steve.”

Steve rubs his fingers along the scab. If the serum had been working properly, the cut would have faded in a matter of hours. “I’m fine,” he tells her, deciding now wasn’t the time to discuss the news Doctor Strange had broken to him.

“You’re still a terrible liar.”

“I know.”

Natasha’s lips curve into a small grin and she reaches out to place a hand over his shoulder. “Just be careful, Steve. This team needs you.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Nat,” Steve promises. He wonders if Tony had beat him to it and told the team about the issues with the serum, but when Natasha doesn’t ask anymore questions, Steve forgets about it and follows her to the small kitchen.

He stays away from the coffee, but the bacon is a little harder to ignore. This time his stomach isn't protesting and Steve is able to keep down two strips. It’s not much, but it’s enough to keep his teammates from giving him a hard time.

“Where’s your other half?” Bucky questions once they all settle comfortably on the sofas.

Steve shifts in the arm chair, doing his best to keep his expression unreadable. “Probably in the lab. You know how Tony is,” Steve says, hoping his answer is enough to drop the topic. Tony is the last person he wants to talk about right now.

“You never told us how your visit with that Strange guy went,” Sam says. “You doing okay, Cap?”

Steve nods. “Yeah, I’m good. Just trying to get through this next bit.”

Steve can tell that his friends want to ask more questions, but they must sense that he’s not in the mood to answer any of them and they quickly direct the conversation in a different direction. Steve keeps to himself, making sure to comment or nod along every now and then to keep his teammates from growing suspicious.

It’s not until Steve feels a new presence in the room does he glance up, his eyes landing on the person missing from the group. Tony is in the kitchen, serving himself a cup of coffee, and it’s not until he decides to come over does his eyes flicker in Steve’s direction. The tension between them is immediately noticed by the rest of the team.

Tony doesn’t take his usual spot beside Steve, instead deciding to keep some distance from him and lingering around the couch closer to the kitchen. He’s quiet, which is highly unusual for him and it doesn’t go unnoticed.

“You’re quiet this morning,” Natasha comments, raising her mug up to her lips and sipping the hot beverage.

“I just have a lot on my mind,” Tony answers, coolly. “But I’m sure no one cares about what I think.”

Steve’s jaw tenses and he glances down. It would be so easy to respond, but that’s what Tony is wanting and Steve is done participating in their fight.

“Look, if you two are fighting then keep us out of it,” Sam says.

“Maybe having you guys involved is a good idea. I’m sure Steve will listen to you.”

This time Steve has to speak up, and he raises his head to lock eyes with Tony’s angry ones. “Tony, that’s enough. Don’t drag them into this.”

“Why not, Cap? Don’t they deserve to know that their Captain is willing to throw everything away-”

“Tony, enough.”

“What’s going on?” Bruce asks, eyes darting back and forth between his friends.

“Oh he didn’t tell you?” Tony addresses the team this time. “I shouldn’t be surprised. Steve does like to keep things to himself.”

“Tony-” Steve tries again, only to go ignored when Tony continues.

“He’s not fine. Whatever he’s told you has been nothing but bullshit. The baby’s killing him, well actually, the serum is. Ironic isn’t it? The thing that is supposed to be keeping him alive is slowly killing him.”

The silence that follows is unbearable. Steve can’t meet his team's eyes, and he keeps his own cast down, but their gaze is burning.

“Steve.” It’s Bucky’s voice that forces Steve to glance up. The look on his friend’s face nearly kills him. “Is this true?”

“Yeah.” There was no point in lying; his secret was out. All thanks to Tony. “It was confirmed yesterday,” Steve continues.

“Dammit,” Sam curses. “You told us-”

“I know. I’m sorry, Sam. I was going to tell all of you...at the right time.” Steve makes sure to look over in Tony’s direction when he says those last words. He turns back to his team. “Can you give us a minute?”

No one protests and they leave the room, no doubt relieved to be free from the tension. With their teammates gone, Tony doesn’t hold back.

“I can’t believe you were lying to them, too. I guess once you start you just can’t stop.”

“I was going to tell them. You had no right-”

“I had no right? I have every fucking right, Steve! You can’t just make these decisions without considering my feelings!”

They weren’t talking about their friends anymore.

“Tony, I have taken your feelings into consideration-” Steve starts and Tony scoffs. “-but I’m going through with this.”

“Of course you are. You don’t care about me at all.”

“Don’t make me choose.”

“Why not? You’re making me choose. You’re just gonna get worse, Cap. And I’m sorry but I can’t take watching you suffer like this,” Tony says.

“Then don’t. You’re not obligated to do this with me. You don’t want this baby anyway.”

Tony grows silent. Steve doesn’t miss the way his eyes shine with tears. “You’re the one thing I can’t live without and...and knowing that I could lose you…”

Steve rises to his feet, the sudden urge to comfort Tony becoming too much, and he rushes toward him the second he catches the tear rolling down Tony’s face. “You’re not going to lose me, Tony. It’s going to take a lot more than this to take me down, and even then you know I’ll keep fighting.”

Tony sniffs and quickly brushes the tear away. “You’re so damn stubborn.”

“I know I am. That’s why I’m still here.”

“If you do this...if we do this, then I need you to promise me that you will keep fighting until you come out the winner. I can’t lose you.”

“I promise.” Steve cups Tony’s face, gently brushing away the tears that continue to fall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was going to stretch out their fight a little longer, but honestly, it's about time these two made up. That doesn't mean they're out of the woods yet! More drama is coming their way, and it's going to be difficult for Steve to keep his promise to Tony. I will update soon! Thank you so much for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for it taking a while for me to update! I got stuck and was trying to figure out what needed to happen in this chapter. I appreciate everyone's patience and kind words :)

The way the news had been broken was not the original plan. Steve knew better than to keep his teammates in the dark, and he had planned to let them in on the issue once he had gained better control of it. That plan was of course altered when Tony decided to blurt it out without even thinking.

Tony was still kicking himself over that incident, and he wished he could go back and start over. He gets another chance the following day when he’s calmed down enough to inform the team of Steve’s condition.

The team is called for a meeting. They don’t meet in the communal area, instead gathering in the conference room that Tony is pretty sure they’ve really only used once.

Tony had already ripped the bandage off, but there were still more information that their friends needed to be aware of. Tony let’s Steve talk, deciding that his mouth needed to be shut after the incident yesterday.

The room is in complete silence once Steve explains the situation. It makes Tony uncomfortable, and he shifts in his seat, glancing around at the troubled expressions on his teammates faces. Steve notices too and he clears his throat, deciding to be the first to end the silence.

“I don’t know why everyone is upset about this,” Steve says, earning a few glances from his friends. “I’m going to beat this.”

The room falls silent again.

Tony understands their hesitation. He isn’t entirely convinced that Steve can overcome this, and as much as he hates to admit it, that second option is still filed away in the back of his mind.

“How do you know?” It’s Bucky who asks the first question.

“Because I’m not giving up. You know what I’ve been through, Buck. This is nothing.”

“Do you have options?” Bruce asks next. “Is there anything Strange can do?”

“He did give us one,” Tony can feel Steve’s burning gaze on him while he answers. “Terminating the pregnancy.”

“But I’m not going through with it,” Steve says firmly, one hand falling to his growing bump.

“Maybe you should.”

Steve glances in Bucky’s direction, not believing the words. “Buck, not you too.”

“I’m sorry, Steve,” Bucky quickly apologizes. “But if it comes down to it and a choice needs to be made, I’m choosing you, pal. I’m sorry.”

“Out of everyone I thought I’d have your support, but I guess I was wrong.” Steve rises to his feet, and Tony reaches for his hand, stopping him from leaving.

“Cap, we’re just worried,” Tony says.

“Well no one needs to be.” Those words are directed at everyone. Steve rips his hand free from Tony’s grasp and leaves the room.

It’s silent again.

Natasha sighs harshly and stands. “Why am I always cleaning up after you boys?” She scowls, then she’s rushing after Steve.

Bucky lets out a sigh and leaned back in his chair. “Well, now I feel like an asshole.”

“You should,” Sam tells him. “You’re supposed to be his best friend.”

“I can’t be the only one feeling this way, right?” Bucky asks the rest of the group.

“Nope,” Tony says. “Believe it or not but I’m on your side.”

“Hold up,” Sam holds up his hand and Tony glances in his direction. “You’re not supporting him? The guy that’s carrying your child? No, the guy that’s _suffering_ to carry your child? That’s messed up, Stark.”

“You know I don’t remember asking for your input,” Tony says, coolly.

“Tony, you did,” Bruce reminds him. “Yesterday you wanted us involved.”

“Yeah, well now I change my mind.”

“You want my input, Stark?” Sam says. “I’m following him. Whatever he chooses to do.”

Tony opens his mouth, ready to fire back but Bruce is interrupting and silencing him.

“Tony, Sam’s right. It’s Steve’s choice.”

“You don’t think I know that?” Tony snaps, and with a huff he leans back in his chair. “I know it’s his choice, but I can’t let him do this. Not when I know there’s a good chance that he won’t come out of this. He says he can but...I don’t know.”

“He needs us,” Sam says. “And I don’t know about the rest of you,” Sam continues and he stands. “But I’m with him and you all should be too.”

With three members of the team gone, there was no point in continuing the meeting. “Great talk everyone,” Tony says, then he’s leaving the room in search of his boyfriend.

It’s not hard to find him; Steve hadn’t gone far and he’s in the hallway with Natasha and Sam. He seems calmer, but Tony knows he will go off again if provoked.

“Hey, Cap,” Tony greets, and his eyes flicker in the direction of his two teammates. “Can you guys give us a minute? It’d be great.”

Sam is hesitant to leave Steve side, but with someone reassurance from his Captain, he backs off and follows Natasha back to the conference room.

“That didn’t go as I expected,” Steve is the first to say. “I’m sorry for leaving. When Buck said…”

Tony doesn’t miss the way his blue eyes filled with betrayal, and he decides to leave out the part where he agrees with Barnes. “It’s okay,” he says instead, hoping his words are reassuring enough. “We’re just worried about you, Cap.”

“I know. But I’m going to be fine. Trust me, I’ve been through worse.”

Tony sighs. “Steve, I know what I said but to be honest I’m still scared. Believe me I want this to work but I gotta tell you I’m not sure how it will.”

“I don’t know either.”

“Then maybe…” Tony trails off and takes Steve’s hand into his own. “Maybe we should stop this. Strange said it’s early enough and-”

“I was five.”

“What?”

“I was five,” Steve repeats. “I remember hearing the doctor tell my mother that it was only going to get harder and that she should just let me…” Steve’s eyes shine with tears and Tony wants nothing more than to pull him close.

“She could have gave up and let me die, but she didn’t. All my life I’ve had people tell me that I wasn’t strong enough. My mother is the one who always told me to get back up, to keep fighting. I’m not going to stop now.”

Tony sighs sadly. “Steve, I still think we should really think this through. I know you want this baby and there’s a part of me that wants it too but-”

“You had been excited. Before Strange mentioned anything, you were happy to be a father. And now that’s it’s getting difficult you’re ready to give up.”

“I’m not giving up. Dammit, Steve I’m just trying to make you understand how I’m feeling! How long are we going to keep having this same fight!”

“You tell me. Just yesterday you were on my side.”

“I still am, Cap. I just…” Tony sighs again. “I just want to talk about this, without it turning into another fight. Can we at least do that?”

“There’s no guarantee it will help. We obviously have different views on this. Tony, we’re not always going to see eye to eye on things, and I get that, but this...this was something I was hoping you’d see my way,” Steve says.

“I’m trying. I’m trying so hard to understand why you’re willing to sacrifice everything. If this is your way of trying to prove that-”

“I’m not trying to prove anything. God, Tony for once can you listen to what I’m trying to say!”

“Then tell me, Steve! What is the fucking point of suffering through this! Why do you want to be miserable all over again!”

“Because I would do anything for my child!” Steve’s eyes widen and he chokes back a sob. He’s heard those words before, but they had come from his mother’s mouth.

The tears he’s been trying to keep at bay escape, creating wet tracks as they travel down his face. Tony moves to comfort him, wrapping his arms around Steve and pulling him close. He expects Steve to push him away, but Steve allows the embrace.

“Honey, I’m sorry,” Tony apologizes. “God, Steve I’m so sorry. I’m making this worse for you.”

Steve sniffs and pulls back so that their eyes can meet. “I just wish you’d understand,” he says, and he reaches for Tony’s hand, dragging it toward his growing middle. “This is your baby too. You can’t give up, Tony.”

Tony doesn’t pull his hand away, instead exploring the bump that continues to grow everyday. His baby was right there, underneath his fingertips. He should be over the moon excited about the life both he and Steve created, but knowing that Steve was going to suffer just to bring that life into the world was all he could focus on.

“Don’t blame the baby.” Steve can practically read Tony’s mind; he knew him so well. “It’s me. It’s my body that’s doing this. If you want to blame anyone, then blame me.”

“Steve, tell me what to do. I don’t want to lose you and I don’t want to keep doing this. I feel no matter what, I’m always going to lose you in the end. Just tell me what to do.” Tony pleads, his own eyes welling with tears.

“Don’t give up on me. Don’t be like everyone else from my past.”

It sounded simple enough, but deep down Tony knew it was going to be a difficult task. He had to try, though. For Steve. He’d do anything for Steve.

* * *

It’s weeks later when they find themselves back in that private room where it started it all. Tony’s learning to behave around the Doctor, though there are times when he wants to punch the man in the face. Steve won’t allow it. Pregnant or not, he was going to put a stop to Tony’s childish behavior.

At this point, Steve already knows the drill and he climbs up on the exam bed before Stephen can instruct him. He lifts up his shirt, exposing the bump that isn’t so small anymore. The cool gel that is applied is still the one thing he hasn’t gotten used to and he can’t help but flinch.

Tony takes his hand, intertwining their fingers and bringing their joined hands up to his lips, placing a soft kiss to Steve’s knuckles. “You good, Cap?” He asks.

“Yeah,” Steve answers and this time it’s an honest reply. The medication Stephen had provided was working effectively; his morning sickness was now under control as well as the anemia. Though there were times when he still found himself rushing toward the bathroom, it wasn’t as frequent or as severe.

Things were starting to look up.

“You look better.” Stephen tears his eyes away from the screen to give Steve a quick look over, then he’s turning away to focus on the ultrasound.

“I feel better. Well, better than before. Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet, Rogers. You’re not cleared yet. I still want to monitor you both closely.”

Steve shifts on the bed and tries to get a look at the screen. “Is the baby okay?”

“Baby’s doing fine. If I can get a better image I should be able to find out the gender. Do you want to know?” Stephen asks, stilling the hand he has on the transducer. When he gets a nod from his patient he turns the screen toward the new parents and reveals the gender. “It’s a boy. Congratulations.”

Steve gasps, eyes landing on the image of his baby-his son. “It’s a boy,” he repeats, in awe. He’s turning to face Tony, smiling widely and eyes bright. “We have a son.”

“Yeah,” Tony smiles, his own eyes sparkling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a boy! But of course you all knew that ;) Well, it looks like things are starting to look up, but if you all know me... Anyway, I will get started on the next bit and hopefully have it up soon! Thank you for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

The picture in his hand is all Tony can focus on. He can hear Strange talking and the sound of Steve’s voice chiming in every now and then, but the words are going in one ear and out the other. For the first time in weeks, Steve wasn’t the one occupying his thoughts. The baby-his son-is the only thing he can think about.

He was having a boy. A little boy with Steve’s eyes and his brain; that is the image his brain conjures up while he stares intently at the black and white picture of his son. It’s too soon to start commenting on his features, but he already knows that their baby was going to take after Steve. He already had the same stubborn and fighting attitude.

Tony smiles at the thought of having a mini version of his boyfriend running around. It was going to be a lot of work to keep that kid in check, but Tony was willing to do anything for his son.

His smile falters as he realizes that he had already broken that promise. Just weeks ago he was doing everything in his power to convince Steve to terminate the pregnancy, to end their son’s life. He hates himself now for having those thoughts. It wasn’t his son’s fault that Steve was suffering, and he decides to add to his promise. He was going to do anything and everything to keep both Steve and his son safe.

Tony is snapped from his thoughts from the pressure in his hand, and he glances down, finding Steve’s own hand grasping his and applying the pressure. It’s supposed to be a gentle squeeze, but Tony’s learned to recognize the difference. And it’s not until he’s peering up to connect their eyes does he notice the concern in Steve’s.

“What?” Tony asks, his eyes darting back and forth between Steve and Strange. “What did I miss?”

“The baby is healthy,” Stephen replies, and Tony’s shoulders sag in relief. That was good.

“Okay.” Tony nods and glances at Steve again; the concern is still there. He turns back to Strange. “Then what’s the issue this time? Is the anemia back?”

“That’s under control for the time being. It’s his weight.”

“The baby’s? You said-”

“Your son is fine,” Stephen assures, his tone firm. He’s getting annoyed. “Steve’s is low.”

“It’s probably the serum,” Steve finally adds to the conversation. His voice is thick, and Tony recognizes that tone, too. He’s on the verge of tears. “I was small back then.”

“I don’t want to assume it’s the serum just yet,” Stephen starts. “The decrease in weight could be from the severity of your morning sickness. I’ll keep a close eye on it.”

Steve nods, but there’s still a bit of uncertainty in his eyes.

“Hey, it’s gonna be fine,” Tony assures, giving Steve’s hand that gentle squeeze. “We just gotta get your weight up; it’s easy. I can have Happy bring you cheeseburgers.”

Steve smiles softly, appreciating Tony’s way of trying to make light of the situation.

Strange leaves after that, and for the first time, they don’t feel like the visit had been completely negative. The weight issue was concerning, but nothing that couldn’t be fixed. They don’t dwell on the negativity. Their son was healthy; that’s all that mattered.

“We gonna tell the team?” Tony asks, while he waits for Steve to get presentable. There’s still a dollop of goo on his lower belly that needs cleaning and Tony crosses the room to grab some paper towels.

“Thanks.” Steve takes the wad of brown paper and wipes the gel away, grimacing slightly when he smears some of it on his t-shirt. "Yeah, we better," he finally answers Tony's question.

Tony’s eyes are glued to the swell of Steve’s belly, and he can’t help the smile that appears over his face. Steve has taken notice and he raises a questioning brow, and he glances down at the obvious bump then back up at his boyfriend’s smiling face.

“You that happy, huh?” Steve’s own lips curve into a smile. He hadn’t seen Tony get this excited for their baby.

“I guess I am. I was also right about it being a boy,” Tony says.

“I don’t remember you mentioning anything about us having a boy.”

Tony bites down on his bottom lip. He sighs, “Well, it’s crossed my mind. I guess I’ve been thinking too negatively about this whole thing.”

“How do you feel about it now?” There’s a part of Steve that doesn’t want to know the answer, but after seeing the way Tony’s face lit up at the sight of their son gave Steve hope that Tony was coming around.

“Honestly, I’m still scared. I’m always gonna worry about you, Cap. I feel like the worst father in the world for even suggesting that you…” Tony can’t even finish that thought. His eyes burn with tears. “I wanted to be a better dad and I-”

“Tony, you’re not a horrible father,” Steve assures and Tony scoffs. “You’re not. I get why you thought the way you did. If it was reversed I might have considered it, too. I can’t lose you either.”

Tony sighs. “I still hate myself for it. I screwed up, Steve and I don’t know why you’re even still with me.”

“Because I love you. Even if you can be an idiot sometimes.”

“You’re not perfect either, Cap. Lying to me was not your best move.”

Steve huffs out a laugh. “If it helps, I hate myself for that.”

Tony smiles and reaches for the crumpled paper in Steve’s hand, tossing it in the nearest trash can. Then he’s offering his hand. “Come on. We have to tell the team. God knows they’re probably going insane waiting for us.”

“They probably made bets,” Steve says, grunting softly when Tony pulls him to his feet. “You want to tell Nat that she’s not getting a little girl to spoil?”

“Nah. I’m saving that one for you.”

Tony takes the pictures and Steve’s hand, then together they’re leaving to break the exciting news to their teammates.

* * *

There’s a chorus of cheers and groans when the team learns that a baby boy would be joining them in a few months time. Natasha frowns and crosses her arms over her chest, muttering something about the team having enough boys on it. It’s Bucky who’s groaning; he made a bet with Sam, and it was clear by the smile on Sam’s face that he had won.

“Told ya,” Sam pokes Bucky playfully in the chest, chuckling when Bucky growls and shoves him away. “Pay up, man. A bets a bet.”

Bucky grumbles. “Fuck you, Sam.”

Steve shakes his head as he watches his friends bicker. He rubs at his belly, smiling at the thought of his son nestled safely inside. Another hand joins his and he glances up, meeting Natasha’s smiling face.

“How does it feel knowing you’re carrying the next Stark generation?” Natasha smirks.

Steve makes a face. “Now when you say it like that…”

“I’m sure this kid will be fine.” Natasha rubs her hand over the bump. “A girl would have been cute, though. Next time, right?”

“I don’t know. This one has been...well, you know how it’s been.”

“I know. But you’ll be fine. I’ve seen worse things happen to you.”

Steve smiles. “I guess I have done some pretty stupid things in the past, huh?”

“Try a lot,” Bucky joins the conversation. He offers an unsure smile. “Can we talk for a sec?”

Steve nods and tries to stand up from the couch, but Bucky won’t let him do it on his own and he offers a hand. They make their way to the edge of the room, stopping at the stop of the stairs, and Steve figures Bucky won’t let him even attempt to go down them.

“You okay?” Steve asks when he catches the shadow of guilt flicker across his best friend’s face.

“Not really. I still feel like an asshole for not taking your side,” Bucky says.

“Hey, I’ve already forgotten about it.”

“I haven’t. You’re my best friend and I always promised to follow you. Till the end of the line, remember?”

“Buck, this isn’t the end of the line.”

“It felt like that to me.” Bucky sighs sadly. “I know now that you’re going to be stubborn and fight this, but for a split second I thought I was going to lose you again.”

“You’re not going to lose me. I can beat this. I promise.” Steve hopes his words offer his friend some reassurance. They must offer some, because Bucky sends him a small smile.

“I know you will. The Steve Rogers I know never backed down from a fight, even if it was a hell of a lot bigger than him.”

“Don’t worry,” Steve places his hand over Bucky’s shoulder. “I’m with you till the end of the line.”

“You better be, punk. So…” Bucky trails off, his eyes flickering in the direction of Steve’s growing middle. “A boy, huh? If this kid is anything like you and Stark, we’re all in for it.”

Steve chuckles and lays a hand over his belly. “He’ll be a good kid. But his stubbornness might be a little hard to ignore.”

“So is yours, pal.”

“I guess it is. But I wouldn’t be here without it.”

Bucky nods. “True. Better keep it up then.”

Steve smiles. “I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing too dramatic in this one. I really just wanted to focus on Tony starting to come around and then Bucky apologizing. He of all people should have Steve's back. I wish I could say it's get better from here, but...yeah. I will update soon!


	9. Chapter 9

The serum had changed many things about him, some more obvious than others. He was taller and stronger, something he had never imagined ever becoming. His health issues were now a thing of the past, or at least they were supposed to be.

He wasn’t supposed to be sick anymore. The serum made sure to improve his body and make him the definition of perfection. But perfection didn’t exist. Even for a super soldier.

Staring in the mirror, Steve can only see the skinny guy; it’s a reflection he hadn’t seen in some time. And one he’d never think to see again. The new changes had been subtle at first and you’d miss them if you weren’t looking for them, but Steve knew exactly what to look for. Now he was sure it wasn’t just him taking notice.

He’s still taller than his past self; his height had yet to be affected, and Steve hopes it never does. He’s thinned out, the only bit of weight he has is all in his middle. At least his son is still growing. But he’s shrinking and there was no telling when it would stop.

He hopes it all ends after he’s done with the pregnancy.

Hope. It was a word he knew well, having lived by its meaning for most of his life. His mother was always praying for hope when times were tough. He prayed for it, too; hoping that by some miracle he’d survive growing up, survive serving his country.

Now, he was having to rely on it again.

His hands caress the bump, a smile spreading across his face at the thought of his son. That simple life he had wanted for so long was never going to be a reality, and over the years he’s learned to accept that. Simple was the last word he’d use to describe his life now; being an Avenger made sure that his life was nothing but chaotic. He wouldn’t have it anyway.

Now that he had a baby to look forward to, the only thing in his life that mattered was his son and he would do anything to keep him safe. For as long as he could remember, he was always putting others before himself and now was proving to be no different. His son came before him.

Steve gives himself one last look in the mirror, deciding right then and there that he wasn't going to worry about himself. He could overcome this. He still had hope.

He doesn’t bother going back to bed, knowing there was no point when he’d just end up awake again anyway. Without the warmth of his boyfriend, it was almost impossible to sleep.

It’s easy to find Tony these days; his time in the lab have been cut short, and instead he does his best to keep a close eye on Steve. He hasn’t fully forgiven himself for not being there when Steve needed him most.

He’s lounging on the sofa with his Starkpad in his lap. He hadn’t bothered turning on the light, deciding that the light the tablet gave off was enough. Tony snaps his head up at the sound of shuffling feet, concern written on his face as he watches Steve come over.

“You okay, Cap?” Tony sets his tablet to the side, no longer interested in his project. Steve came first.

“Yeah.” Steve offers a small smile of reassurance and takes the empty spot near Tony. “I was going to ask you the same thing.”

“You know me and my inability to sleep. I didn’t want to wake you so I came out here. Why are you up?”

“The same; couldn’t sleep. My back is killing me and…” Steve shifts in his seat, wincing slightly from the discomfort brought on from the extra weight in his protruding middle. “Your son loves to put pressure on my bladder.”

“My son?” Tony quirks a brow. “So when he’s a brat he’s my son?”

“Definitely. I think he gets it from you.”

“And I’m pretty sure the stubbornness was something you passed down to him.”

Steve chuckles and shifts again, this time scooting closer to Tony. “I won’t deny that, but I think it’s safe to say we can both be a little bull-headed.”

“Yeah.” Tony agrees and he wraps one arm around Steve’s shoulder, gently bringing him closer. He uses his free hand to take the tablet back into his lap and continue his browsing.

“What are you working on?” Steve asks, craning his neck to get a peek of the project.

“Nothing special,” Tony replies, not taking his eyes away from the screen. “Just something for the kid.”

“Nothing special, huh? Why do I feel like you’re up to something?”

“Because I’m always up to something, Cap. Come on, you should know this by now. Actually, I swear it’s nothing bad. Just some designs for his room.”

Those words catch Steve off guard. Hearing that Tony was working on future plans for their son was something Steve never expected. Back when Tony was still upset about the difficulties the pregnancy was causing, the only plan he had regarding their son was negative in every way imaginable. Now he was different, his views were changing and he was starting to come around.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Tony says, this time turning away from the screen to give Steve his full attention. “I guess you can say I changed my mind. Wow that sounds awful. He’s my kid and the fact that I had to change my mind about him sounds so…”

“Tony, it’s okay.”

“It’s not. I never should have tried to push you into...well, you know. I just got scared and wondered if it would be worth it knowing that I could lose you in the end.”

“Tony, stop. I told you it would all be okay. It’s going to take a lot more to bring me down. I’m going to be fine,” Steve assures. Tony still doesn’t appear convinced. “I know I kept things from you, things that I probably should have told you, but the truth is...I’m scared, too.”

“I kinda figured. You keep reassuring everyone else, but I think a lot of that reassurance was for yourself. Do you really believe that you can beat this?”

“I…” Steve sighs. “I don’t know. I’m hoping I can and I promise I will do whatever it takes-”

“Don’t,” Tony interrupts. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep. I need you, Cap.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Tony lets out a sigh and pulls Steve close, and places a kiss to the top of his head. The silence that surrounds them stretches on longer than they both know it should. Tony’s still using his tablet as a way to distract himself, and Steve is ready to gain his boyfriend’s attention again, but a soft nudge from inside him steals that attention away.

Steve gasps in surprise and shifts, the sudden movement startling Tony. “Steve? Cap, what’s wrong?” Tony asks, panic lacing his tone.

“The baby...he moved.” Steve gasps again when the feeling returns and he reaches for Tony’s hand, leading it to the spot where their son was moving. “Do you feel that?”

“I don’t…” Tony trails off, frowning slightly when he can’t feel anything. Then a soft push against his hand has his eyes widening in surprise. He smiles. “Holy shit, Steve that’s him.”

Steve smiles. “Yeah, that’s our son.”

Tony’s smile falters, a soft sigh leaving his lips and he pulls his hand away. “There’s no glow,” Tony says, his voice quiet that Steve was sure he would have missed it if not for his enhanced hearing.

“What?” Steve asks with furrowed brows, not fully understanding what Tony is referring to.

“There’s no glow. I read so much about it when you first told me that you were pregnant and I haven’t seen it on you yet. I thought I did once but…”

“You just can’t see it yet, Tony. It’s there.” Steve takes Tony’s hand and places it over his belly, allowing him to feel the small flutters inside. “It’s right here; he’s the glow.”

“Yeah...I guess he is huh?” That smile is slowly starting to appear again. Tony keeps his hand over the place where his son is kicking, frowning when the activity dies down. “I guess he’s done.”

“Talk to him.”

The suggestion should be simple, and if it wasn’t for the fact that he still hated himself for considering the idea of ending his son's life, then he would be able to say a few words to his son. Tony swallows hard, still unsure of what to say or if he should say anything at all.

“Steve-” Tony starts, ready to suggest he do something else, but then a soft push against his palm diverts his attention back to his son and he finds himself adjusting his position until he’s leaning near Steve’s growing belly. With both hands cradling the bump, he quietly begins speaking to his son.

“Hey, kiddo. I’m gonna be honest with you, but I don’t really know what I’m doing here. I’m sorry for…” Tony can’t bring himself to say those words. All he wants is for his son to know how much he loves him. Tony smiles and presses a kiss to the bump. “I love you. So much."

It’s tempting to fall asleep just like this-beside Steve and his son, but Tony knows what little comfort the luxurious sofa offers Steve these days. There should be some kind of resistance when Tony offers his hand and pulls Steve to his feet, but much to his surprise, it doesn’t take a lot of effort.

Tony bites down hard on his lip, not wanting to voice his concerns and ruin the one peaceful moment they’ve had in a while. He gives Steve a look over, doing everything that he can to keep the comments on his size to himself. Steve still resembles the one Tony knew so well, but it was obvious that Steve’s past was coming back to haunt him.

Sleep doesn’t come to him-not that Tony was really expecting it to. He can’t remember the last time he really had a good night's sleep. It was always a difficult task for him, but ever since learning about the pregnancy and how miserable Steve was because of it, sleep was the last thing on Tony’s mind. If he could stay awake all night to keep a close eye on Steve then he was going to do it.

He does that now, lying silently on his side as he watches Steve sleep peacefully. Without the stubborn morning sickness to interrupt him during the night, this has probably been the most sleep Steve has gotten in a while.

Tony reaches over to brush away the strands of hair that have fallen in Steve’s face, smiling softly as he studies the peaceful expression that Steve wears. He uses those same fingers to caress Steve’s cheek, only stilling his movements when Steve stirs. His eyes flicker down to the bump that’s nestled between them, and he places his palm over the spot where his son had been kicking before. He leaves it there and finally drifts off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter wasn't anything spectacular. I've been struggling with it. I do want to play around with more of Steve's past health issues and then of course have him give birth. Let me know if you want to see any fluffy scenes or something. I need some inspiration! I will try and update soon!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys! I was up at 5 AM writing this thing and I'm so happy I get to update it again! A lot of the comments I received helped me and I thank every single one of you! This chapter is of course angsty and was supposed to have some fluff, but my brain wasn't having it so this is the result!

Tony should have known that sleep wasn’t going to give him that escape from reality that he desperately needed. During the day he was constantly plagued with the thought of losing Steve, and now he was learning that at night he’s experiencing the same thing, especially in his dreams. There was no escaping the fears that he had.

The dream had been so real to the point that Tony needs to reach over to make sure that Steve is still there beside him. Relief washes over him when he finds his boyfriend still fast asleep and not lying lifeless in a puddle of his own blood.

Tony squeezes his eyes shut, hoping to rid his mind of the horrible vision he was forced to experience while he slept. He blames his constant worrying for the nightmare, and he does his best to remind himself that it wasn’t real. Steve wasn’t going to die. He promised he wouldn’t.

There was no point in attempting to sleep, and Tony sits up and throws his legs over the edge, using the heel of hand to rub the sleep from his eyes. With a yawn, he pushes himself off the bed and disappears to the living room.

His tablet is still sitting on the coffee table and he decides to finish the designs for their son’s room. Not wanting to leave Steve’s side after experiencing the worst nightmare of his life, he grabs his tablet and heads back to the bedroom.

Tony stops in the entryway when his ears pick up an unusual sound. His eyes have adjusted to the darkness and he can make out Steve’s sleeping form, but something was off. Steve shouldn’t be making noises like that.

He’s wheezing and his breathing is fast-too fast for Tony’s liking. Tony rushes over the second he realizes that Steve can’t breathe, the tablet slipping from his hands and falling to the floor. He doesn’t care about the piece of technology. Steve came first.

“Steve, honey, wake up.” Tony gently shakes his shoulder and Steve wakes with a gasp, his eyes widen in panic and he reaches out to grasp Tony’s arm. He’s still having difficulty breathing, his chest falling and rising rapidly while he struggles to get air into his lungs. It’s a terrifying sight.

“You’re okay, Cap.” Tony soothes, doing his best to keep his own panic out of his tone. He gently eases Steve up and instructs him to take slow, deep breaths.

Steve is still hyperventilating, the grip he has on Tony tightening. His mouth falls open and shut when he tries to speak; Tony quickly shushes him.

“Just breathe. In and out. In and out. Good.”

The first breath Steve takes is shaky, but they get calmer the more he follows Tony’s instructions. It takes a couple of minutes to get Steve calm and his breathing under control.

“To-ny,” the way Steve says his name is broken, but it’s a relief all in itself to hear.

“Hey.” Tony smiles softly, reaching out to cup Steve’s face in his hands. “You good now?”

Steve nods his head. “I think so.”

“Good. You scared the hell out of me, Cap. Especially after…” Tony doesn’t finish that thought, not wanting to explain that he had just dreamt of Steve dying and then having to wake up to him not breathing in his sleep. 

“I didn’t think I would experience that again,” Steve says, his brows slightly furrowing. “After the serum, I didn’t need to worry about my asthma. Now though…”

“Hey.” Tony drops both hands from Steve’s face to take Steve’s hand instead. “It’s okay. We can get it under control. We’ve done it so far with everything else. This is just a new one added to the list.”

Steve bites down on his bottom lip, fighting the urge to mention how long of a list they’re going to have.

“I’m gonna call Strange and have him look you and the baby over.” Steve nods and Tony leans in to press a kiss to the top of his head. He lets his lips linger there a little longer, wanting to feel Steve for as long as he possibly can.

It takes a moment for him to convince himself that Steve will be fine while he makes a phone call. But after the nightmare and the attack, Tony is hesitant to leave Steve’s side.

Whatever he needs to do to keep Steve safe, he’ll do it. Steve came first.

* * *

Hearing that their baby was doing okay after Steve’s asthma attack is relieving. But knowing that they could keep Steve’s asthma under control is even better news. Tony never wants to see him struggling to breathe again.

Though the visit with Strange offers some much needed relief and good news, Tony still follows the Doctor out to speak with him.

“He’s getting worse, isn’t he?” Tony jumps right in. When Strange doesn’t respond right away, it proves that Tony was right.

“Stark,” Stephen sighs. “Don’t jump to conclusions. There’s still a possibility that the serum will work the way it’s supposed to.”

“Hmm really? Because I remember you saying that the only way that would happen was if he terminated. Well guess what, Doc, it’s too late for that option isn’t it?”

“Once the pregnancy is over-”

Tony scoffs and shakes his head. “You really believe he can last that long? Look what happened! What’s been happening! He’s reverting back to his pre-serum state just like you said he would, and you can’t even help him. I never should have trusted you to take care of the one thing I care most about.”

“I’m doing my best here, Stark. Do you really believe that I like watching my patient suffer? I know a lot can’t be done for him and I’m sorry, but I’m not going to give up on him. Obviously others before me have-”

“Oh so now you’re trying to be better them? And I thought my ego was huge.”

“I’m trying to give him a chance. There’s no guarantee that my efforts will succeed, but I’m willing to finish this with him.”

“If he dies,” Tony steps closer until he’s in the Doctor’s face. “You’re gonna wish you did more.”

He doesn’t allow the Doctor to get the last word in, and he returns to the room, already feeling guilty for leaving Steve’s side. Steve glances up at him, and Tony knows by the look he’s receiving that Steve heard the conversation.

“How much of that did you hear?” Tony asks.

Steve lets out a sigh before answering, “Enough. You’re scared.”

“You’re damn right I’m scared. Steve, what happened tonight-”

“Was harmless-”

“Harmless? You couldn’t fucking breathe! I thought you weren’t going to snap out of it and then my nightmare would…” Tony pauses, the images of Steve dying flashed in his mind. “I dreamt you had died and then you couldn’t breathe and I-God, Steve, I’m fucking terrified.”

“I am, too. But I can’t worry.”

“Let me guess, because you’ve been through this before? I’m sorry, Steve but is that going to be enough this time?”

“It has to be. Because there’s nothing else we can do.”

“There was one and you chose-”

“Don’t.” Steve warns. “Don’t do that. Not after what you were saying. You were so happy about this baby and now-”

“And I still am. But goddamn it, Steve I’m worried about you!” Tony yells. “I get that you’ve been here before and that Strange is trying to help, but I don’t know if that’s going to be enough. How can it when all I’ve seen is you continue to fall apart?”

“Tony.” Just hearing the sound of his name roll off Steve’s tongue is enough to spark some calmness in Tony; his anger quickly defeated. “I know how this looks right now and believe me I’m scared, too. But we can’t give up. Don’t be like them. Don’t give up on me, too.”

“I don’t mean to…” Tears are rolling down Tony’s face and he quickly wipes them away, knowing he has to be the strong one. “Steve, I’m sorry. I’m not them....I’m just-”

“I know,” Steve says, softly and he crosses the room to pull Tony close. “If I’m going to beat this, then I’m going to need you on my side.”

“I need you too.”

“Tony, I’m right here. I’m not leaving you.”

Tony sniffs and pulls away from the embrace to wipe away the tears that are still escaping. “You better not, Rogers.”

Steve smiles softly. “I promised, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, I guess you did.” Tony lets out a small sigh and takes Steve’s hand in his own. “You ready to get out of here? You need to get some rest.”

“Yeah,” Steve agrees with a nod and he yawns.

Sleep doesn’t come to him, but Tony wasn’t expecting it too. Not after the events that happened. He stays by Steve’s side, keeping a watchful eye on him while he sleeps.

* * *

Steve knew something was wrong the moment he opened his eyes and the world around him lacked all of its colors. He sits up abruptly, blinking rapidly in hopes of regaining his vision-but it remains the same. The panic begins to set in and he glances around the room in hopes of finding his boyfriend, but Tony is nowhere to be found.

Steve throws the blankets off and with a grunt, pushes himself off the bed. He staggers at first, swaying when a wave of dizziness washes over him. He collects him quickly and pushes through, desperately needing to find Tony.

He’s thankful he doesn’t have to travel far-Tony is in the living room, and the minute he spots Steve, he’s jumping up from the sofa and rushing over with one of the biggest smiles Steve has ever seen on his face.

“About time. Look, I know you need to rest but I have something to show you.”

“Tony-” Steve starts, only to be interrupted when Tony continues to speak.

“I’ve been up all night working on this and I think you’re really gonna like it. It’s the positive thing you need right now.”

“Tony, wait. I have-”

Tony still isn’t listening. “Don’t worry. I didn’t go over the top this time. I kept it simple.”

Steve huffs in annoyance when Tony takes his hand and starts to drag him out of the room. He tries to protest, but he continues to go ignored.

“Just keep your eyes closed, Cap.” Tony tells him. If Tony only knew that Steve couldn’t see anyway.

“Tony, my eyes-” Steve tries again, but he never gets the chance to finish. They’ve stopped moving and it’s tempting to open his eyes, but he keeps them shut. He relies on his other senses; his hearing picking up on the soft click of a door.

He’s being led again, then Tony is letting go of his hand. “Okay, open your eyes.”

Steve opens them, a small gasp escaping him when he finds himself in the nursery that Tony had been working on. He had only seen the holographic version of it, but that image didn’t compare to the real thing.

The room consists of the basics: a crib, changing table, dresser, rocking chair. But then there were the details. Decals of characterized versions of themselves and the team decorate the walls, along with a circular rug of his shield in front of the crib. He knows the colors of his teammates and his shield by heart, but the furniture and walls remain hidden to him.

If only he could see all of the colors.

He doesn’t realize he started crying until Tony is frowning and asking, “Cap, what’s wrong? Do you hate it? Oh God you hate it. I thought the superhero thing would be-shit, Steve I’m sorry. ”

“No,” Steve shakes his head and he sniffs “I love it. I just...I can’t see it. At least, not really.”

“What?” Tony is stepping closer, brows knitted together and concern filling his eyes. “What do you mean?”

“I tried to tell you. I’m color blind.”

“Color blind?” Tony repeats, almost as if he hadn’t heard correctly the first time. “Wait, when-”

“I don’t know,” Steve replies. “I woke up and everything was black and white.”

“Shit. This is another…” Tony trails off and Steve nods his head. “Shit,” Tony says again. “Steve, this is getting out of hand.”

“Tony, relax. It’s okay. It’s not harmful. I will just have to view the world differently for a while.”

“I feel like an asshole. I brought you here to make you feel better and I made it worse. You can’t even see the paint on the goddamn wall!”

Steve flinches from the outburst and glances down. Tony sighs harshly and runs his fingers through his hair, tugging on the strands in frustration. “I’m sorry,” he says, and Steve peers up at him. “I’m sorry this is happening to you. I never should have-”

“Stop. This isn’t for me. This is for our son, so if I can’t see it, at least he’ll get to. And who knows, maybe everything will go back to the way it was after he’s born,” Steve says.

“God I hope so because I can’t take watching this happen to you. You already went through this bullshit once and it’s not fair that it has to happen again. It’s not fucking fair.”

“I know,” Steve steps further into the room, his eyes roaming over the space that now belongs to his son. He smiles and points at the familiar logo above his son’s crib. “He’s going to be an Avenger, huh?”

Tony turns his head to glance at the wall, huffing out a laugh. “I don’t know. Maybe when he’s older. Maybe.”

Steve chuckles and lays a hand over his belly, smiling when his son shifts inside. “He’s definitely an Avenger. He’s got the fighting spirit of one.”

Tony smiles for a moment, then it’s faltering and he lets out a heavy sigh. “Cap, I’m-”

“Enough. You don’t have to apologize anymore. I’ll live, Tony. Besides, we only have ten more weeks. I think I can manage.”

“Shit, where did the time go? We’re running out of time, and we don’t even have a name picked out yet.”

“We’ll think of something.”

Even though he was told not to do it anymore, Tony offers another apology. “Steve, I’m sorry. If this ruined your mood then-”

“It didn’t. I’m still happy, Tony. You did good,” Steve smiles.

“Maybe this is a temporary thing. The baby shower is in a couple of weeks and hopefully you'll be able to see that.”

“Yeah,” Steve says, doing his best to keep his tone hopeful. He doesn’t tell Tony that the color blindness wasn’t something that would just go away on its own; only the serum could repair it, just like it did when he was first injected.

He tries to stay positive, knowing that’s all he could do. Just a few more weeks and it would all be over. And it would all be worth it.


	11. Chapter 11

Deciding on a name shouldn’t be this difficult, and maybe it wouldn’t be if it weren’t for the fact that Tony and Steve struggled to meet in the middle. They still had time to pick out a name, but Tony suggested they find one now in case their little one decided to make an early appearance.

Steve couldn’t imagine having the baby early. He wanted his son to take as long as he needed. The less health complications his son had to endure the better. Tony wasn’t on board with that decision as much as he knew he should be. Watching Steve suffer now was torture and he couldn’t imagine having him go through more because their son decided to arrive later than scheduled. He was crossing his fingers that their baby arrived soon.

Steve is curled up on the sofa with a blanket when Tony arrives back from a briefing with the team. He won’t be joining them of course, not when he needs to be around Steve twenty-four-seven. But he’s still a part of the Avengers and it was Steve’s idea for him to join the team for a quick brief session. Tony knows it’s just Steve’s way of staying in the loop; he was the Captain of the team after all.

“Are you really that cold? Jesus, Steve it’s burning up outside,” Tony complains. He catches the look Steve shoots his way and he immediately regrets opening his mouth. “Sorry,” he’s quick to apologize. “I just thought being pregnant during the summer made you feel worse from the heat.”

“Yeah, well if I was in my old body maybe,” Steve replied coolly. He turns away and adjusts the blanket around him. He reaches for the sketchbook that’s sitting on the empty couch cushion beside him, and that’s when Tony notices the mess of colored pencils.

“What happened here?” Tony smirks, coming over to tease his boyfriend about the mess. It wasn’t like Steve to be unorganized, especially when it came to his art supplies.

Steve shoots a quick glance at the mess his boyfriend is referring to and sighs harshly. “I wanted to add some color to this piece I’m working on, but I can’t see the damn colors.” With a huff Steve tosses the pencil that’s in his hand on the sofa, watching as it rolls away and onto the floor.

“Hey, it’s okay. Maybe it doesn’t need color.” Tony tries to be helpful, but he knows Steve isn’t in the mood to listen to the bright side. All he talks about is trying to stay positive. Maybe he was struggling to live by his own words.

“I just wanted to escape and do something I love and...and now I can’t even do that! God, Tony this is driving me insane!” In his fit of rage, Steve throws the sketchbook from his lap, not caring that it lands in an awkward position and the pages of his drawing crinkle.

“Hey, Cap it’s okay.” Tony reaches for the book, using one hand to try and rid it of the wrinkles. “I can help. That’s what I’m here for.”

Tony takes the unoccupied spot beside Steve and hands him back the book. With a sigh, Steve accepts it and lays it over his belly. Tony chuckles. “At least you have your own portable desk to draw on.”

Steve frowns, but there’s a hint of a smile on his face. He finally gives in, revealing the smile that Tony wanted to see. “Yeah, I guess so. Except when this ‘desk’ decides it wants to move.”

Tony chuckles and leans over, placing one hand over Steve’s belly. “Has it moved?”

“Oh yeah.” Steve nods and flips to a page in his book, showing Tony a drawing that had started out decent only to transition into scribbled lines.

“I’m still gonna frame it.” Tony chuckles again when Steve rolls his eyes. When it becomes obvious that his son isn’t going to kick for him, he leans back in his seat and scrubs a hand over his face.

“How’d it go?” Steve asks.

“Fun. I don’t think I really needed to be there. Barnes took over since he knows more about Hydra than anyone. You know if you ever decide to retire…”

Steve huffs out a laugh and begins working on his sketch. “‘If’ is the key word there, Stark. I wish I could join them.”

“I know,” Tony lays a comforting hand over Steve’s thigh. “You’re almost done, Cap. But don’t think I’m letting you jump right in after this kid is born.”

“Yeah. Hopefully the serum does its job to heal me.”

Tony nods. “Yeah. Hopefully.”

Steve peers up from his sketchbook, ready to assure Tony again, only to decide to change the subject, “Hey,” he says softly and Tony turns toward him. “If your offer to help is still on the table…”

Tony smiles. “What do you need, Cap?”

“Can you pass me the blue pencil?”

“There’s like ten different shades of blue here, Steve.” Tony observes the array of pencils, deciding on dark blue and handing it to his boyfriend. “Don’t hate me if it’s the wrong color.”

“They all look the same to me.”

Tony leans back and watches intently as Steve works. “Is this why you mostly did sketches? You couldn’t see the-” Tony pauses, wincing at how stupid he’s being. “Steve, I’m sorry-”

“Relax, Tony. And yeah, I couldn’t see anything the way everyone else could. My world was in black and white, so my drawings had to be too.”

Tony sighs. “I read your file. I mean, when we were putting together this team I wanted to know who I’d be having to put up with. My dad talked non-stop about you, but not about the issues I read up on. I guess I never thought I’d see you...like this.”

“I never thought you would, either. It’s almost over, Tony. Just a few more weeks.”

“Oh, speaking of,” Tony starts and he shifts in his seat. “I know the baby shower is supposed to be in a couple of weeks, but your birthday is coming up and maybe we just have one big celebration. What do you think?”

“Wait, you want to throw the shower on my birthday?”

“Okay, you hate the idea, but just hear me out. I know you’ve been so tired lately and maybe two parties is too much. Let's just combine them.”

Steve gnaws away on his bottom lip, brows drawing together in a frown. “Tony, I don’t know. Nat was planning this and if it doesn’t work with her plans. Plus that’s in a few days.”

“So? You don’t think we can pull it off? You’ll be what thirty-one weeks by then?”

“Almost.” Steve lets out a sigh and reaches over to set his pencil down, only for Tony to take it from him and place it back on the table.

“What color now?” Tony asks, letting his hand hover over the pencils.

“Hmm. Brown. Dark brown and red.”

Tony nods and takes the two pencils, then he’s handing them to Steve. He gestures for a piece of paper and once given, he takes a pencil from the table. “So,” he starts as he begins his own drawing. “What do you think? You wanna combine the parties?”

“I guess it makes sense. And like you said, two might be too much for me. I already share so much with this little guy that sharing a party wouldn’t be so bad,” Steve says.

“I think you share way too much.”

Steve frowns but doesn’t press Tony to elaborate. He knows exactly what his boyfriend is referring to.

They sit in silence for a moment until Tony changes the subject and asks about cake preferences. It goes like this for a while: a comfortable silence followed by teasing and giggling, then a few words shared here and there.

“I’m sure yours is better than mine,” Tony says, and Steve peers up from his drawing and shakes his head. “Don’t lie to me, Cap. You know I can’t draw.”

“You design,” Steve reminds him. He continues to work on his own drawing. “I’m sure it’s great.”

“Tada!” Tony shows off his paper and Steve chuckles at the stick figure drawn in the middle. The red and gold give away just whom the figure is supposed to represent. There’s a smaller figure beside him, also dressed in red.

“That’s you and…” Steve frowns. “That’s definitely not me. I’m taller than you.”

Tony rolls his eyes and points at the smaller stick figure. “That’s our kid! He’s an Avenger and obviously likes red suits like his old man.”

“Ah.” Steve nods in understanding. “Then where am I?”

“Off saving the world. I know you’re eventually gonna go back out there with the team and I get promoted to stay-at-home-dad.”

Steve chuckles and shakes his head. He turns back to his own work, lifting the book higher when Tony tries to sneak a peek. “I’m almost done,” he says, and Tony leans back in his seat with a huff.

“I know you won.”

Steve just smiles in response. He finishes the parts that need shading, then he’s setting the pencil in his hand down and lifting his book for Tony to see. “Done,” he says, and Tony turns toward him, a smile forming on his lips at the image of himself holding their son in the rocking chair Tony had built.

“Yep, you definitely won.” Tony tells him and he gestures for the drawing, wanting a better look.

The image was mostly done in black and white, showing off the talented skills Steve possessed. There’s a bit of color added now-the blanket Steve drew their son in is colored blue and the brown pencil was used to emphasize Tony’s dark hair and give their son’s hair the same shade.

Tony smiles. “He’s gonna take after me, huh?”

Steve gives a small shrug in response and leans back, blowing out a breath when the baby shifts and presses down on his fragile lungs. “I’m hoping Peter does.”

Tony’s head snaps up at those words. “Peter? Where did that name come from?”

“I don’t know. It just popped into my head and I liked it.”

“So Tony Jr. is out?”

“It was never an option.”

Tony chuckles and places the sketchbook on the coffee table. “I’m definitely framing that one. So Peter huh? You’re sticking with that one?”

“I don’t see you coming up with a name,” Steve shoots back.

“I didn’t say I didn’t like it. But are you really sure about this? There’s no going back, Steve.”

“Tony, we still have time. But I do like the name. It means stone.”

“Okay, so we’re giving our kid a name that translates to rock?” Tony snorts and shakes his head. “I guess it’s not the worst name in the world. You do have a friend named Bucky.”

Steve narrows his eyes. “But Rhodey is better?”

“That’s different.”

“Tony,” Steve groans. “Just listen. I really like the name. He’s already proven to us that he’s strong like a stone and I just know he’s going to grow up doing something great.”

“I never should have put the idea of him becoming an Avenger in your head,” Tony says, earning another glare from Steve. “Okay, I’m sorry. And maybe you’re right. This kid could grow up to be a hero.”

“So we’re keeping the name?”

“Yeah, we’re keeping it.”

The smile that spreads across Steve’s face is infectious, beautiful. Tony hasn’t seen him this happy since they discovered that they were going to be parents. He wonders if he’s finally seeing that glow on Steve.

He’s just not sure how long that glow will last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to add another fluffy scene before it gets bad again. The bad stuff is coming up, probably in the next chapter now that I'm getting close to writing the birth. I will try and update soon!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know why but this chapter took me forever! I had no inspiration whatsoever, but I finally got something written! It’s not the best but I’m happy it’s finished! Enjoy!

The nausea comes out of nowhere. Steve was sure this part of his pregnancy was over, or at least under control. The medication Strange had him on had been doing its job for months, so for him to be nauseous out of the blue sends off warning bells.

It’s not as easy to curl around the toilet with his large belly in the way, but he somehow manages to empty his stomach into the bowl beneath him. Steve pulls away, using the back of his hand to wipe his mouth. He leans back, panting slightly from the lack of air getting into his lungs. It’s not just his asthma that makes breathing difficult these days-his son has been pressing against his lungs.

Steve lays a hand over his belly, wincing from the hard kick he receives from inside. Just a few more weeks left to go, and at first Steve was sure he could get through the remaining time he had left of his pregnancy, but now he found himself struggling.

It wasn’t just the new issues that were making it difficult to carry on. The color blindness was something he was already growing used to, and the constant aching in his back and feet were manageable-but the headaches and nausea were a whole other story.

He gives his stomach a moment to settle, and he makes an attempt to get up, only to duck his head back into the toilet for another grueling round. His throat burns and his lungs screamed for air. He can’t breathe. He panics.

“Tony!” He manages to call out before he’s forced to do it all over again. His sensitive ears pick up on the urgent footsteps followed by the door being thrown open.

“Steve!” Tony is at his side in seconds, dropping down beside him and laying a comforting hand over his back. “Dammit I thought this part was over.”

Steve doesn’t respond; he can’t. Tony stays with him until it’s finally over. Steve leans back into Tony’s touch, body relaxing from the comfort his boyfriend brings.

“What happened?” Tony asks, and he reaches over to grab a wad of toilet tissue and handing it to Steve. “You haven’t done this in months.”

“I don’t know,” Steve answers honestly and he quickly wipes his mouth clean. “I just woke up feeling off.”

“Off as in how? Do I need to get Strange?”

“No. I’ll be fine.”

“Cap, if you’re sick then I’d rather we reschedule the party and-”

“No,” Steve says again, this time with a shake of his head. “We can’t do that. Nat will kill us.”

“Steve, you’re more important than some little shower,” Tony says. He knows Steve will protest and there was no point in trying to convince him to cancel the party. They have been looking forward to this for weeks. They needed a little distraction. Tony sighs and rises to his feet. “Fine, but let me know if you get worse. Don’t hide anything.”

“I won’t.”

“I mean it, Steve. I don’t want a repeat of last time.” Tony offers Steve his hand, frowning slightly when he notices the condition Steve’s own hand is in. It was unusual to see the swelling around his fingers while the rest of him was still skinny as a twig. “Hey, Cap what’s going on with your hand?” Tony examines it closely, brows furrowing in concern.

Steve pulls away quickly to study it for himself. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s another pregnancy symptom?” He says it like a question, because in all honesty, he doesn’t know what the hell is going on with his body anymore.

“Maybe we should just postpone the party. If you’re sick-”

“Tony, relax. I feel fine now.”

“Yeah now but…”

“I’m fine,” Steve assures and he lets out a sigh when Tony doesn’t appear convinced. He doesn’t blame him for being wary. “Please don’t worry about this.”

“It’s kinda hard to do that when you’re like this,” Tony says, gesturing to Steve. “But if you think you can still do this then-”

“I can.”

Tony sighs and nods his head. He offers his hand again and pulls Steve to his feet. “You’re so damn stubborn. But it’s your birthday so I guess I will let it slide.”

Steve smiles, only for it to falter when he winces and a hand shoots up to his head. He can feel Tony’s eyes on him, no doubt full of concern and Steve is quick to offer more reassurance. “It’s fine,” he says, while still rubbing at his head. “Just a headache.”

Tony is ready to question if this headache is really ‘just a headache’ or something more, but Steve doesn’t allow him. “Tony, it’s fine. I’ve had these before.”

Tony still isn’t convinced, but the last thing he wants to start is another argument and especially on Steve’s birthday. “Okay,” he says in defeat. “But please don’t keep me in the dark again. If anything, and I mean _anything_ changes you let me know.”

“I will,” Steve replies with a nod of his head.

* * *

There’s a feeling of disappointment when Steve enters the communal living room and is unable to see the party the way his friends can. The sudden color-blindness stole the moment of not only the nursery reveal, but of his baby shower as well. He can't enjoy it the way he’s supposed to, and he almost regrets allowing his friends to throw him the party.

But then he sees the smiling faces of his friends, and that proves to be all he needs. They’re the ones that make the party bright.

It’s still nerve-wracking to be the center of attention. Steve should be used to it by now. Being an Avenger and America’s Hero gave him center stage, and it always felt like he was under some type of spotlight- but he can’t help feeling slightly uncomfortable.

In the past, his birthdays were either spent with his mother and Bucky. Back then that was all he needed, but over the years his family expanded and birthday celebrations changed.

Not that he didn’t appreciate the gesture of having a party thrown for him every year, but this year he had wanted something a little smaller. Obviously Tony chose to ignore his request to tone it down.

He wants to be upset, but then he remembers that this party was more than just for him and Peter. This party was also for Tony and the rest of the team. They needed a little distraction and positivity from the recent chaos.

“Don’t blame me,” Are the first words Natasha says when she comes over to greet him. “Blame Stark and his inability to do anything simple.”

“I wasn’t going to. All of this screams Tony,” Steve says with a small chuckle.

“You know if you’re gonna talk about a person at least wait until they’re not in earshot,” Tony grumbles.

“Tony,” Steve says his name soothingly and he reaches for his hand. “I don’t hate it, but it is a little much.”

“A little much? Cap, it’s just balloons and streamers!”

“And the chocolate fountain? Did we really need that?”

Tony’s eyes shift to the fountain in question, face heating up slightly. “The other day you said you were craving chocolate so…”

Steve huffs out a laugh while he shakes his head. “I don’t know what I’m going to do with you.”

“I have a few ideas.” Tony waggles his eyebrows suggestively.

Natasha rolls her eyes. “Are you two done? I want to show Steve the cake.”

Not wanting to keep Natasha waiting, Steve allows himself to be led away from his boyfriend and into the small kitchen where a variety of food and drinks are set up.

“I thought you said cake,” Steve makes a gesture toward the second cake.

“Well one is for you and the other for the baby. Which please tell me you have a name for this kid,” Natasha says, a hint of irritation seeping into her tone.

“We do. Didn’t I tell you?”

“I think I would have remembered my baby nephew's name, Steve.”

Steve chuckles. “Right,” he agrees and lays a hand over his belly. “We’re naming him Peter.”

“Peter?” Natasha repeats, one perfectly groomed brow raising in question. Then she smiles and reaches out to place her hand over Steve’s growing middle. “It’s kinda cute, actually. Better than Tony Jr.”

“Are you still talking about me?” Tony is coming over now, a small frown on his face when Natasha smirks. “Ah!” he points a finger in her direction. “I know that look. What are you saying about me?”

“Nothing you need to know.” Natasha winks playfully.

Tony narrows his eyes at her, then he’s reaching around Steve to dip his finger into the frosting of the cake.

“That’s Pete’s cake,” Steve tells him.

“So? You don’t think we’re gonna be stealing his food when he’s not looking?” Tony sticks his finger in his mouth and walks away.

“Please tell me you’re not going to marry him,” Natasha says.

Steve rubs at his belly. “I think I kind of have to now.”

Natasha shakes her head, then she’s reaching for Steve’s hand. “Come on,” she says and she starts to lead him away again. “The party is this way, birthday boy.”

“Is this everyone?” Steve asks when they’re back into the living area and he glances around at the sofa occupied with familiar faces.

Natasha stares up at him in disbelief. “You wanted more? I thought you said a small group.”

“I’m kidding,” Steve says with a chuckle. “This is enough.”

“Clint might show up later with Laura and the kids. And Thor...well, you know how he can be. He’s probably fighting aliens as we speak.”

“It’s okay.” And really it is. Steve understands that a lot of his friends are busy and have their own lives. Not to say that he doesn’t miss their presence every now and again, but the friends that he still gets to see on a regular basis is more than enough. Especially since he specifically asked for a small social gathering.

Steve makes himself comfortable on one of the sofas between Sam and Bucky. Tony doesn’t protest, knowing that Steve needs some time with his friends, and that’s fine because he spends some with Rhodey and Pepper. That doesn’t stop him from coming over and checking on him every now and then.

“You okay?” Sam asks, after Tony walks away from another check up.

“Fine,” Steve replied with a nod of his head. “Tony is just overprotective.”

“Can you blame him?” Bucky says. “No offense, pal but you look…”

Bucky doesn’t finish that thought, not that he needs to for Steve to understand what he’s referring to. It was obvious now just how much the pregnancy was affecting the serum. The weight loss was concerning and no matter how much Steve tried to gain it back, his body remained the same.

“Skinny?” Steve decides to finish Bucky’s thought for him and he gets a nod in response. “I know. I’m trying, though.”

“I know you are. It’s just….it’s like I’ve gone back in time.”

“I’m going to be fine, Buck. It’s almost over.”

“You’re not _that_ skinny,” Sam points out. “You seem a little fuller in your face. That’s not me calling you fat, I swear!” Sam quickly holds up his hands.

Steve frowns, not from the comment but because he hadn’t really noticed that his face was swelling. He glances down at his hands. “It’s not just my face,” he says.

“Is this normal?” Bucky asks, his tone full of concern.

“I think so,” Steve tries to assure, but judging by the looks his friends give him, he knows he failed at keeping them convinced. “Guys, it’s nothing. This is-”

Steve cuts himself off. Normal isn’t exactly the word he wants to use right now, especially given the fact everything that has happened to him so far has been far from it.

He doesn’t get a chance to dwell on the issue for long because Natasha is coming over with Pepper to start with the presents. It’s easy to forget about his current health issues when he’s showered with gifts for both himself and his son.

If there were a competition for most gifts received, Peter would be crowned the winner. He wasn’t even here yet and Steve already knew his son was going to be spoiled by the whole team.

The decision to combine the parties turns out to be just what Steve needed. Halfway through he’s getting tired and his head is starting to ache, and he couldn’t imagine having to do two parties. The headache can be pushed to the side, but then the nausea is making another appearance and Steve hopes he’s able to keep the food he’s consumed down.

He doesn’t experience any movement from his son and it strikes Steve as odd. Usually, Peter was squirming and kicking up a storm, especially if Steve had eaten anything. So for him to be completely still puts Steve on edge.

“Are you okay, Steve?” Pepper asks softly, coming over to sit by him when she noticed the concerned look on his face.

Steve gives a small nod in response and offers her a smile of reassurance. “Yeah,” he says and places one hand over his belly, frowning again when he doesn’t feel the familiar kicking from inside. “No,” he admits with a sigh. “Peter’s not...he’s different.”

Pepper smiles. “Tony did tell me the name you two decided on. It’s beautiful,” she says. She reaches out, only to stop herself. “May I?”

Steve nods again and she rests her hand upon his belly. There’s no reaction from her touch and it sets off another wave of anxiety, but then a small push can be felt and Steve is able to breathe out a sigh of relief. It’s not what he’s used to and the small bit of movement from his son is still bothersome, but at least he was moving.

“He could be sleeping,” Pepper says, and she continues to rub her hand around the spot where Peter was. “I’ve heard orange juice will get babies moving..”

“I guess I could try that. Although, those cakes are starting to call to me,” Steve chuckles. He didn’t want to give into his cravings every time, but if eating a piece of cake would get his son to move, then he was going to cave. And it was his birthday-he deserved it.

“Let’s get you some of that cake then,” Pepper smiles and offers her hand for Steve to take.

With two tempting cakes in front of him, it’s hard to make a decision on which one to cut into first. Natasha makes it for him, reminding him that they hadn’t blown out the candles yet and his birthday cake was off limits until then. But when a hungry and pregnant supersoldier wanted cake, there was no denying him. With a sigh of defeat, Natasha announces it’s time for cake.

“You can sit down,” Natasha swats Steve’s hand away when he tries to sneak some frosting from the border of the cake. She works quickly to get the candles on top, not wanting to keep Steve waiting any longer. “Seriously, Steve I’ll bring it to you. Now go.” Natasha waves him away with one hand and Steve chuckles.

“Sorry. It just looks really good.” Steve tries again to dig into the frosting, this time succeeding and humming in delight when the sweetness touches his tongue. “Good, too.”

Natasha rolls her eyes, but there’s a hint of a smile on her lips. “I’m going to have you escorted out, Rogers.”

“By you, Romanoff?”

“Maybe. Or I can get Tony. You’ll listen to him.

Steve leans against the counter with a huff and turns his head slightly just to give him a view of the living area, eyes landing on his boyfriend. Tony is occupied with Rhodey, laughing and talking about God knows what. Steve has never seen him so at ease.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have listened,” Steve says, turning his attention back to Natasha. “I probably wouldn’t have gotten pregnant.”

“Aw don’t say that. You love this little guy.” Natasha coos, taking a break from putting on candles to give Steve’s belly a rub. “I know we all do.”

“Yeah, I know you do. The kid has more stuff than I do.”

“Don’t be jealous, Steve.”

“Believe me, I’m not. He’s the best gift I’ve ever gotten.”

“So I can return the new pencil set?” Natasha jokes.

“Oh no I’m using those,” Steve chuckles. He eyes the cake again, this time frowning when he notices how many candles are being placed. “Really, Nat?”

“What? You’re old, Steve.”

Steve huffs out laugh and shakes his head. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“I always am,” Natasha says, then she’s waving him away again. “Now go sit down!”

“Okay,” Steve holds his hands up. “I’m going.”

Steve turns to leave, only to stop abruptly when a stabbing pain shoots across his middle. The sharp intake of air he takes catches Natasha’s attention and her head snaps up in his direction.

“Steve…?”

“I’m fine,” He waves her off. “It’s-”

The pain continues and this time Steve can’t keep his discomfort hidden. He cries out and grips his stomach, eyes squeezing shut when the pain intensifies. Natasha is talking to him, but all Steve can focus on is the pain.

“Nat...hurts…” He manages to get out through clenched teeth.

“I know, just hang on,” Natasha tells him and she carefully begins to lead him out of the kitchen, calling out for help when Steve continues to groan in pain.

Tony is there in seconds. “Cap, talk to me. What’s wrong?”

Steve shakes his head quickly. “I don’t know….I-I don’t know. Tony, please!” He doubles over this time, crying out when the pain only gets worse.

“It’s gonna be okay,” Tony assures, doing his best to keep the panic out of his tone. “I’m gonna call Strange.”

“Hurry!” Steve urges and he groans again. The pain worsens and he wraps both arms around himself.

Natasha’s soothing voice is in his ear again, “Just breathe, Steve. Everything’s going to be okay.”

Steve desperately tries to get air into his lungs, but the simple task of breathing suddenly becomes a challenge and he chokes on the bit of air that he does get. “N-Nat!” he gasps out, one hand reaching out to hold onto her.

“Steve, you’re okay,” Natasha tells him.

He tries to tell her that he’s not, but he can’t get the words out. It’s all too much: the pain and lack of air is getting to him, and he sways. Natasha is there to steady him and he feels another pair of hands.

“It’s okay, pal.” Bucky does his best to assure his friend, but his attempts fail.

Steve knows he’s not okay.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me start off by saying that I never experienced preeclampsia during my pregnancy, and had to do some research on it. And let me tell you I did A LOT! This chapter contains the information that I found and I apologize in advance if it's not accurate. I swear I did my best!

As far as birthdays went, Steve had to admit he’s had better. He’s been sick before on most of his birthdays, but his mother always found a way to celebrate with him. Watching the fireworks together was his favorite memory with her.

Now he’s stuck in medical in one of the most uncomfortable beds while the fireworks shoot off in the distance. The slow beeping of the machine beside him tries to drown out the noise, but Steve can still pick up the soft booms.

He’d do anything to be watching those fireworks right about now.

Steve throws his head back against the pillow, huffing out a breath. His eyes land on the door that’s refused to open since Strange had last stepped through it. Steve knew running tests was a tedious job, but it’s felt like hours since he had last seen the Doctor. He can’t help but feel annoyed.

Steve catches movement from his right, wincing in sympathy when his boyfriend shifts in the chair. Tony hasn’t left his side since he was checked in, and it was becoming obvious that he was just as uncomfortable.

But Tony doesn’t complain, and instead he’s lacing their fingers together and offering Steve a hopeful smile. “You okay, Cap?”

Steve lets out a sigh and plops his head back against the pillow again. “No. I should be used to spending another birthday surrounded by doctors and I guess I thought that was over too, but-”

“But here we are,” Tony finishes, and with a sigh he leans back in his chair. “You know, I wasn’t planning on this happening. I thought for sure we were gonna be able to watch the fireworks.”

“I’m sorry, Tony. I know you had a lot planned. I was looking forward to all of it, too.”

“It’s fine,” Tony offers another smile. And really it is. He’d rather make sure Steve and his son were okay before continuing with the party. “How are you feeling?” he asks.

“Fine,” Steve replies. The pain in his belly isn’t as sharp, and the dull ache is something he can tolerate. That doesn’t mean he’s ready to brush it off, though. He’s learned his lesson in the past. “I just wish Stephen would-”

The door opens with a soft click, cutting Steve off and his head snaps in the direction of the door. Stephen steps through and judging by the look on his face, Steve knows his test results are not good. Tony must know too, because he grips Steve’s hand a little harder.

“Just lay it on us,” Tony tells the Doctor. “Whatever it is, we can handle it.”

Stephen glances in Tony’s direction, then he’s locking eyes with Steve. “I suspected preeclampsia based off of the symptoms you were showing, and the tests results confirm my suspicions.”

“What is that? Is it bad?” Steve asks.

“It’s caused by high blood pressure, which you have a history of. This was what I was trying to avoid. If it’s caught early enough then it can be managed until I can deliver the baby-”

“But it’s not early enough, is it?” Steve interjects.

Stephen lets out a sigh. “It’s not as severe, but preeclampsia isn’t a condition that gets better, it gets worse. You’re almost thirty-one weeks and delivering the baby now would put him at a great risk of health complications, but I need to deliver him soon. Otherwise-”

“It’s too early. No, you can’t just-”

“Steve,” Tony tries to coax him, and he squeezes his hand gently. “Let him do what needs to be done.”

“Tony, Peter isn’t ready,” Steve says, then he’s turning back to Stephen. “I just need more time. My due date is coming up and-”

“Rogers, I understand your concerns, but if I don’t get that baby out soon you’ll both be at risk here and that’s not something I’m going to let happen,” Stephen says.

“Please. If he dies-”

“He will if you don’t let me do my job!”

Steve’s jaw clenches and he inhales sharply. Tony gives his hand another reassuring squeeze before he’s rising to his feet and asking the Doctor if they can speak alone in private. Tony follows Stephen out of the room and closes the door behind him.

“You gotta go easy on him,” Tony says. “He’s dealing with a lot and you yelling at him isn’t helping.”

“I’m just trying to make him understand. With his condition, he is putting himself and the baby at risk for serious complications, which could lead to death,” Stephen explains.

Tony takes a deep breath to calm himself as he registers those words. The nightmare he had replays in his mind and he quickly forces it away. “What can you do?” he asks. “You said it can be monitored, right?”

“It can be, but right now he’s showing signs of severe preeclampsia and the only thing to do is to deliver the baby.”

“Doc, you know it’s too early for that and I can’t lose my son, too. Can you wait until he’s closer to his due date? That would calm him down a lot.”

“There is no waiting until he’s full-term, Stark. He’ll only get worse if we wait any longer, but the most I can wait is until he’s thirty-four weeks. The baby has a better chance of surviving if born around that time.”

“Okay. I mean it’s not ideal but-”

“None of this is, which is why I was hoping it never had to occur.”

Tony nods. He never expected Steve’s pregnancy to be as harsh as it has been. There’s still a part of him that regrets them getting this far and having to suffer with the new challenges, but he forces those feelings aside. He just needs to believe that everything will work out in the end. If they could make it this far, then maybe they could keep going.

Steve doesn’t argue when Stephen returns and explains the severity of the situation. He keeps quiet, only nodding his head when he knows he’s supposed to. It’s difficult to listen when all he can focus on is the idea of having to give birth before his son was deemed ready to enter the world. That wasn’t his plan at all.

He was used to plans changing and having to learn to adapt, but this was something he was having trouble adapting to. Since finding out he was pregnant, all he ever wanted was to keep his child safe. Now he felt like he had failed.

“Rogers.” At the sound of his name, Steve forces himself to glance up and meet the Doctor’s eyes. He can see the sympathy in them. “I’m going to recommend keeping you overnight so that I can keep a close eye on you and the baby. I know I said I’m willing to wait until you’ve reached thirty-four weeks, but if anything changes-”

“I know,” Steve says and he glances back down at his lap, laying one hand over his belly. “Just do what you need to do.”

Stephen leaves shortly after, leaving Tony and Steve alone again. The silence that follows the Doctor’s absence is heavy.

“Steve,” Tony says first, no longer standing the silence that surrounds them. “I know this isn’t what you wanted to hear but-”

“But you did, right?” Steve cuts him off, “You wanted this all to be over and now you get what you want.”

“I didn’t want this to happen, but if it’s the only option then we need to do it. It’s the only way you and Pete will be okay. Isn’t that what you want?”

“Of course that’s what I want! Dammit, Tony all I wanted was to keep him safe and now...now it’s like I failed. It’s my fault he needs to be born early.”

“It’s not your fault, Steve. The serum just-”

“The serum is a part of me. It’s my fault. God, I wish there was another way.”

“I know,” Tony says sympathetically and he takes Steve’s hand in his own, brushing his thumb over Steve’s knuckles. “This wasn’t part of the plan, but we’ll get through this.”

“I have to get better. Maybe Strange can get it under control and Peter will get more time. I don’t want to do this now. I can’t.”

“Steve, you heard what he said. There’s no other options.”

“It’s not fair. It’s not fair that our son has to suffer because of me.” Steve swallows the lump that’s formed in his throat. He’s not going to give in and break down. He needs to be strong. But being strong is starting to become a challenge.

“Just hang in there. It’s gonna be okay,” Tony assures.

Steve just hopes he’s right.

* * *

It goes from bad to worse in just a span of two weeks. Steve isn’t getting any better and he knows he’s lost the fight. Despite Strange's best efforts to keep his condition from worsening, his sick body refuses to heal. Steve wishes for once that serum would come through and make everything okay again, but he’s not that lucky.

It’s not just been a difficult experience for him-Tony is visibly struggling. He’s never seen Steve so sick, so frail. It gets harder day after day to witness the one person he can’t live without crumbling. He does his best to support and comfort Steve, but it’s not enough. It’s never enough.

So Tony is relieved when Strange suggests Steve remain in medical until he can deliver. At least then both he and the baby will be closely monitored. It’s not easy, but this was another thing Steve was accustomed to and he’s able to accept it.

Steve hasn’t said a word since Strange left the room. He kept quiet as he listened in on the conversation, silently wishing that it didn’t have to come down to this. He had wanted to wait a little longer to make sure that Peter would be okay, but they were out of time.

Tony leaves shortly after to inform the team. Steve lets out a sigh once he’s alone, and he throws his head back against the pillow. One hand falls to rest on his belly when he feels a soft push from inside. He smiles at the thought of finally getting to meet the little person that he had been taking care of for so long, but the smile on his face quickly falters when he remembers the circumstances.

“This is my fault,” He says quietly while he rubs at the spot where his son is currently nestled. “I’m sorry, Pete. I’m so sorry.”

He gets another kick in response and he likes to believe that it’s his son’s way of showing forgiveness.

“I wish you would stop blaming yourself.” At the sound of Tony’s voice, Steve snaps his head up and locks eyes with familiar brown ones. “Sorry to interrupt,” Tony apologizes and steps back into the room.

“You’re fine. What did they say?” Steve asks.

“Well they’re worried, but they’ll be here. We’re a team.”

Steve gives a small nod in response. He keeps his hand over his belly, finding comfort from the movement within. He’s terrified of what could go wrong, and as much as he chooses to believe that no issues will arise, he knows deep down it’s better to be prepared for any outcome.

“Tony,” he says, softly, locking eyes with him again. “Remember that promise you told me to keep?”

“Yeah,” Tony nods in response. His brows draw together in a deep frown. He doesn’t like where this is going. “Why?”

“I need you to make me one, too. I don’t know what’s going to happen and believe me when I say I will do anything to keep my promise to you, but if it comes down to making a decision...you need to promise me that you’ll choose him. It’s got to be Peter, Tony.”

“Steve, don’t...don’t make me choose. You told me that you would beat this, and that everything would be fine. Now you’re wanting me to pick our son over you? I can’t. Steve, I-”

“Please? If anyone deserves to come out of this then it’s him. It’s my fault this is happening and if I can make it right by letting him survive this then I’m going to do it.”

“Just for one goddamn second can you take care of yourself? You’re always willing to put everyone first and-”

“He’s our son. No matter what he’s always going to come first. I’d do anything for him.”

“And I get that, but if there’s a chance of you both surviving this then isn’t that what we should be focusing on here? You’re acting like you’re not going to make it out of this,” Tony says, his tone filling with frustration.

“I’m just preparing myself for anything,” Steve does his best to keep his own tone calm, “Please, Tony just promise me you’ll choose him.”

“Steve, that’s a big promise and I don’t know….dammit, why are you making me choose? You know I can’t do that.”

“I know and I’m sorry. You’ve been having to choose from the beginning and I know this isn’t the choice you want to make, but he comes first. You know that.”

“Can we talk about this later?” Tony suggests, no longer wanting to participate in one of the most difficult conversations he’s ever experienced.

Steve nods his head. “Yeah. Later is good.”

“Good,” Tony says and makes his way toward the door. “I’ll let them know they can visit for a while.”

“Okay.”

Having his friends around would be a good distraction. It would give him a few moments of not having to think about the what ifs.

He glances down at his belly, rubbing it soothingly in an attempt to calm his son.“You’ll be okay, Pete. I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Steve would probably need a c-section done, but I read if the baby was born too early than they could have serious complications after the birth, and I didn't really have that planned for this story. So I stretched the time out a little bit and will just have him be induced. It's still early, but at least Peter has a better chance of surviving. And not to mention he has the serum ;) I will update soon! Peter is on the way!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh you guys this is it! I think this is the longest chapter in this whole story! It's taken me hours, but I finally got it done! Who's ready to meet Peter! *raises hand*

Steve’s dislike for needles never did seem to go away. Growing up as a sick kid, needles were always part of every exam any doctor has ever conducted. Tests were constantly being run on him, so it made sense that he would grow to hate the sight of needles. Over the years he’s learned to block out the little pinch that comes with being pricked by one, but that lingering fear was something he still struggled to block out.

The fear wasn’t so much of the needle itself. Their size could definitely be intimidating, but it was what followed that made Steve uncomfortable. The results that the needle pulled from him were never positive.

He tries to keep himself calm when Strange begins setting up the IV drip. He’s been through this before, but this time is different. The medicine he’s about to receive isn’t meant to heal him or ease any of his symptoms. It’s meant to force his son to enter the world early. It wasn’t fair.

The shaky intake of air he takes grabs Tony’s attention and he’s reaching for Steve’s hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze in an attempt to calm him. Steve doesn’t take his eyes away from Tony’s, using the deep brown orbs as a way to distract himself from the uncomfortable pinch the needle brings.

It’s over quickly and Steve forces himself to glance at the needle in his arm. His eyes trail up until they’re settling on the medicine bag that is slowly distributing the substance that is going to interfere with his son.

“Everyone is different and it’s hard to say exactly when labor will begin. The staff and myself will continue checking your progress throughout the day. Just be patient,” Stephen says, then he’s leaving the room to give Steve and Tony some privacy.

“Guess this is it,” Steve says. He feels defeated. Like he had lost the battle that he had been fighting for so long.

“Yeah,” Tony agrees. He uses his thumb to gently brush along Steve’s knuckles. “It’s okay. It needed to happen.”

“It feels wrong. My job was to keep this baby safe and-”

“And you are. I know giving birth now wasn’t in the cards, but it’s the only way you’re gonna keep him safe. He’ll be okay, Steve.”

Steve lets out a heavy sigh and rests his head against the pillow. “You can let them back in now. I think I need a distraction.”

Tony nods and rises to his feet, then he’s crossing the room to open the door and allow their friends access to the room. Natasha and Bucky enter first, followed by Sam and Bruce. Tony makes a mental note to inform the rest of their group about Steve, just in case they decide to take a break from their other life to check in on their Captain.

“How are you feeling?” Natasha asks, taking the spot on the bed beside Steve, careful not to interfere with the IV. She rubs a hand along his shoulder soothingly.

“Fine. Nervous,” Steve admits. He had originally anticipated getting through the full forty weeks of his pregnancy, and knowing that he could go into labor in just a matter of hours terrified him. He wasn’t ready to give birth, and his son definitely wasn’t ready to be born. But it was out of his hands.

“You’ll be okay.” Bucky does his best to assure him, but even the warm smile from his best friend isn’t enough to diminish Steve’s nerves.

“When will it start?” Sam asks, shooting a quick glance in the direction of the IV drip.

“I don’t know. It could take hours for it to kick in and do something. Just have to wait,” Steve replies.

“We won’t stay all day if you don’t want us to,” Natasha says. “You need to rest and build up your strength.”

“Whatever’s left of it.” Steve sighs. The worried glance that goes around the room doesn’t go unnoticed. “I’ll be fine,” Steve assures his friends. “Don’t worry about me.”

“Can’t help it,” Bucky says and he moves closer so that he’s standing beside his best friend. He lays one hand over Steve’s shoulder, and gives it a gentle squeeze. “You better keep your end of the deal.”

Steve chuckles. “I will.”

“How’s the baby?” Bruce asks.

Tony decides to step in. “Fine. Strange issued steroids to strengthen his lungs, so at least we have that to help him.”

Bruce nods. “I’m sorry. If there’s anything we can to do-”

“You being here is enough,” Steve interrupts.

“Really?” Natasha smiles, “what about a cute teddy bear and balloons? Would that cheer you up, Steve?”

“There’s not a gift shop,” Sam reminds her with a roll of his eyes.

“That’s not an issue, Wilson,” Natasha tells him, then she turns back to Steve. “I’ll find you and Peter something okay?”

“Thanks, Nat.” Steve smiles.

The team stays a little longer, doing their best to keep Steve and Tony occupied while they wait for any signs of labor starting. When the day continues to drag on and it becomes apparent that the medication hasn’t kicked in, Tony promises to keep them informed and politely kicks them out. As much as Steve enjoyed their company, he needed to rest and build up the bit of strength that he had left. He was going to need it.

It’s well into the evening when Steve is woken up by a sharp pain in his lower belly. He sits up with a gasp, one hand flying to the area. Steve isn’t the only one bothered by the pain; Peter is pushing roughly against his palm. It doesn’t last long and starts to fade.

Steve lies back down, grumbling in annoyance when he can’t find a comfortable position. He’s interrupted from sleep again when the pain returns, this time starting from his lower back and wrapping around his middle. He knows exactly what this is.

With a grunt he forces himself up, eyes scanning around the dimly lit room until they’re landing on the pull out couch Tony has made himself comfortable on. The soft sound of his snoring mixes in with the sounds of the machines Steve is connected to.

“Tony,” Steve calls out to him, wincing slightly when the contraction reaches its peak. There’s no response and he tries again, this time a little louder. “Tony!”

Still nothing.

With a huff Steve reaches behind himself and pulls one of the extra pillows free, and throws it in the direction of his sleeping boyfriend. Steve’s aim is always perfect-years of throwing his shield around came in handy-and he hits Tony in the face with the pillow.

“Really?” Tony groans in annoyance and sits up, scrubbing one hand over his face while he yawns. “You’re throwing pillows at me now? What did I do? Say something stupid in my sleep?”

“I think I’m in labor.”

At those words, Tony is awake instantly and jumping up from the sofa, rushing toward Steve’s side. “Wait, you’re serious? What happened?”

“I’m having contractions. They’re not that bad yet,” Steve replies.

“Okay, this is good. I mean, not really but it’s good. This is good.”

“Tony, I think you’re panicking.”

“No,” Tony shakes his head. “Not panicking. Just…I think I’m gonna get Strange.”

“Okay.” Steve nods and Tony quickly rushes out of the room. With a huff Steve throws his head back and rubs at his belly. He glances down when he feels another jab from his son. “This is it, Pete.”

Tony and Stephen enter the room a few minutes later, and the Doctor immediately gets started on checking Steve’s progress. The exam is uncomfortable and Steve can’t help the small face of discomfort he makes from the feeling of Stephen’s probing fingers. Much to Steve’s relief, it doesn’t last long and Stephen is pulling away.

“You’re at two centimeters,” Stephen announces and snaps off the latex gloves he’s wearing, and he rises from his spot between Steve’s legs.

“That’s it?” Tony asks. “Just two?”

“It can be a slow process. I’m not expecting this baby tonight. Could be sometime tomorrow, it’s hard to tell for sure-but you’re making progress. Just relax and let your body do what it needs to do.”

“Easier said than done,” Steve grumbles. The thought of relaxing seems impossible to him. The contractions are twenty minutes apart, but he knows they’re going to get stronger and closer together.

“Thanks,” Tony tells the Doctor, then they’re left alone again. He turns back to Steve. “You want me to inform everyone?”

Steve gives a nod in response. “Might as well. Just make sure you tell them it’s going to take a while.”

“I’m sure they already know,” Tony says and he leans down to press a kiss to Steve’s head. “Just hang in there. You’re doing good so far.”

Steve huffs out a laugh. “Yeah...so far.”

* * *

Somehow Natasha managed to find the time to get Steve the teddy bear she had mentioned. It’s clearly meant for his son-the words ‘It’s a boy’ are stitched into a blue heart the bear holds in its hand. Steve keeps it close, setting it beside him and squeezing it whenever a contraction hits. They're fifteen minutes apart now, but slowly starting to get stronger.

“Breathe, honey,” Tony reminds him when another one hits exactly fifteen minutes later from the one prior. Steve grips the plush toy in his hands, his eyes clenching shut and a small groan slipping past his lips.

“Don’t take it out on the poor bear,” Natasha says with a frown.

“Sorry,” Steve pants and releases his firm grip.

“I’m messing with you. Take it out on it all you want. Or better yet Tony.”

Tony shoots her a glare. “You know I can kick all of you out right now.”

“We’re not leaving,” Bucky states, clearly not amused with Tony’s threat. He’s always been protective of Steve and now was no different. He stays by Steve’s side, offering his hand for Steve to hold instead of the bear.

“Obviously,” Tony says with a roll of his eyes, and with a huff he lowers himself in the chair beside the bed. “It’s gonna be a long night. You sure you guys can be patient? Because I sure as hell can’t.”

“We’ll do our best,” Bruce promises. “Let us know if you need us out of your hair.”

“I appreciate having you guys here, but Tony’s right. It’s going to be a process and I’d rather you all get some rest. We’ll keep you updated,” Steve says.

“You better,” Natasha threatens and she gets up from the edge of the bed. She reaches for the bear and places it in the crook of Steve’s arm. “Maybe try hugging it instead of killing it, Rogers.”

Steve chuckles at the suggestion. “I’ll do my best.”

Sam comes over next and gives Steve a pat on the shoulder. “Good luck, Cap. we’ll be here if you need us.”

“Thanks, Sam.”

Bucky refuses to leave, and it’s not until Steve assures him that he’ll be okay does he let go of Steve’s hand. Sam has to take his own hand to drag him away from Steve’s side. Once they reach the door, Natasha and Bruce exit first followed by Sam; Bucky stays.

“I’ll be fine, Buck,” Steve assures.

“Don’t do anything stupid until I get back,” Bucky tells him.

Steve huffs out a laugh. “How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.”

Bucky shoots him a small smile, then he’s leaving the room and quietly shutting the door behind him.

* * *

Throughout the night Steve is able to rest on and off; he’s surprised that he’s even managed to sleep at all. Sleep stops coming once the contractions get closer together. Tony informs him that they’re coming every seven minutes, and that’s when Steve gives up on trying to go back to sleep.

They’re not as painful yet, but they’re getting pretty damn close. He catches himself from crying out when he’s assaulted by another contraction, and instead groans softly into his pillow. Tony is somewhere behind him, encouraging him and kneading his fingers into the small of his back. It helps with the sharp pain that flares up there with every contraction.

“Oh God,” Steve groans when his lower muscles tighten, and he buries his face in the teddy bear. He clenches his teeth to fight the urge to scream into the plush toy.

“It’s almost over,” Tony says, eyes watching the wave-like patterns on the fetal monitor. Steve groans again right when the contraction peaks, and Tony switches from kneading his boyfriend’s sore back to rubbing small circles in an attempt to comfort him.

“Tony!” Steve cries out, groaning loudly from the sharp pain in his middle.

The contraction begins to fade until it’s nothing but a dull ache, and Steve is able to relax again. Tony doesn’t remove his hands from Steve’s back. “You’re doing so good, honey. I’m proud of you.”

“They’re starting to hurt and my back...” Steve trails off, gritting his teeth while he rolls over. “I need to get up. The bed is making it worse.”

Tony nods and steps away so that he can assist Steve getting up. Steve doesn’t make it very far-another contraction hits, forcing him to double over. He uses the bed as leverage, hands gripping the sheets tightly until his knuckles are turning white. Steve grits his teeth and squeezes his eyes shut, doing everything he can to not let the pain tear him down.

Tony’s hand is on his back again and more encouraging words are being said. Steve struggles to listen, all of his focus is on the painful twinges in his middle. His back spasms painfully and this time he can’t hold back his cries.

“Tony, please!” He begs, digging his fingers into the soft fabric of the sheets. He shuts his eyes tightly when tears threaten to fall from them. The pain was getting worse.

“I know, I know. Just hang in there, Steve. It’s almost done,” Tony tries to assure, but he knows he’s failing miserably. They were far from getting through this and there was no telling how long Steve was going to have to suffer.

The contraction ends and Steve is able to stand up straight again. He turns around slowly, hands coming out to grasp onto Tony, and when Tony allows him to pull him close, he wraps his arms his neck and leans forward, inhaling the comforting scent of his boyfriend. The height difference used to be an issue, but Steve was slightly smaller now and it was easier for Tony to hold him.

The minutes tick by slowly; Tony keeps his eyes on the clock that’s hanging in the room, silently timing the contractions. Steve seizes up when another hits and he groans, leaning even further until his face is buried in the crook of Tony’s neck. Tony frowns. It’s only been five minutes.

“They’re getting closer,” he says, and Steve hums, too engrossed in the pain to supply a true response. “How’s the pain level? One to ten, what is it?”

“Uh...mmm…” Steve moans. His fingers dig into Tony’s shoulders. “Um maybe a seven….”

“Okay. Your pain tolerance is normally pretty high, right?”

Steve nods his head. “It’s being tested, though. Dammit!”

“You’re okay,” Tony soothes, using one hand to rub along Steve’s back. “Do you want me to get the others? Have them cheer you up?”

Steve shakes his head and he tries to bring Tony closer. “I just want you.”

“Okay. Do you want to try walking?” Tony doesn’t want to push Steve into doing anything that could make him feel worse, but getting the labor to progress faster couldn’t hurt. He wanted it over just as much as Steve did.

Steve is only to take a few steps around the room before he’s relying on Tony to steady him when another contraction hits. “Shit,” Steve curses and he hangs his head, trying to focus on his breathing, but even that is becoming difficult. There’s an intense pressure deep in his pelvis and he groans, wishing that the pain would go away.

“What’s wrong?” Tony can sense the change immediately.

“There’s a lot of pressure.” Steve groans and his face contorted in pain. Another contraction is creeping up on him and he prepares himself for the pain to start again. The contraction hits, increasing the pressure he’s feeling. A surprised gasp leaves his lips when something warm trickles down his leg.

“Steve-”

“I think my water broke.” Steve’s eyes dart down to the floor, moving his feet slightly when he catches the small puddle of water beneath him. “Tony, it broke. Shit, Tony-”

“Hey, it’s okay. This is good. I’ll go get Strange.”

Steve nods and he feels Tony pull away from him, and he quickly brings him back when the next contraction hits-this one is the strongest yet. “Tony!” he cries out, desperately needing to feel his boyfriend.

“I’m here, Steve. It’s okay. Just breathe,” Tony encourages.

“I...c-can’t.” Steve struggles to get any air into his lungs and he gasps, eyes widening when his lungs continue to fail him.

“Steve, you need to breathe.” Tony gently places his hands over Steve’s shoulders. “Honey, focus. In and out okay?”

When his efforts to get Steve to breathe fail, Tony immediately calls for the Doctor. Stephen is rushing into the room, followed by a small group of the medical staff. Tony is left to watch helplessly while they work on getting Steve’s breathing under control.

It’s terrifying to watch Steve like this, and Tony continues to remind himself that it will all be over soon.

The flurry of activity eventually dies down and Tony is once again left alone with Steve. He doesn’t move from his side, not wanting to be too far in the case Steve can’t breathe again. Tony’s eyes drift to the oxygen tube in Steve’s nose, wishing it wasn’t needed. He wishes for a lot of things, not having Steve suffer one of them.

Tony watches the soft rise and fall of Steve’s chest, relieved that he’s sleeping now. He still stirs in his sleep and his face twists in pain when another contraction hits. Now that his water has broken, they’re coming every three minutes now. It was a good and bad thing.

Tony reaches over and gently brushes his thumb along Steve’s face, pausing his movements when Steve stirs again. “You’re doing so good,” he tells him softly. “Almost there.”

When Strange returns to check on Steve’s progress, Steve is awake and battling through another contraction. His pain-filled cries ring out in the room, and Tony wishes there was something he could do to ease the pain. He was sure the back rubs and encouraging words were starting to annoy his boyfriend.

“How are you feeling?” Stephen asks, ignoring the dirty look Steve sends his way. He sighs, “I know, but I need to ask. Any changes?”

“Just a lot of pain,” Steve says through gritted teeth. He throws his head back against the pillow and groans.

Stephen nods and slips on a pair of gloves, then he’s positioning himself between Steve’s legs. “Sorry,” he mutters when Steve flinches. “I know this part isn’t fun.”

“None of it is.” Steve keeps his gaze on the ceiling above, using it as distraction from the exam. “Please tell me I’m getting close.”

“You’re at eight centimeters,” Stephen explains and he pulls away. “You’re in the transition stage.”

“And that’s good, right?” Tony asks, “all of this will be over soon?”

Stephen nods. “Yes,” he answers Tony’s question, then he’s turning back to Steve. “I’m just warning you now that it’s going to become more painful. At this point it’s too late for an epidural-”

“It’s fine,” Steve interrupts. “I don’t want one.”

“Steve-” Tony tries to protest. He finds it hard to believe that his boyfriend would opt out of pain medication.

“No,” Steve says firmly. “There’s already too much and I can’t...no, he doesn’t need that. I’ll be fine.”

Stephen lets out a heavy sigh and nods his head. “You’re almost there, Rogers. I’m going to check on the baby and then you can rest again.”

* * *

It’s becoming difficult to hold back his cries of pain. Steve writhes on the bed whenever a new contraction hits, loud and painful groans escaping him. Tears spring to his eyes and this time he doesn’t bother trying to keep them from spilling. He wants the pain to end, but it’s like it’s never ending. He never gets a break from it.

“Please! Tony, please make it stop!” Steve cries into his pillow, fingers twisting the pillowcase when the contraction worsens. Tony is sitting on the bed beside him, leaning over to brush the strands of hair that have fallen in Steve’s face. “Tony,” Steve says, the sound of his boyfriend’s name coming out as a whimper.

“I know. I’m right here. I know this sucks, Steve but it’s gonna be worth it. We’re gonna meet our son.” Tony does his best to keep Steve distracted, but even he’s no match against the contractions.

Steve screams, using the pillow to muffle the horrible sound. Tony flinches and he turns to rubbing Steve’s back, wishing that he could take Steve’s place. It wasn’t fair that he had to suffer like this.

“Almost there. You’re doing good.” Tony hates how repetitive he’s beginning to sound, but he honestly doesn’t know what else he’s supposed to say. Nothing he did helped ease the pain Steve was feeling.

“Tony, Tony, Tony,” Steve chants the name when another contraction begins to build. His body seizes up from the stabbing pain and the tears in his eyes roll down his cheeks.

“I know. Just brea-”

Steve screams and his back arches off the bed. Tony is left to watch in horror as the pain takes full control of Steve's body and mind. His eyes roll to the back of his head and he goes limp.

“Steve!” Tony cries out, and he gently shakes Steve’s lifeless form. “Steve, wake up. Please wake-”

Steve stirs, a small groan escaping him before his eyes flutter open. “Tony?”

“Oh my God.” Tony breathes out, a wave of relief washing over when he hears Steve’s voice. “Don’t ever do that again.”

“What happened?”

“You fainted. God, this isn’t right, Steve. None of this is fair. I want this kid out. I can’t take watching you suffer anymore.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I-” Steve is cut off when another contraction starts and he reaches for Tony’s hand, squeezing it as hard as he can. His eyes are going wide and Tony knows what’s about to happen next.

“Steve, just hang in there. Steve-”

He goes limp again and this time Tony rushes out of the room to find Strange.

“You need to do something now!” Tony demands once the Doctor is back in the room. Steve is just starting to come to, but Tony knows he will be out again when another contraction hits. “He can’t do this anymore!”

“I know that, Stark,” Stephen growls. He slips on his gloves and moves past Tony to start another exam. He makes it fast, not wanting to put his patient through anymore discomfort. “Steve, you’re at ten. It’s time to deliver this baby.”

Steve nods and let’s out breathy, “Okay.”

He’s terrified and it must show because Tony is rushing back to his side and taking his hand. “It’s okay. You’re almost done. It will be over soon.”

The room fills with more people, and it makes Steve grow uncomfortable. He was used to seeing the medical staff throughout his stay, but now he didn’t want anyone in the room but Tony and Strange.

Steve groans when another contraction begins to build and he gets into position, scooting closer toward the edge of the bed and spreading his legs. The intense pressure is back, only this time Steve knows what it means. He tries to hold back, not ready to give birth, but his body works against him and bears down on its own.

“Tony!” Steve cries when the pressure builds and he grunts, giving in to what his body wants. The hold he has on Tony’s hand tightens, and he knows that he’s probably hurting his boyfriend, but Tony never complains.

“I’m right here, Steve. Just keep pushing. Focus on Pete,” Tony says, using his free hand to hook under Steve’s knee and keep him open.

Steve grunts again and leans forward, pushing along with the contraction. The pain in his belly is easily ignored now that a burning sensation has made itself known. He squirms, trying to get away from the sting, but the grip Tony has on him keeps him in place.

His cries escalate when the burning worsens. “Tony, please!” he begs, turning his head so that he can meet Tony’s eyes. “Make it stop. Please do something. Do something, please!”

“I can’t, hon. I wish I could,” Tony gently brushes Steve’s hair back. “You can do it.”

Steve is ready to protest, but the only sound that slips past his lips is a scream from the agonizing pain. The contraction finally ends and he’s able to catch his breath. He slumps back against the bed, chest rising and falling rapidly and face flushed from the exertion.

The break doesn’t last long and he’s forced to do it all over again. It feels like an eternity before Strange announces that the head is coming into view. Tony’s eyes dart down just in time to catch a glimpse of the dark hair that’s starting to emerge.

“Steve, I see him! He’s coming! Keep pushing!” Tony encourages, his voice full of excitement.

Those words affect Steve just the same and he pushes harder. The burning between his legs intensifies, followed by a stretch and this time Steve lets out a small scream.

“Push, Rogers,” Stephen is instructing, and Steve shakes his head. “You need to push. The head is almost out.”

“I can’t.” Steve pants and he throws his head back against the pillow. “I can’t do this.”

“You can. Come on. Push.”

Steve only shakes his head. “I can’t.”

“Hey, Steve,” Tony says, softly and he rubs his thumb along Steve’s hand. He smiles when Steve meets his gaze. “You can do this. You said it yourself.”

“I was wrong, Tony. I can’t do it. I thought I could but-”

“Shh, stop. It’s okay. You said you can do this and I believed you-everyone did. So you can’t give up. Don’t stop fighting now. Look how far you've come. You can’t quit now. You’re not a quitter, Steve. I know you can do this.”

“Tony,” Steve sobs when the pain returns and he grips Tony’s hand as hard as he can. “I can’t. I ca-”

The contraction peaks and Steve is forced to bear down, screaming when he feels more of his son’s head slip free. Strange is still instructing him and Steve pushes harder, determined now to get his son out safely and rid himself of the excruciating pain.

“Good! One more!” Stephen urges.

Steve doesn’t have it in him to keep going. He feels drained and it becomes difficult to focus on anything but the pain between his legs. But he forces himself to keep pushing. It was almost over.

More of his son is emerging and the thought of getting to hold his son in his arms is enough for Steve to keep going. He takes a lungful of air and curls forward, putting more effort into his pushing. It must be working because Tony is growing excited.

With a pained bellow he pushes one last time, and then his son is slipping free. Steve collapses back, panting heavily. It was over.

He knew what was supposed to come next and he mustered enough strength to lift his head, needing to see his son. In the Doctor’s arms is Peter, and Steve reaches out for him, only to be denied when his son is passed to one of the nurses.

“No...please,” Steve begs, his voice hoarse from the screaming.

“He’s okay, Steve,” Tony whispers, leaning in to press a kiss to the side of Steve’s head. “He’s so beautiful.”

“I want to see…I want to hold him...please.”

“You will,” Stephen tells him, “but he needs to be looked over, and you’re not finished yet. You need to pass the placenta.”

“I want my son,” Steve begs again, craning his neck to get another glimpse of his baby. His vision blurs, stealing his opportunity to see his son again.

Steve lies back, his fuzzy vision making it impossible to make out anyone in the room. He relies on his other senses, and his ears strain for the one sound that he should be hearing. Why wasn’t his son crying?

“Is he-” Steve doesn’t get a chance to finish that thought. His eyelids feel heavy and they flutter momentarily, only to open when Steve fights the exhaustion that threatens to take over. “Tony?”

“Steve, I’m here.” He sounds concerned. “Steve, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t...Tony, I don’t feel...good.” Steve’s eyes are fluttering again and he does everything in his power to keep himself awake.

He can still hear Tony’s voice, but it’s starting to fade away. Strange’s voice does the same, getting softer and softer until Steve can’t hear them anymore. He doesn’t remember the room being so bright, but the light that greets him brings a sense of tranquility. All he wants is to give in and let the light consume him.

A familiar voice fills his ears. He knows that voice.

_Keep fighting_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you this chapter was long! And hard on poor Steve :( I used some of my labor experiences as inspiration for writing those scenes. I passed out every time I had a contraction...I don't remember much else. Anyway, Peter is finally here but I told ya'll that it was going to be bad! I will do my best to update soon because I ended it on another cliffhanger...sorry!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up, this chapter might be a little emotional. Tell me what you think! 😊

The first thing Tony notices is the blood. It’s everywhere, making it almost impossible to pinpoint its source, but Tony knows exactly where it’s coming from and it makes his own blood run cold. The stench is overwhelming, completely masking the sterile smell the room used to have.

Tony’s eyes land on the latex gloves Strange is wearing, taking notice of the red smears that now cover them. Even the once white sheets are stained from the crimson liquid. Tony wishes he never allowed his eyes to trail a little further, at least then he wouldn’t have tormented himself with the image of Steve’s bloodied legs.

He’s seen this before. He was living his nightmare.

Then he notices Steve’s lifeless form and that’s when time slows down. The beeping of the machines and the voices of the staff drown out into muffled sounds; the only thing filling Tony’s ears is the rush of blood from his pounding heart.

“Steve?” He finds himself slowly reaching out, needing to touch, needing to confirm if this was another nightmare or reality. His fingers brush against warm skin and he pulls his hand back quickly, as if he had been burned from the touch. He’s able to confirm from that touch alone that this was real. He was losing Steve.

“Steve, please…” Tony begs, reaching out again and this time taking Steve’s hand in his own. “Please, don’t. You promised. Come on, Steve you promised. Don’t-”

Someone is touching his shoulder now and Tony fights the urge to turn and face them, not wanting to give anyone but Steve his attention. But the person is persistent and that’s when he realizes the staff is trying to escort him out. He shrugs the nurse off, only for another to drag him away from Steve.

“Stark!” Stephen’s voice cuts through the commotion, and Tony has no choice but to meet the Doctor’s gaze. “You need to leave.”

“No, please! I’m not leaving him! Please!” Tony’s pleas land on deaf ears and he finds himself being pulled further away from Steve.

Tony grips the Doctor’s shoulder on his way out, his fingers stretching the fabric of the scrubs he’s wearing. “Don’t you let him die, Strange! Don’t you let him die!”

He doesn’t get a response and he shrugs one of the nurses off when she continues to lead him out. The door shuts behind him, silencing the commotion in the room. Tony’s fist comes crashing down on the door, a cry of frustration escaping him.

The tears follow soon after, leaving behind wet tracks along his face. Tony wipes the tears away angrily, knowing that he can’t show any signs of weakness, not when he has to be strong. But he’s only human and humans are capable of breaking. He’s broken, shattered into a million little pieces and only one person can put those pieces back together.

Just the thought of losing Steve brings on a fresh wave of pain, and this time Tony can’t keep himself from going under.

Now that he’s alone, the tears are flowing freely and he no longer has the urge to wipe them away. He’s always been a closed off person; not many got to see this side of him. Rhodey and Pepper had been the first to witness him with his walls down, and then it had been Steve. It took some time for them to get to that place in their relationship for Tony to show Steve this other side, but once he allowed Steve in, it was a like the veil had been lifted and there was no pressure on him to keep the strong act going. Steve was always there for him.

Tony chokes back the sob that tries to escape. He wonders if this is going to be like those times in the past, if Steve is going to be there for him now. Tony’s at his most vulnerable and he needs Steve now more than ever. Steve had made a promise to keep fighting, to not give up when it became too tough. Tony wonders if that’s just another promise that couldn’t be kept.

The soft sound of footsteps is what rescues Tony from his noisy brain, and for a moment his thoughts on Steve are put on hold. It’s not until he notices Natasha coming towards him with balloons does all of his thoughts and fears come flooding back.

Natasha offers a warm smile, completely unaware of the situation. Her smile disappears instantly and her brows draw into a deep frown of concern.

“Why are you out here? Are you okay?” She asks. It’s tempting to blurt out the truth, but the last thing Tony wants is to worry everyone else.

“Always,” he tries to force a smile, but his cover has already been blown and Natasha is pressing for more.

“Tony.” Her tone makes Tony feel like he’s being scolded. “What’s going on?”

And just like that he caves. “He had the baby,” he says, fighting back the urge to break down again.

“Okay.” Natasha says slowly, the frown still on her face. “Then why are you out here and not leaping for joy? Is he okay?”

“Pete is…” Tony trails off. He honestly doesn’t know how to answer the question. He hadn’t heard his son cry and there was a good chance that Peter was struggling to hold on just as much as Steve. It was all too much to handle and he felt helpless.

“Tony?” Natasha is reaching out for him and that’s when Tony realizes that he must have lost his balance. He tries to wave her off, but she’s persistent and there was no point in fighting. She leads him over to a chair and forces him to sit, then she’s occupying the one beside him.

The shaky breath that escapes him wasn’t what he had intended to come out, and Natasha quickly notices and takes his hand. “Tony, what happened?” She asks.

“He couldn’t handle it,” Tony replies. The image of Steve struggling to bring their son into the world replays in his mind. “It was too much on him.”

“Oh my God. He’s not-Tony, please tell me he’s not-”

“I don’t know.” Tony slips his hand free from hers and leans forward, clasping both of his hands together and letting out a small sob. “I’m gonna lose him.”

“No, you’re not.” Natasha assures, laying a comforting hand over his shoulder. “You really think he’s not going to fight? Tony, he’s been doing it his whole life. This time isn’t any different.”

“You weren’t there. You didn’t see how much it broke him, how much it’s been breaking him. I knew this was…” Tony trails off with a heavy sigh.

“I know, but you know how much this meant to him. He wanted to do this.”

Tony shakes his head and rises to his feet, not wanting to hear her words. He’s lost count of how many times he’s heard Steve say something similar. He had wanted their son more than anything, and Tony did too. But not like this. Not if it meant losing Steve.

Tony hates that he’s feeling that way toward his son, and he wonders if it’s just the current situation that’s making him think so negatively. It hadn’t been the first time.

“Tony,” Natasha’s soft voice brings him back. He can’t look at her as she continues. “Steve wanted this and-”

“He told me to choose,” Tony cuts her off. His eyes burn from the fresh tears that desperately want to escape. He takes a deep breath to calm himself, hating how shaky it sounds, and he turns to face her again. “He told me to choose the baby over him and I...I don’t think I can. That’s wrong isn’t it? I should be able to choose my own son but I can’t.”

“You won’t have to make a choice like that. Steve will come through. It’s going to be okay.”

Natasha stands to join him, and with her free hand intertwines her fingers with Tony’s.

The silence that surrounds them only increases Tony’s thoughts, and he finds himself worrying about Steve again. He needs a distraction from it all and that’s when he really notices the blue balloons in Natasha’s hand.

“You got balloons after all?” Tony makes a quick gesture toward the bunch and Natasha’s eyes follow.

“Yeah,” she smiles, gripping the strings tighter and bringing them closer. “I thought maybe they’d cheer him up like the bear did.”

“Where’s everyone else?”

“Sleeping. At least, I know Bruce is. You told us it was going to be a long night.”

“I’m sorry. I should have told you all sooner.”

“It’s okay. Do you want me to let everyone know?” Natasha asks.

Tony shakes his head at first, then he’s signing. “I didn’t want to worry anyone, but maybe you should. Just in case…”

“It’s going to be okay. I promise.”

“Don’t,” Tony warns. “He promised me the same thing and-”

The sound of the door interrupts and both Tony and Natasha are glancing in its direction. A million questions are flooding Tony’s mind and he’s ready to start asking them. Then he catches sight of the Doctor’s face, and the most important question he has is silently being answered.

“No. Please no. No no no.”

His legs buckle from under him and this time Natasha is unable to catch him. He hits the floor, ignoring the pain that flares up around his knees. It’s nothing but a dull ache in comparison to the excruciating pain he’s already feeling.

Steve was gone.

* * *

There’s no pain. A warmth only peace can bring surrounds him. When he opens his eyes, the scenery around him has changed and he no longer finds himself in the private hospital of the compound.

The old tenement is easily recognizable-he’s standing outside of his childhood home.

The rest of the scene is absent. There’s no noisy Brooklyn streets; all of it was gone. Only his home remained, like it was the only place he needed to be.

Steve steps forward, one hand coming out in front of him to wrap around the doorknob. There’s no reason for him to knock, and he slowly turns the knob. He’s greeted with a familiar musical tune, one that had been burned into his brain. Something is cooking on the stove and Steve follows both the smell and sounds that remind him of home.

Then he sees her.

Her back is turned, but he doesn’t need to see her face to know who she is. Her blond hair is tied up in a bun and Steve just knows that if he could see her face that he would find sparkling blue eyes.

He doesn’t make a sound, not that he needs to for her to notice him and she turns, a bright smile appearing over her face at the sight of him.

“Steve.” Her voice is warm and comforting, a sound Steve didn’t know he desperately needed to hear. She comes closer and he follows until the distance between them is closed. Her hands come up to cup his face, just like she always did when she greeted him.

“Ma.” Steve leans into the familiar touch. It’s been so long since he’s been able to feel her.

“You came home,” she says, blue eyes sparkling even brighter. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.” Steve doesn’t even realize he’s crying until his mother brushes away the fallen tears from his face. It reminds him of the all the times he would come home battered and bruised from another fight. She had always been there waiting for him, ready to comfort him when he walked through the door.

Sarah brings her son closer, wrapping her arms around him lovingly. Steve clings to her, eyes falling shut when more tears threaten to fall. He’s missed this.

She holds him a little longer, soft hands cradling his head just like he remembers. She had done this countless times before. Whether he was sick or coming home with another black eye, she would always hold him until the pain went away.

There was no pain now.

Steve wants to stay here with her. There’s no pain and suffering, only peace and comfort. It’s home.

“I want to stay here,” Steve tells her. She doesn’t respond at first, and she continues to hold him close.

“You can’t stay, Steve,” she says. He can hear the hurt in her tone. She pulls away, leaving her hands on his shoulders and their eyes meet again. “You have to go back.”

“I want to be here with you.”

“I know, but you need to keep fighting.”

“Ma, I tried. I’m not that strong. I can’t...I can’t get back up.”

“Oh, Steve,” his mother reaches out to brush away more fallen tears. “You can get back up. You have no quit in you.”

“I don’t know it I can,” Steve admits, more tears spilling from his eyes.

“You can. Steve, your son needs you to be there for him. Fight for him. Give everything you got for that little boy.”

“Just like you did for me. You never gave up on me, even when everyone told you you should.”

“Because I saw something that no one else could see. You’re so strong, Steve. You’re a fighter. Keep fighting.”

“Ma-”

“Don’t be afraid, Sweetheart,” Sarah assures with a warm smile. “Get back up.”

Slowly, everything around him begins to fade. She’s next to dissolve and Steve reaches out for her, needing to feel her one last time. Their fingers brush for a moment, and when he looks up, he can still see her smiling face.

“Keep fighting,” Are her last words, then she’s fading away.

Those words echo in his mind, and he finds the strength to get back up. His son needed him to keep fighting.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next chapter! I'm so glad I was able to get this updated as fast as I did. It's on the short side, but it's time Tony met Peter :)

It doesn’t feel real. Even after he replays Strange’s words in his mind, he can’t grasp the idea of Steve being gone.

This all has to be a dream. Another nightmare that he’s forced to suffer through until he wakes up. It’s only in his dreams does he end up losing Steve or anyone else he’s ever cared about. It’s not supposed to be a part of his reality.

Someone is touching him and that’s when Tony realizes that Natasha is still there. She’s on the floor beside him, tears running down her face as she tries to comfort him. She needs comfort too, but Tony can’t bring himself to give it to her. He feels numb. Empty. Hollow.

He’s aware of his own tears trailing down his face, and the sob that is desperately trying to claw its way out of his throat. For the first time, he doesn’t care about putting on a mask and hiding away from everyone. He’s hurting. The pain he’s experiencing is one of the worst he’s ever felt, and he’s been beaten and bruised in the past. None of that compared to this.

“Please.” The word meshes with the sob he had been trying to hold in. He stares up at the Doctor, tear-filled eyes pleading for the man to tell him that it wasn’t true. That Steve wasn’t gone.

“Tony-”

Whatever bit of composure Tony had left disappears at the sound of his name. He’s never heard Strange call him by his first name. They were always on a last name basis or Tony would use one of his nicknames for the man just to piss him off. That was how their relationship worked. But hearing his first name leave the Doctor’s lips and the sympathy behind it, only confirmed that this was no dream. It was reality.

“You promised. He-he promised!” Tony shouts. His body trembles from the mixture of emotions that flood through him. Pain. Guilt. Betrayal.

“Tony, I did everything-” Stephen tried to explain, only to get cut off.

“Everything you could?” Tony finishes for him. “No, you didn’t. He would still be here if you did. You told me you would help him.”

“I’m sorry.” The apology is sincere and Tony can see the guilt swimming in the Doctor’s eyes. Maybe he did do everything that he could. Maybe he was truly sorry for what happened. But Tony wasn’t ready to forgive him. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

“Can I see-” Tony stops himself. He’s not sure if he wants to see Steve right now. It would make it real if he did. And he wasn’t ready to accept that any of this was real.

“In a moment,” Stephen answers. “They’re working on cleaning up and moving your son-”

“My son?” Tony rises to his feet. He gets up too fast and sways, and luckily Natasha is there to catch him this time. He quickly waves her off. “I’m fine,” he mutters, then he turns back to Stephen. “What’s wrong with my son?”

“He’s having some trouble breathing on his own so we’re moving him to another room. I know you have the resources here but in the case he needs to be moved-”

“You’re gonna take him away from me too? He stays here. I don’t care what needs to be done, but he stays here.”

The door is opening again and this time it’s a few members of the staff that emerges. The incubator they’re wheeling holds his son, and Tony is able to get the first real glimpse of his son. He immediately regrets it.

Peter was so small. Too small in Tony’s opinion. He knew babies came in all shapes and sizes, but there was something about his son’s tiny form that made his stomach churn. He never pictured his own baby to look like this.

He wants to rush toward his son, but he’s hesitant and instead he allows the staff to wheel him down the hall toward another room. There’s a part of him that wants to follow his son and comfort him, but the other half wants to stay by Steve’s side. Then he remembers the promise that he had made to Steve.

“I need to see him,” Tony says, eyes still trained on the incubator that is being pushed further down the hall.

“Once we have him cleaned-”

“No,” Tony interrupts Strange. “My son. I need to be with my son.”

Stephen nods his head. “Of course.”

At those words, Tony is ready to take off running down the hall toward his son, but then he remembers that Natasha is still lingering beside him. “Do you want to...I don’t think I can…”

“No,” Natasha shakes her head, smiling sadly. “You go. I better let the others know-” she cuts herself off, teary eyes darting in the direction of the closed door that anyone refuses to step through. “I don’t want to see him alone.”

“I’ll be there. I just need to check on Pete first.”

Natasha nods her head. She sniffs and uses her sleeve to rub her nose. “It’s going to be okay,” she tries to assure, but Tony can tell that even she is struggling to believe her own words.

Tony doesn’t respond. He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to say. He was finding it hard to believe that anything was going to be okay. Steve was gone and now his son was fighting for his own life. Nothing was okay.

“Go,” Natasha gently urges. “He needs you.”

“He needs…” Tony can’t bring himself to carry out that thought. He was all his son had. He had to keep his promise to Steve.

“He needs you,” Natasha tells him again.

It’s tempting to have Natasha come with him-there was no doubt in his mind that she would reject the offer-but he knows he needs to be the first one in contact with his son. Peter needed him.

Peter is even smaller up close. Tony knew there would be risks of delivering early, but he thought the serum would be doing its part in keeping his son alive. It had no problem focusing on him the past few months, and now Tony wasn’t about to believe that it was going to stop working. Just because it gave up on Steve didn’t mean it was going to do the same to his son.

Tony hasn’t touched him yet. The protective gear he has on promises to keep any germs from coming into contact with Peter, but his body was so little and frail and Tony was afraid even the slightest touch would break him. He’s been assured that touching was okay, but the fear of causing anymore harm to his son spooks him and he keeps his arms to his side.

He lets his eyes roam over Peter’s small frame, taking in every detail. The first thing he notices is the breathing tube in his nose; it reminds him of the one Steve was forced to wear. Not wanting to think about Steve, he focuses on the stickers that are placed on his baby’s chest, and he follows the wires that connect to the monitors beside him.

Tony finds himself reaching forward and slipping one arm through the hole in the incubator, gloved fingers gently brushing against his son’s tiny hand. Peter stirs, his eyes open momentarily before they are falling shut again.

The dark hair atop his head was a Stark trait, but everything else reminded Tony so much of Steve.

He carefully moves his hand until it’s hovering over Peter’s head; that hesitation to touch him is still there. He fights back the fear and allows himself to gently brush his fingers along his son’s head, wishing the gloves on his hand weren’t blocking the feel of the soft hair.

“Hey, Pete,” Tony says softly, a small smile forming over his lips when Peter opens his eyes again. He wonders if Peter recognizes his voice. “I’m so sorry, kiddo. This wasn’t…” Tony sighs sadly and continues to gently stroke his son’s head.

“I’m so sorry,” he continues. “I promised to be a good dad and I failed. I promised to keep you safe and now...now I failed at that, too. I never should have thought the way I did- I was just so scared. I don’t know how to be a father and then with everything that happened...God, Pete I’m so sorry. Please hang on. Your papa gave up so much for you, so you have to fight this. Please, fight this. I can’t lose you, either.”

Tony can’t hold back the tears any longer, and they flow freely down his face, followed by the sobs that he was trying to conceal. He needs his son to fight, to win the battle that Steve couldn’t. He already lost Steve. He can’t lose his son.

“Tony?” The sound of his name snaps Tony from his thoughts and he glances up, eyes meeting Natasha's familiar green ones. “It’s Steve.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah...another cliffhanger! Sorry! I'm sure you all know what's going on with Steve ;) And Peter will be okay. He still has the serum and will recover! The serum will also start working again on Steve. YAY! Anyway, I will try and get started on the next chapter and hopefully have that posted soon! Thank you so much for reading!!


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve meets Peter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had wanted to post this earlier, but my brain wasn't having it and I think I rewrote parts of this chapter like five times. It's not very long, but I swear I did my best! I hope you all like it!

That sense of peace no longer resides within him. The pain is back, bringing with it the suffering that he thought he had been lucky enough to escape. He tries to go back, to be with his mother again. But then he remembers her words.

_You can’t stay. You have to go back._

He needs to get back up and keep fighting. Tony needed him; his friends needed him; his son needed him. Those were the people he needed to fight for.

That bright light he saw before is gone, leaving him in complete darkness and silence. He needs to open his eyes, to wake up. He wonders if he even can. There’s only one thing he can do: he fights.

The spark that ignites inside of him is familiar, transporting him back to when it all began. The pain and the inability to move under the strain of it all is worth it.

That spark grows stronger, awakening his body as it courses through him. He screams into the black void that continues to surround him. His cries go unheard. He needs to fight harder. He needs to wake up.

A light greets him. It’s dim and far away, but Steve knows to follow it. The closer he gets to the light, the brighter it becomes. It promises life; his second chance.

Then he hears a voice through that light. He knows that voice.

_Steve._

He fights harder, giving every bit of strength he has to get back up.

The darkness around him begins to fade, only the light is surrounding him, bringing him closer to that voice. He’s almost there.

He awakens with a gasp, his lungs expanding to drag in every bit of air that they can. The simple task of breathing isn’t a struggle anymore. His eyes shoot open, and he doesn’t find himself in a world devoid of color. Everything is bright. It takes him back to the time when he first opened his eyes and discovered a whole new world.

Someone is squeezing his hand and he hears the voice again, his head slowly turning toward the sound. He’s greeted with the sight of the person he can’t live without; the person he would lay down his life for; the person he needed to fight for.

“Tony.” He doesn’t recognize the sound of his own voice. It’s hoarse and his throat burns from the use.

A smile breaks across Tony’s face; Steve thought he’d never see that smile again.

“Steve.” Tony chokes on the name and he rests his head near Steve’s side, his hand still intertwined with Steve’s own, and his body trembles from the sobs that escape him.

“Tony.” Steve reaches out for him, needing to take away the pain that he’s currently suffering through. Tony looks up at the sound of his name, his eyes bright with tears. “I’m here,” Steve assures, gently brushing away the falling tears. “I’m here.”

“I thought I lost you,” Tony says, bringing Steve’s hand up to his lips and pressing a soft kiss to the warm skin. “I was so scared. Don’t do that again. Don’t ever leave me again.”

“I won’t. I promised, didn’t I?”

A small laugh escapes Tony and he wipes away at the tears that haven’t stopped falling. “I love you so much. When I thought you were gone-”

The choked sob that Tony makes brings tears to Steve’s own eyes. He never meant to leave. He never meant to hurt the one person he promised he would never hurt.

“I know,” Steve reaches out for him again and Tony leans into the soft touch. “I’m here and I promise I’m never going to leave you again. I never meant...Tony, I’m sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen.”

“You scared the hell out of me. I need you. Pete needs you.”

At the mention of his son, Steve makes an attempt to sit up, quickly regretting the action when a throbbing pain shoots through his middle. It all comes flooding back.

“Tony, where is he? Oh God tell me he’s okay. Please tell me he’s-”

“Steve. Honey, relax.” Tony places one hand over Steve’s chest to keep him in place. “You need to take it easy.”

Steve shakes his head in protest and sits up, groaning softly when the throb in his middle flares up. “What happened?” He asks.

Tony doesn’t answer the question. Instead, Stephen is coming over and it’s just now that Steve realizes the man had been in the room the entire time. It’s not just him present, a few members of the medical staff and Natasha are lingering.

“How long was I…” Steve trails off, the grip Tony has on him tightens and Steve can’t bring himself to continue that thought. “How’s the baby?” He asks instead.

“Right now he’s stable,” Stephen asks, stepping closer until he’s standing near the edge of the bed. “We have him hooked up to a ventilator right now just until he can breathe on his own. He’s in good hands, Rogers.”

“Can I see him? Please?” Steve pleads. He never got a chance to hold his son. Peter had been ripped away from him the moment he entered the world. All he wanted was to see his son and make sure he was okay.

“You will. But first I want to check you over. How you’re alive is-”

“It’s the serum,” Steve cuts in. “I felt it. Before I woke up I could feel it. I’m okay now.”

Stephen gives a small nods, but he still appears unsure. “I know, but I’d like to check you over just in case. You lost a lot of blood, Steve. Your uterus failed to contract after the birth, resulting in postpartum hemorrhaging. I did everything I could, but the damage to your uterus was too great and I needed to remove it in order to stop the bleeding.”

“You mean I-” Steve glances down at his belly, one hand falling to the spot where his son used to be. He wonders if the scar is still there or if the serum had already healed the damaged flesh.

“I’m sorry,” Stephen apologizes, and Steve snaps his head back up the Doctor’s direction.

“You did everything you could.” Steve lets out a sigh and he turns to face Tony, offering a small smile when he catches the concerned look on his face. “It’s okay, Tony."

Tony opens his mouth to say something, only to change his mind and shut it. There’s a part of him that’s relieved that Steve never has to go through an experience like this again, but the other half is disappointed that they will never get to give Peter a sibling. Growing up Tony had always wanted a little brother to play with-it got lonely being an only child. He had his robots to fill the void, but sometimes it wasn’t enough. Now his son would have to go through the same thing.

There’s other ways for them to add to their family if it came down to it. But that was a conversation saved for another time. Right now Peter was enough.

* * *

Steve wasn’t completely healed yet. The serum has started improving most of the issues he was forced to endure during the pregnancy, but the labor had been difficult on his weak body and he was still feeling the effects. He’s still being closely monitored and precautions are being taken just in case anymore issues were to arise.

Tony never leaves his side, and Steve knows he probably won’t for a while. Steve has lost count of how many times he’s assured his boyfriend that everything was fine now. He doesn’t blame him for being so scared and cautious.

It’s not just Tony that smothers him. The team has finally been given permission to see him, and Steve immediately feels guilty when he takes in the pain-filled and worried expression on their faces.

Bucky is the first to greet him. His steel blue eyes are shiny with tears, and Steve can tell by how red they appear that he had been crying for a while. He immediately leans down to wrap Steve in a hug, body trembling from the soft sobs that escape him. Steve holds him tightly, his own tears falling from his eyes.

“You’re such a punk,” Bucky says once he pulls away. “I told you not to do anything stupid.”

“I’m okay, Buck. I’m sorry.” The guilt is still eating at him. He never meant to hurt anyone.

Sam is the next to approach, and he reaches out to pat Bucky on the shoulder. “I think this is the first time I’ve seen you cry,” he jokes, and Bucky shrugs him off. Sam chuckles and turns to Steve. “Was dying once not good enough for you?”

Steve huffs out a laugh. “I guess not.”

“You really worried us, Cap. Don’t pull that shit on us again,” Sam says, his voice taking on a more serious tone.

“We’re glad you’re okay,” Natasha comes over and sits near his legs. She reaches for his hand, careful not to disturb the heart monitor that’s taped to his finger, and gently brushes her thumb over his knuckles. “You better not pull a stunt like that again, Rogers.”

“I won’t.” Steve assures with a smile. Then his smile is faltering a sad sigh escapes him. “I won’t be doing this again. I can’t...I can’t have anymore.”

“Oh.” Natasha frowns at first, thens she’s squeezing his hand gently and offering a small smile. “I guess we have something else in common now.”

“Yeah. Kind of wish it was something else, though.”

“Me, too.”

“Okay enough of the sad stuff,” Sam says, and all eyes fall on him. “Everything’s okay now. I think we’re all ready to meet the kid.”

“Where is he?” Bucky asks with a frown.

Steve can’t bring himself to answer the question. He hasn’t had any updates on his son and it was starting to worry him. Strange had assured that Peter was going to pull through, but that was a couple of hours ago and Steve was beginning to fear the worst.

Tony decides to step in when he realizes that Steve is unable to do anymore talking. “Pete’s-” he starts, only to get cut off when the door to the room is opening and Strange is entering the room. The silence that follows is heavy.

“Your son is doing much better,” Strange says. “You can see him now.”

* * *

There’s a rush of guilt that floods through Steve when he’s greeted with the sight of his son. It was never supposed to be Peter that was meant to suffer; Steve was willing to go through all of the hardships just to make sure his son didn’t have to, but somehow it had all backfired. It wasn’t fair.

It hurts to watch his son struggle to keep fighting, and he wonders if this was the same pain his mother experienced with him. He promises to be like her. He wasn’t going to give up on his son, and he was going to do whatever it took to make sure Peter pulled through.

Tony is pushing the wheelchair closer, granting Steve better access to their son. The upclose visual isn’t any better. The tubes and wires surrounding his son only brings on a new wave of guilt.

“You can touch him,” Tony’s voice cuts through his thoughts and Steve glances up at him. He must appear unsure because Tony is assuring him. “It’s okay. I was able to do it earlier.”

“How long were you with him?” Steve questions, eyes falling back on his son’s small form.

“Not long. Once Natasha told me you were waking up…”

Tony grows quiet and Steve decides not to press for anymore. It’s not just him and Peter that are trying to make a recovery. It had been hard on Tony and Steve feels guilty for putting him through all of that. It wasn’t fair to him.

“I’m sorry,” Steve says quietly. “These past few months and then what happened...Tony, I’m so sorry. You had to watch me-”

Peter is stirring, the small whimper he makes quickly catching Steve’s attention. He needs to touch him. To let him know that he was there for him.

Steve reaches into the opening of the incubator, only to retract his hand when one of the nurses' voices fills his ears. “You can hold him now,” she says.

Tony steps in to help Steve out of the wheelchair and into a more comfortable chair provided by the room. Steve can’t help the small wince that flashes across his face when he lowers himself down in the chair. The serum was trying to play catch up and he knew his body wasn’t going to be completely healed overnight.

Steve holds his arms out, only to be instructed to lower his hospital gown down so that Peter can be laid over his bare chest; skin-to-skin contact was important and benefited both father and baby.

The nurse is bringing Peter over, and carefully positions the wires and tubes that are still connected to him. Steve has never been so terrified in his life. He had never held something so small and fragile. But the moment his son is carefully laid over his chest, all of that fear vanishes, leaving in its place a happiness Steve has never felt before.

A lightweight blanket is gently placed over them both, then the nurse is backing away to give them some time to bond. Steve keeps his grip on his son firm, but not too tight. He doesn’t know if his superhuman strength has returned yet, and the last thing he wants to do is apply too much pressure on his son’s weak body.

He’s been assured that Peter was going to be fine. There were still traces of the serum in his veins, and it was the reason why Peter was making such a quick recovery, but Steve is still wary.

Steve looks down at his son, trying to take in as many details of him as possible. He catches sight of the dark hair poking out of the blue hat, and he smiles. “He did take after you,” he says, glancing up at Tony.

Tony smiles. “Yeah, but I think it’s just the hair that he got from me. The rest is all you.”

Steve stares back down when Peter stirs, a small whimper escaping him. “It’s okay, Pete,” Steve soothes him. “I’m here.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some more bonding with Peter!

Sleeping and resting was the last thing on Steve’s mind. All he could think about was being with his son and getting to take him home, but in order to be released from medical, he needed to be strong enough to get the okay from Strange, and that of course required plenty of rest.

The serum was working faster now and Steve was starting to feel like himself again, but it wasn’t enough for Strange to release him. Steve wonders if the Doctor is being cautious because he doesn’t want a repeat of what happened, or because he feels guilty. Maybe it’s a bit of both.

Steve doesn’t blame Strange for what happened and he knows that the Doctor did everything that could be done for him. There’s still a feeling of disappointment knowing that he could never get pregnant again, but maybe it was for the best. The serum already proved that it wasn't compatible with pregnancy, and the last thing Steve wanted was to put Tony through more suffering.

It’s late and Steve knows he needs to sleep, but all he can think about is his son. Peter was doing better and there was talk of taking him home soon. Steve couldn’t wait to take Peter back to the privacy of the apartment and bond with him more.

Tony is fast asleep, a state Steve rarely finds him in. He frowns, wondering how Tony could be comfortable in the chair he hasn't moved from in days. Tony is leaning forward, using Steve’s lap as a pillow to rest his head. It doesn’t look comfortable from where Steve is sitting, but he doesn’t have the heart to disturb him.

Steve shifts in the bed, wincing slightly from the tenderness in his lower belly. The serum had healed many things, but the large scar running through his middle was healing at a much slower pace.

The movement he makes causes Tony to stir and Steve holds his breath, praying that he didn’t wake his sleeping boyfriend. Tony stirs again, then his eyes are fluttering open. It only takes a second for Tony to realize that Steve is staring down at him and he jumps up, immediately fearing the worst.

“Steve, what’s wrong?” He asks, taking Steve’s hand. “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay,” Steve assures. “Just can’t sleep.”

Tony lets out a sigh of relief and leans back in his chair, using the heel of his hand to rub at his eyes. “Thank God. I mean that sucks but...it’s better than something else.”

“Go back to sleep, Tony. I’m sure I’ll join you soon.”

“Forget it. I’m awake.” Tony stretches in the chair, letting out a small groan when his back pops. “Remind me to get better chairs for this place.”

“You could have slept on the couch or upstairs,” Steve reminds him and Tony quickly shakes his head.

“I’m not leaving you or Pete. I can manage. But I hope to God you both are released tomorrow. I miss our bed and being able to cuddle with you.” Tony smiles and takes Steve’s hand again. As much as he tries to hide it, the guilt and pain is still there. All of his emotions are shown through his eyes, and without his usual sunglasses to mask them, Steve is able to see what Tony’s feeling.

“It’s not your fault,” Steve says softly. Tony huffs out a small laugh and tries to pull away, but Steve brings him back and their eyes meet again. He notices how shiny Tony’s appears. “Tony, don’t take the blame for this one. If anyone should be blamed it should be me.”

“I wouldn’t say it’s your fault. All you wanted was a family, and I-”Tony sighs and squeezes Steve’s hand. “And I almost tried to ruin it. I never should have tried to convince you to…”

“It’s okay.”

“Only it’s not. I hate myself for thinking the way I did. One look at that kid made me realize that I would do anything for him. And I get it now. I get why you did what you did, why you suffered. I get it.”

“I would do anything for him.”

“I know. And I would do anything for both of you.” Tony rises from the chair and leans over until he’s hovering over Steve. He’s gentle when he connects their lips, making sure not to apply too much of his weight against Steve’s healing body. When they break apart, Tony rests his forehead against Steve’s. “I love you so much,” he whispers.

Steve reaches up to cup Tony’s face, using his thumb to brush along his cheek. “I love you, too,” he says, then he brings Tony back in for another kiss.

Tony is the first to pull away, moving up to place a kiss to Steve’s forehead. “Get some sleep.”

“I’m okay. You need to-” Steve cuts himself off the minute he catches the look being sent his way. There was no point in protesting when Tony was in protective mode. “What about you?”

“I don’t really sleep anyway, so it’s fine.” Tony makes himself comfortable in the chair he was previously occupying. He takes Steve’s hand again, gently brushing his thumb over his knuckles.

Steve lies back, his eyes growing heavy the moment his head hits the pillow. With Tony’s promise to be there, he’s able to drift off peacefully.

He’s not sure what time it is. The room is still dark, only a sliver of light is creeping through the cracks of the blinds. Steve tries to go back to sleep, but he’s already awake and any attempts would prove futile.

Tony is wide awake, still in the chair he had been in before Steve drifted off. He glances up from his phone when movement enters his peripheral. “Steve, go back to sleep,” Tony tells him, but his boyfriend is stubborn.

“It’s okay,” Steve says, and he pushes himself into a sitting position. “What time is it?”

“A little after six. You sure you don’t want to get some more rest? The nurses haven’t said anything.”

“They haven’t?” Steve frowns and he sends a glance in the direction of the door. “They always give us updates.”

“Steve, he’s fine. Trust me, they would let us know if anything has changed. You on the other hand-”

“Tony, I’m okay. I swear. I just want to see him.”

Tony sighs and slips his phone back into the pocket of his jacket, then he’s rising to his feet. “You’re so stubborn, Rogers.”

Steve smiles. “I know.”

* * *

Peter is still asleep when Steve and Tony enter the room to meet him. Steve is hesitant to approach, not wanting to disturb his son from a peaceful sleep. Just because he couldn’t sleep didn’t mean his son needed to be interrupted.

But then Peter is stirring, and the small whimper he makes has Steve wanting to rush over and hold him. The steps he takes are cautious. The last thing he wants to do is overstep, but then the nurse who is monitoring his son is shooting him a soft smile.

“Is he okay?” Steve asks her, taking the small steps until he’s standing near the incubator. Peter is still whimpering, small legs and arms flailing. Steve slides one hand through the opening on the side of the incubator, gently brushing his thumb over Peter’s tiny foot. At the contact, Peter is opening his eyes and Steve smiles down at him. “Hi, Petey.”

Peter’s whimpers die down and he locks his eyes with Steve’s. It was the first time they have made eye contact. Peter had been struggling to focus on anything, but now he is able to meet Steve’s eyes. It was a good sign.

“I think someone is hungry,” the nurse says when Peter starts to whimper again. “Do you want to try again?”

Steve finds himself nodding his head in response to the question. He’s nervous. The last attempts hadn’t gone as smoothly as he had hoped, but he was assured it was normal for a premature baby to have some trouble latching on.

Once Peter is in his arms, all of those fears and doubts hit him harder than they have before. Peter was so small and vulnerable, and the fear of not being enough for him made Steve doubt his abilities as a parent. He didn’t know the first thing about being a father; he was a soldier, a leader. The last thing he ever pictured himself becoming was a father.

Peter is opening his eyes again, showing off the deep blue that Steve knows will turn into a familiar shade of brown. He’s lucky. He gets to gaze into two pairs of the eyes he can’t live without. Just staring into his son’s beautiful eyes eases all of his worries. He would do anything, sacrifice everything if it meant keeping his son safe.

It’s a struggle to get Peter in a comfortable position and latching on. Steve hates the frustrated sounds that he makes whenever his attempts at feeding his son fail. He wonders what he’s doing wrong, and just like that, all those doubts start flooding back.

The whimper Peter makes is heartbreaking, and Steve hates himself for causing his son to feel any sort of discomfort. Someone steps in to assist and that’s when Steve realizes it’s the nurse. She doesn’t judge him or make him feel like he was a failure. She’s gentle and kind, offering advice to him and making him comfortable.

It takes another try, but soon Peter is latching on and nursing greedily. Steve stares down in awe, completely overwhelmed with emotion. His son was so beautiful, so perfect. He already had Steve wrapped around his little finger.

Steve brings him closer, careful not to disturb the wires still connecting his son to the nearby monitors. There’s not many connected to him like there have been, but Steve is still cautious.

Tony comes over, a bright smile breaking across his face at the sight of his son. “He looks so much better,” Tony comments, and he reaches down to lay a hand over Peter’s back.

“Yeah,” Steve nods his head in agreement. The amount of pressure Peter applies to his chest increases, along with the soft noises he makes while he eats. “He’s doing it. He’s getting better.”

“Well, he takes after you. You never stopped fighting and obviously this kid is gonna be the same.”

Steve smiles and uses his free hand to adjust the blanket around his son. They fall into a comfortable silence, and the only sounds that fill the room is that of the machines connected to Peter and the soft suckling he produces.

“You know I saw her,” Steve starts, tearing his gaze away from his son to lock it with Tony’s. “My ma. She was there, and it was her who convinced me to get back up.”

“Like she always had,” Tony says and Steve nods.

“Yeah. I almost wanted to stay, but then there was you and Peter and...and I just couldn’t leave you.”

“And I’m never leaving you. After that stunt you pulled, I’m never leaving your side. I don’t care how much I suffocate you and Peter, but I am not leaving. I can’t lose you again.”

Steve smiles. “You won’t. I’m never going to leave you or Pete again. I know I said I’d do anything for him, but it’s you too. You and him are the only thing that matters.”

“And you’ve accused me of going soft,” Tony chuckles.

The gaze Tony has on Peter lingers, and Steve is ready to offer him for Tony to hold. “I’m sorry I’ve been hogging him. You haven’t held him yet, have you?”

“No,” Tony replies with a shake of his head. “It’s okay,” he quickly adds when he catches the frown on Steve’s face. “He needs you more right now.”

“He needs us both.”

Tony doesn’t believe those words. He was the last person his son needed. From the beginning he had been willing to end their son’s life just so that Steve could keep his, whereas Steve was willing to sacrifice it all just for Peter. That guilt was still eating at him, and there was no telling when it would stop torturing him.

But for now he hides it all away. Just like he’s always done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They are going to be taking Peter home in the next chapter and the rest of the team will get a chance to properly meet him. Also, Tony is still struggling with his past actions, and right now he's wondering if he's good enough. He'll get another moment alone with his son and a chance to actually hold him. Thank you all for reading!


	19. Chapter 19

Peter can come home.

That news is both relieving and nerve wracking all at the same time. Getting to take their son home was something they had been waiting for, but then reality began to set in. They would have to fend for themselves and care for their son on their own. It was a scary thought, but they had each other. And that was all they needed.

Tony is still wary. The day the wires and tubes had been removed from his son should have sparked some kind of joy, and for a moment it had. He knew his son was healthy and completely free of any complications. That’s all he ever wanted. He had wanted Peter to pull through and keep fighting.

But he’s still so tiny and fragile, and the thought of something going wrong in his care terrifies Tony. He knew nothing about raising kids and being a father. It wasn’t just something he was going to grasp overnight; he knew that, but his inexperience still scared him.

Designing new tech was his thing. He could spend hours creating something the world had never seen before. That came easy to him. But caring for a baby, and one as delicate as Peter, that was something he could not do.

Steve seems calm, too calm in Tony’s opinion. He’s smiling and cooing at their son while he carefully gets him dressed in the outfit Peter will get to go home in. The set of clothes had been a gift from Natasha; she had made it clear that she wanted to see her nephew come home in them.

Peter keeps still while he’s dressed, only squirming and whimpering when Steve has to slip his tiny arms through the sleeves. Tony hates the sound his son makes; it was one he had heard more times than he had wanted. It’s not a painful one, and he’s proud of himself for beginning to learn the difference, but it still makes his heart clench. He never wants his son to suffer again.

“Tony?” At the sound of his name, Tony is snapped from his thoughts and he directs his attention to Steve. Judging by the look on his boyfriend’s face, he had called Tony’s name more than once. “You okay?” Steve asks once he has Tony’s attention.

“Yeah,” Tony answers quickly. “Sorry, I kinda zoned out there. Tired.”

Steve doesn’t appear convinced, but he nods his head anyway. “Me, too. Do you mind holding him while I get the carrier?”

This is the part where Tony should be answering the question in a timely fashion, but instead he stares blankly at Steve. The thought of holding his son shouldn’t terrify him as much as it is. Steve had been holding him since most of their stay in medical, and Tony wasn’t ready to break that cycle.

“Uh I’ll get the carrier,” Tony says, doing his best to ignore the frown being sent his way. He doesn’t give Steve a chance to question his decision, and he moves quickly toward the opposite side of the room to get the carrier situated.

If Steve does want to have a conversation, the opportunity is stolen away when Peter begins to whimper again. Tony glances up at the sound, trying to figure out what it is his son needs. Steve already knows the answer and he’s gently taking Peter into his arms and occupying one of the empty chairs.

Steve has Peter in position and feeding in a matter of minutes. Tony almost envies him for knowing what it is their son needed. Maybe it’s parental instincts, or maybe it’s just because Steve is already a better father than him. From day one Steve had been willing to do anything for their son, even give up his own life just so Peter could have one. Tony had wanted the opposite. He didn’t deserve to be a father. He didn’t deserve his son.

Once Peter is finished nursing and burped, Steve is bringing him over. Tony panics, praying that Steve doesn’t drop him in his arms and leave. But when Steve gently places their son in the carrier and straps him in, that panic slowly ebbs away. Only to resurface when he notices how small Peter looks in the carrier. Tony doesn’t understand how the straps are supposed to keep him safe. He looks like he might slip through. Luckily, for them they are riding the elevator to their apartment instead of driving home from the hospital.

“Are you sure that’s gonna keep him in there?” Tony questions, still hesitant about the safety the baby carrier is supposed to provide. Pepper had assured it was the best of the best when Steve had opened it during the shower.

“Tony, it’s fine,” Steve assures. He adjusts the straps, hoping that would ease his worried boyfriend. “Are you okay?” He asks again, knowing damn well that whatever answer Tony will give won’t be a hundred percent truthful, but he needs to ask anyway.

“Yeah.” And there it is, the fake smile. Steve has seen it many times before. He just never thought he’d see it now.

“Tony-”

The sound of the door cuts through their conversation, leaving Steve annoyed and Tony thankful. Stephen is stepping into the room, offering the new parents a small smile. “I just wanted to check in,” he says.

“Thank you.” Steve smiles. “I don’t know how to properly thank you for everything that you’ve done. My son is okay thanks to you.”

“Well, I wouldn’t give myself all the credit. That serum definitely was a factor.”

“But you never gave up. I think you’ve been the first doctor that’s never looked at me as a lost cause, so thank you.”

“I’m glad I could be of some use to you after all, Captain Rogers. Good luck to you and your son.”

“I get nothing?” Tony questions, smirking when Stephen rolls his eyes at the question.

“Trust me, Stark the same wish applies to you. You’re always pushing your luck. Like you are now. Don’t expect a friendship out of this,” Stephen says.

“We weren’t friends already? Weird. Here’s to wishful thinking.”

Peter is fussing again and Stephen decides his presence is no longer needed, and with a goodbye he leaves the room.

“Do you want to hold him?” Steve asks. He frowns when Tony shakes his head. “Tony-”

“It’s okay. I just um...he might be hungry again and I can’t exactly do that part…” Tony trails off. He quickly diverts his eyes elsewhere, no longer able to stand the disappointed look on Steve’s face.

Steve sighs heavily. There was something going on with his boyfriend, and he knew there was no point in trying to get it out of him now. He’ll get his chance later.

* * *

That chance to sit down and talk with Tony doesn’t happen. The moment Steve and Peter are released, the team is waiting to welcome them. Steve is still suffering from the lingering exhaustion and other discomforts brought on from the birth, but he can’t bring himself to decline a few moments with his friends.

They gather in the communal space, and that’s when Peter is properly introduced to his family. Natasha holds him first, her eyes sparkling when she takes him in for the first time. Peter doesn’t squirm or whimper in her arms, and instead he finds comfort in her arms and drifts off to sleep.

“He’s beautiful,” Natasha comments, and she gently traces her finger along her nephew’s face. “It’s crazy that he’s finally here.”

Steve hums in response and tilts his head back against the sofa, eyes slowly fluttering shut. It would be so easy to drift off like his son has, but someone is gently shaking him awake and he lifts his head. Bucky is the one responsible for disrupting his sleep, but he can’t be upset with his best friend.

“Sorry,” Steve apologizes and rubs his eyes. “Guess I’m still a little tired.”

“I don’t blame you. I think you better sleep, Steve,” Bucky suggests.

“Then you should have let me, Barnes,” Steve teases and Bucky chuckles softly.

“He’s right,” Natasha agrees, and her eyes flicker in Tony’s direction. “I think you both could use some sleep. Remember what they say, you sleep when the baby sleeps.”

“Let me hold the kid before they take him.” Sam holds his arms out, smiling when Peter is gently placed in them. “Hey none of that. You’re with Uncle Sammy now,” he says when Peter stirs.

The visit is cut short when Peter grows overstimulated and voices his complaints. Sam tries to offer him to Tony, but when Tony refuses to take his son, Steve is stepping in and bringing Peter close. Peter scents his father and is immediately calming down.

“We better get him to sleep,” Tony says. He doesn’t stick around to place Peter back in the carrier, and instead he disappears from the room.

It doesn’t go unnoticed by the rest of the team.

“It’s fine,” Steve assures his teammates while he straps his son back into the carrier. “We’re fine.”

Only, Steve wasn’t. The moment they’re stepping into the apartment, Tony is leaving Steve and Peter behind again. Steve hears the door to their bedroom shut and he lets out a heavy sigh. Peter is growing agitated from being in the carrier and Steve calmly shushes him.

“Come on, Bud. Let me show you where you’re sleeping.”

The nursery isn’t just revealed to Peter for the first time, now when Steve steps into the room, he’s granted full vision of the space Tony had created. Tears sprang to his eyes when he saw the room how he’s meant to.

Peter’s fussiness is what draws him away from the room, and he gives all of his attention to his son. The moment Peter is in his arms again, he’s quieting down and opening the eyes Steve can’t get enough of.

Steve smiles down at him. “Hi, Pete. Welcome home, Sweetheart.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Tony just doesn't feel like he's good enough. And though disappearing isn't helping, he just doesn't know how to voice how he's feeling. The next chapter will focus on him with Steve and then he gets some alone time with his son.


	20. Chapter 20

It’s a lot easier to get Peter to sleep than Steve had originally anticipated. He thought for sure his son’s first night in a new environment would be an adjustment, especially considering that Peter had spent the first few days of his life hooked up to various machines. But he surprises Steve when he falls into a peaceful sleep the moment he’s laid down in the crib.

Steve doesn’t leave his side, and he keeps watch over his son’s sleeping form, his chest full of love and happiness for the little life that has now given his own purpose.

He needs to feel his son, just to know that this was in fact not a dream, but reality; his reality. Peter stirs from the contact and Steve freezes, letting his hand hover near by until Peter is relaxed again. He’s more cautious this time around, and he gently brushes his thumb along Peter’s much smaller fingers. Steve smiles when his son’s hand twitches from the contact. The simple touch was all he needed to confirm that he wasn’t dreaming, that this was all real.

“I love you so much,” Steve whispers, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to the top of his son’s head.

There’s a part of him that doesn’t want to leave his son’s side, and if he could he would watch him all night. But someone else needed his attention, and after another goodnight kiss, he leaves the nursery and makes his way toward the master bedroom.

The sliver of light underneath the door isn’t the only indication that Tony is still awake; the soft sobs coming from inside is another. His heart breaks at the sounds, and with a heavy sigh, Steve is reaching for the knob and twisting it. The click of the door startles Tony and he’s quickly rising from the bed, one hand coming up to wipe away the tears.

“Hey,” Tony sniffs and continues to quickly wipe at his eyes. “You get him to sleep?”

“Yeah,” Steve replies with a nod and he steps further into the room. “Tony, we need to talk.”

“It’s late and I’m really tired-”

“What’s going on with you?”

“Nothing. Steve, I’m fi-”

“You’re not. And we’re going to talk,” Steve says firmly. When Tony makes no attempt at protesting, Steve takes the opportunity to come closer and he leads Tony back down to the bed. “Tony, talk to me,” he urges, giving his boyfriend’s hand a squeeze.

Tony sighs heavily and glances down at their connected hands. “I don’t think-Steve, I’m not…” he sighs again, eyes welling with tears. “I’m not enough.”

“You are. You’re more than enough. Peter loves you-”

Tony scoffs and wipes his eyes again. “I didn’t want him. For the longest time I was ready to choose you over him and now he’s here and...and I hate myself for everything that I did, for everything that I said.”

“Tony, look at me,” Steve urges, smiling softly when brown eyes are gazing into his own. “I don’t hate you, and neither does our son. I forgave you for all of that. Why can’t you forgive yourself?”

“It’s not that simple,” Tony says quietly, his eyes filling with more tears and this time Steve is there to wipe them away. “I’m not...you both don’t deserve me. Maybe it should have been me that-”

“Don’t. I couldn’t imagine doing this without you. We both need you, Tony. I know it’s been...a journey, but we’ve reached the end of that one and now we have a new one-with our son. We need you.”

“What if I’m not a good father? It’s only been a few days and you already know how to do everything.”

It’s Steve’s turn to scoff at those words, and he shakes his head. “Not everything. I’m scared and lost just as much as you are. That’s why we need to stick together, to do this as a team. We need each other. For him.”

The deep breath Tony takes helps, but it’s having Steve by his side and knowing that he’ll continue to have him is what calms him; it’s a reassurance he desperately needed.

From down the hall, Peter is waking up, his cries making Tony tense at the sound. There’s a part of him that is ready to rush toward him and comfort him, but the other half-the one that has been trying to convince him that he was worthless and didn’t deserve that precious baby-tries to prevent him from leaving his spot and rushing after his son.

It’s not until Steve is making an attempt to go check does Tony snap out of it and he reaches out, stopping his boyfriend from leaving. “Let me try,” Tony says and Steve nods, offering him a reassuring smile.

It’s nerve wracking to say the least when Tony steps foot in the nursery. Peter’s cries have risen in volume, the piercing sound only making Tony feel worse. That voice is trying once again to convince him that he wasn’t a good father like Steve was, that he was only going to end up like the father he knew. Tony shuts that voice out. He’s not going to end up like his father. He was going to be better.

He carefully takes Peter into his arms, and that’s when everything changes. The urge to love and protect his son is suddenly the only thing that matters. Those fears and doubts are gone; all Tony can think about is his son.

It takes a moment for Peter to adjust and quiet down, but once he does, his eyes are fluttering open and he’s peering up into those of his father’s. Tony’s breath is completely taken away at the sight, and he smiles down at him. There’s a mixture of emotions flooding through Tony when he holds his son for the first time. That fear is still there, lingering around him like a shadow, but he forces himself to ignore it, only giving Peter all of his attention.

“Hey, Petey,” Tony winces at the nickname when he recalls Steve using it on him, and decides it should be his boyfriend’s name for their son. “Sorry, guess your papa has the rights to that name. I’ll think of something. I’m usually pretty good at giving everyone their own personalized nickname, even if they don’t really like it.”

Peter continues to stare up at him, contently listening to the familiar voice. Tony’s smile grows brighter and he brings his son closer, snuggling him gently to his chest and presses his lips against the messy dark hair. “I love you so much, Kiddo. I’m gonna try to be the best dad I can possibly be okay? Don’t...don’t give up on me. And I’m sorry I almost gave up on you. You and your papa are the most important things to me. I can’t live without you two.”

“We can’t live without you either.” Steve is leaning against the doorframe of the room, arms folded over his chest and a warm smile on his face. Now that he’s captured Tony’s attention, he pushes himself off the frame and enters the room, coming closer until he’s standing beside the two people he loves most. “I told you he didn’t hate you.”

“Yeah,” Tony smiles, glancing back down at his son again. “He’s so beautiful. I know the hair is definitely from my side and the eyes-”

“Those are yours. I’m pretty sure.”

“Okay, but I swear this kid is gonna take after you. He’s already proved that he’s a Rogers.”

Steve smiles. “Yeah, I guess he has. Now you have two of us to put up with.”

“I’m okay with that,” Tony says, and he glances up to meet Steve’s eyes. “I want him and you.”

“Tony, you already have us.”

“No, I mean forever. I can’t imagine doing any of this without and I don’t know...maybe we can…” Tony pauses, taking a deep breath to collect himself. The words that he wants to say are right there on the tip of his tongue.

Steve is frowning now, a look of confusion flashing across his features. “Tony-”

“Marry me.” Tony finally finds the words. Just as he expected, Steve is taken off guard and for a moment he regrets just blurting those words. He never did well with thinking before he spoke. “Steve, I’m sorry. If it’s-”

“Yes.”

“Wait, what? You’ll-you’re sure?”

“Yes,” Steve says again, his lips curving into a smile. “I want to marry you.”

“I’d totally kiss you right now but…” Tony trails off, gesturing toward their son who is still nestled in his arms.

“I know.” Steve grins and leans in, placing a kiss to Tony’s cheek.

Peter stirs in Tony’s arms, his face contorting in discomfort and little hands balling into fists. Tony tries to calm him, only for his attempt to fail and he sends a pleading look in Steve’s direction.

“He’s hungry again,” Steve says, and he carefully takes Peter into his arms. He moves over to the rocking chair, settling himself down and getting Peter in position.

“How do you already have this figured out?” Tony questions while he watches his son nurse.

“I don’t. This part yeah...sort of...” Steve frowns down at his chest. Peter nurses greedily, the suckling sounds he produces only getting louder the more he eats.

“You meant it, right?” Tony’s voice cuts through the soft noises Peter makes, and Steve is looking up again, meeting Tony’s eyes. “I'm enough? You think I can do this?”

“I know you can. You don’t see it now, but you’re a good father, Tony.”

Tony lets out sigh. “Yeah, maybe.”

He’s given the chance to hold Peter again after Steve finishes nursing. They switch places-Tony taking the rocking chair and Steve lingering nearby. Peter doesn’t fall back asleep right away, instead keeping his eyes transfixed on Tony’s.

“See?” Steve says with a yawn and he lowers himself down to the floor near Tony’s feet. “He does love you. And he remembers your voice.”

Tony hums in agreement and continues to rock back and forth in the chair, his own gaze never leaving Peter’s. With one finger he strokes along Peter’s face, smiling softly when it soothes his son to sleep.

“He’s so perfect,” Tony comments, then he turns to Steve. “You both are. How did I get so lucky?”

“I was going to ask myself the same thing,” Steve grins.

“I should put him to bed but I can’t let go of him.”

“I know,” Steve lets out another yawn and he rises to his feet, softly groaning when his back pops. “But remember what Nat said? When he sleeps, we sleep.”

“Fine. I’ll be right there,” Tony says, smiling when Steve leans down to kiss him goodnight.

Tony stays behind a little longer than he meant to, but letting his son go was the last thing he wanted to do. Just earlier he had felt the opposite-holding his son wasn’t something he had wanted to do, now it was all he wanted.

He’s careful when he does finally get up from the chair, moving slowly so that he doesn’t risk waking his sleeping son. Peter is gently placed back into his crib, and Tony bends down to place a kiss to the top of his head.

“Daddy loves you so much,” he says softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had wanted to keep this chapter fluffy and give Tony the chance to bond with his son. He'll learn to move on from his mistakes and be the best father/husband in the world! I will try and get the last chapter up tomorrow if I can. I might do a little time skip! Thank you all for reading!


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it’s been over two months and I’m so sorry for the late update! I struggled to wrap this story up, but I finally finished it! Thank you all for following this story and enjoying it! I appreciate every single one of you! ❤️

Steve’s nervous, more so than he’s ever been. He reminds himself that there was nothing to worry about and that the butterflies swarming around in his belly were perfectly normal. But the pep talk he gives himself isn’t enough to ease his worried mind.

With shaky hands he adjusts the bowtie around his neck, huffing in annoyance when he refuses to get it to his liking. The rest of his suit looks fine, but the damn bowtie fights with him and he’s ready to rip it off and throw it near his feet.

“I can do this,” he tells his reflection and he takes a steady breath to calm himself.

He can do this. If he could fight alongside his team and save the world, then he could do this. If he could beat death more than once, then this would be easy. If he could become a father, something that he never thought he would become, then he could take the next step. He could get married.

Spending a lifetime with the person he loved most in this world was the motivation he needed. He couldn’t imagine a life without Tony.

The deep breath he takes helps. There’s still a nervous energy coursing through him, but it’s calmed down enough for him to resume adjusting his appearance.

The ceremony would be starting soon, and being reminded of the time he had left brings forth a new wave of anxiousness.

“Shit,” Steve breathes out, reaching up to loosen the bow tie around his neck and letting it hang. It’s too constricting all of a sudden.

“Language.” A familiar voice fills Steve’s ears and he glances up, staring into the familiar eyes of his soon to be husband. Tony looks handsome in his own suit. Steve has seen him dressed sharp many times in the past, but there was something different this time around. The suit he was currently in wasn’t meant for one of his meetings or press conferences, but for their wedding day.

“You’re not supposed to be here,” Steve reminds him, giving up on his own suit to scold Tony. “It’s bad luck.”

Tony gives a nonchalant shrug in response and he strides over, a bright smile appearing over his face. “Darling, you look incredible,” he says, reaching out for Steve’s hands once he’s close enough and letting his eyes explore Steve’s body. “How did I get so lucky?”

Just like that, all of his worries and fears start to diminish. Something only Tony was capable of doing. “I was going to ask myself the same thing,” Steve smiles.

Tony hums and leans in, closing the small bit of space between them and connecting their lips. The feeling of having Tony’s lips pressed against his own never gets old, and though he’d give anything to continue experiencing the wonderful feeling, he knows their time was running out. He reminds himself that he will get to kiss Tony later. And then again for the rest of his life.

“Wait,” Steve breaks the kiss, gently pushing Tony away. “We can’t do this. Not yet anyway.”

“I don’t think I can wait,” Tony says, leaning in for another kiss only to pout when Steve stops him. He huffs. “Okay, I guess I can. We still have what, an hour?”

“Less than that. Can I count on you to be there on time, Stark?” Steve teases.

Tony smiles. “I won’t miss it for the world.”

“Then get out of here.” Steve shoos Tony away playfully.

“Believe me I would be gone by now, but…” The way Tony pauses is concerning. The tone his voice takes on even more so, and Steve can’t help grow worried. Tony wouldn’t call off the wedding...at least, Steve didn’t think he would.

“Tony-”

“It’s nothing bad!” Tony is quick to assure, but he knows he’s failing at easing Steve’s mind. The worried look on Steve’s face has yet to disappear. “It’s just that I may have...shit, how do I say this without freaking you out?”

“You’re already freaking me out by not saying it. Tell me,” Steve demands.

Tony winces. “I lost the kid.”

It takes a second for Steve’s brain to catch up with what Tony had just said. “You-you lost the kid? You lost our son!”

“It was an accident!”

“Tony, how do you lose Peter!”

“I’ve been asking myself the same thing! One minute he was there and then I turned around for a second and he was gone! I don’t know how he did it!”

“Oh my God!” Steve groans, running a hand through his styled hair and leaving it slightly disheveled. “How do you lose him!”

“He’s not very big, which means he’s small enough to hide just about anywhere,” Tony says, wincing again when Steve frowns at him. “Okay not helping.”

“We can’t get married.”

“What?”

“Not until we find him.”

“Right. Yeah, good idea. I’ll just um-”

“Go!” Steve urges when his fiancé refuses to move. “Tony, if we don’t find him-”

A small giggle fills the room, and Steve and Tony glance at each other, a mixture of confusion and relief washing over their faces. They’d know that giggle anywhere, but not knowing where it was coming from was concerning.

“Where is he?” Steve glances around the bedroom, his heart racing when he can’t find his son. He’s used to Peter being sneaky, but this was new for him. “Tony-” Steve starts to say, only to pause when Tony points up at the ceiling.

The sight that greets him is shocking. There’s his son, perched on the ceiling and giggling when he realizes he’s been caught. The beating of his heart only increases, and Steve is sure it’s about to burst out of his chest.

“I knew Pete was good at hide and seek, but this is next level,” Tony says nonchalantly. He doesn’t appear fazed with the fact that their son was currently climbing along the ceiling like some kind of spider. “You know,” Tony continues with a snap of his fingers, and he turns to Steve. “Kid’s gonna need a suit.”

“Tony!” Steve exclaims, a hint of irritation seeping into his tone. Out of all the things he’s heard Tony say, this had to be the worst. “He doesn’t need a suit! He needs to come down!”

Peter giggles from up above, the sound capturing his parent’s attention again. “Hi!” Peter greets with a wave, followed by another giggle when Tony waves back.

“What?” Tony questions when his fiancé frowns at him. “Okay, okay. I’ll get him down.”

“Now! Tony, before he hurts himself!” Steve snaps. Out of all the things to happen on his wedding day, finding his son crawling along the walls was the last thing he expected.

Tony acts quickly, tapping lightly against his chest to activate the red and gold suit.

“Really?” Steve raises a brow. “You brought the suit? On our wedding day?”

Tony shrugs in response. “You never know. Turns out we needed it after all.”

Steve sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. He wonders how the day could get any worse.

Luckily, it improves the moment Tony retrieves their son and brings him safely back down. Steve hugs Peter close, his heart rate finally calming down now that he knows his son is safe.

“Don’t do that again, Pete,” he tries to scold, but his tone is too soft to be taken seriously.

Peter whimpers and buries his face in the crook of Steve’s neck, dampening the collar of his suit with tears.

“It’s okay, bud,” Steve says, soothingly and Peter pulls back to meet his soft gaze. “I’m not mad. You just scared me.”

Peter is still pouting, reminding Steve of how Tony looks when he’s upset. Steve laughs and brings his son back for another hug.

“So…” Tony says, capturing Steve’s attention. “Are we gonna talk about this or…”

“Yeah,” Steve nods. There was no way in hell they were going to shrug off what happened. They knew there was a possibility of the serum altering their son in some shape or form, but they never expected it to affect him like this. “We will,” Steve continues. “But we’re running late for our wedding.”

“Don’t wanna miss that,” Tony smiles and he reaches for their son, taking him in his arms and bringing him close. “Come on, Kiddo. We still need to get you ready,” he tells their son as he turns and leaves the room. “Don’t disappear on me again.”

“I better see you there, Stark!” Steve calls out to him.

Tony turns his head, shooting Steve a smile. “I’ll be standing at the altar, Rogers. Don’t be late.”

* * *

It was perfect. They couldn’t have asked for a more wonderful way to celebrate their love. Being surrounded by their friends-the people they’re blessed to call family- was exactly the way it was supposed to be. The ceremony wasn’t over the top-Steve didn’t want anything too extravagant, all he cared about was being with Tony and the people he cherished most.

Getting married in a church wasn’t Tony’s idea from the beginning. It wasn’t his style, and if he had it his way, they would get married at the compound. But he knew how old-fashioned Steve was and he couldn’t deny the love of his life anything.

The reception, however, was set at their home. The Avenger’s Facility had more than enough room to accommodate the guests on their list, and just like everything else about their special day, it was perfect.

It’s late by the time the newlyweds are departing from the celebration and entering their apartment. Peter passed out, a night of dancing and cake was too much for the little boy. He’s in Tony’s arms, head resting against his shoulder and small arms around his neck.

“I’ll put him to bed,” Tony says.

“Maybe he could sleep with us tonight,” Steve suggests.

Tony raises a brow. “You sure? We can’t really-”

“I know. But we have the honeymoon for that. I just...I just want to be with him tonight. This was an important day for him, too.”

Tony nods, a smile appearing over his face. “Okay,” he says, leading the way toward the master bedroom at the end of the hall.

Peter only wakes once when Steve helps him out of his suit and into his favorite pajamas, then he’s crawling toward the middle of the bed and falling back asleep. Tony and Steve join him once they have changed from their own suits and slipped on something more comfortable.

“He’s so perfect,” Steve smiles, stroking a finger along Peter’s sleeping face. “I love him so much.”

“Yeah,” Tony agrees, a smile similar to Steve’s appearing over his own face. “You both are perfect. I can’t believe I get to have you both.”

“We’re not going anywhere. I promise.” Steve leans over, careful not to disturb his sleeping baby to connect his lips with his husband’s.

Tony hums into the kiss, using one hand to cup Steve’s face and gently stroke his thumb along the soft skin of Steve’s cheek. Peter stirs, forcing them to break away and settle back in their original spots.

“Maybe we should have left him in his bed,” Tony chuckles, and he runs his fingers through his son’s messy hair until Peter has calmed down again.

“You know….I’d do it all over again,” Steve says and Tony glances up to connect their eyes. “I know what happened was...it was hard, but now that I know how it all plays out, how it ends...I’d do it again. For him.”

Tony doesn’t respond. There’s still leftover guilt from the things he said and the thoughts he had, and though time has done its job in helping him move on and forgive himself, there were still days when he regretted the way he felt about his son.

Now, he couldn’t imagine a life without him or Steve. He was lucky. He was blessed.

“Yeah,” Tony agrees. “I’d do anything for you and for him. You two are the only thing that matter to me.”

Steve smiles and leans closer. “I love you,” he whispers, then he’s pressing their lips together again.

Everything was as it should be. They had each other and their son; they were a family. And together, they would be embarking on a new journey.


End file.
